my ex/best friend has new gf.how can we be friends?

[_Kat_]

im just really feelin very low and lost right now and think i need some advice or thoughts from people who may hav been through the same thing as me.

 

Basically me and bf of 3 years split up, mutually about 3 months ago (we were each others first loves). we hang about in the same circle of friends and wen we split we continued to be best friends and it was nice in a way still seeing and knowing i hadnt lost him as a best friend. When i found out had kissed another girl i was devastated and now they are bf and gf.

When i found out i completley went into shock and stayed in bed for 3 days just cryin and lookin through all of our memories. Lat night my friends finally managed to drag me to the pub and he was there with her. It makes me want to be physically sick when i see them and i guess and im gutted at how he can watch me go through this. i mean hes told me hes worried about me but thts hard to believe when i feel like this because of him.

We were best friends and i was closer to him than anyone ever in my life and we went through so much together. I just feel completley lost and dont really know how to act around him, I just dont think im at the stage to be happy for him yet and i see him everyday.

i do still love him so much but know that it wasnt working so why do i feel like this? he doesnt. im not only gutted about the relationship with my first love ending but also because ive lost my best friend. any advice or thoughts would really help, thanks

[Hunny1607307342]

I'm really sorry you have to go through this right now My situation isn't quite the same, but I feel a little of what you feel. I was with a guy, we weren't 100% OFFICIAL but he was my first love and we were 'together' for about 5 months. He broke my heart in the worst way, because he told me about all these plans he has for us, etc. etc. and then suddenly one day he stated that we should be 'just friends'. Only a few days later he had a GIRLFRIEND. It was like another stab in the heart. It literally KILLS, but he does care about you and he doesn't want to watch you be hurt, but because you are just feeling SO hurt right now you feel he's to blame and doesn't care about you. HE DOES care about you still and you haven't lost a best friend. I think you just need to recover from the trauma of finding out you guys aren't boyfriend and girlfriend and that he's moved on in THAT sense. It is hard, but it happens to everyone, or else there wouldn't be so many songs about broken hearts. I suggest you do NC for a while so you can get over him in THAT way, and then after that, you can be close friends again.

[Blue In Texas]

Kat, I am very sorry to hear about your situation and that it has caused you so much pain. It is natural to want to stay friends with your ex. It's the next best thing to being with him -- but only for a while. This is why we can't really be friends with our ex's. I think everyone on this board knows how you feel. He was your best friend, you told him everything, you did so much together, it is inconceivable that he would not be a part of your life...

 

It would hurt like crazy to cut him out of your life. But honestly, it'll hurt more if you don't. NC is awful. But the pain does go away. Keep posting here, and let us know how it is going.