Everybody Loves Mother-in-laws...

[AwdreeHpburn]

I have a hard time conveying my "actual" feelings to my mother-in-law.

 

If you've ever seen Everybody Loves Raymond, you've seen my life. AND my mother-in-law actually used to live right next door to us!

 

Ok, but now... SHE JUST DRIVES ME NUTS! Well, that by itself isn't abnormal. As I learned from the Ray show, a lot of similar situations are out there.

 

She re-washes my kids, their clothes, buys their clothes, makes comments about my lack of ability to keep a clean house and she takes care of my husband like he's still her little baby! Its sick.

 

Those things I guess are sometimes tolerable. My husband always says why get upset about her buying them clothes? Now we don't have to. Am I a freak because that bothers me??

 

The thing I'm having a hard time with is dealing with it with HER, or facing her. I don't think she has any idea that a lot of those things she does bothers me. I know she notices the occasional friction, but I have never actually said, "please don't do that." And I have NO idea why.

 

I've tried in a passive-aggressive really destructive way by making sarcastic comments or taking bizarre stands at the kids birthday parties or the like, but I haven't been able to really let her know how I feel.

 

And how I feel is that I am not her child and my husband and I can manage on our own, like the grown-ups we are. I feel she doesn't think we're doing a good enough job and she has to take over to compensate.

 

I haven't been able to determine yet if I am just being hyper-sensitive because I'm insecure about my abilities OR if she's too overbearing. Maybe its a combo...

 

I guess what I'm looking for is what is the best way to deal with this?

 

She's a super control, neat-freak, AND when cornered or confronted totally shuts down. Walks away. Closes herself off. (I've seen her do it with other people.) And I'm the most passive person on the planet, go ahead, look it up in Guiness...I don't, can't, deal with confrontation. ESPECIALLY initiating confrontation.

 

Any advice, words or wisdom, relatable tales, suggestions or any other comments?? Mother-in-law perspective perhaps??

[AwdreeHpburn]

well....Ta_ree_saw, perhaps you should talk to your husband about it more seriously.

[AwdreeHpburn]

That's a good idea. That's what I'll do.

 

Thanks!