Guys and Emails! Help!

[rachelb]

I'm in a situation where everything's been great, but he's gone overseas for 6mths, he came back to visit me during this time and we had a great time but we are not exclusive although we both are interested in one another and kinda seeing each other. However, our emails are starting to die off and he hasn't replied for about a week (he used to reply immediately). Does this mean anything or do guys generally not like to email?

 

I'm confused - my friend said that in another situation, the guy is interested in her her but he takes ages to email and just doesn't like to reply even though he is very into her. However another friend said that guys will reply if they are into you and if the emails start dying off, then he's not interested?

[NJRon]

I know that I don't like to be too attached at a distance. If you two are only 'kinda seeing each other' and are not exclusive, then I wouldn't get worried about it. In that type of relationship, sometimes things just peter out, sometimes they are kind of put on hold until you can spend time with each other again. It also depends on what he is doing overseas, if he is busy, he could very well just need to find the time to give some emotional attention to an email... while just typing an email takes a few minutes, I kind of need to be in the right frame of mind, which can take a very long time sometimes, depending upon what's going on.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

However another friend said that guys will reply if they are into you and if the emails start dying off, then he's not interested?

 

Right on. I'd put a lot of money on this friend being right, unfortunately.

 

If people are into you, they contact you.

[SteveNaive]

Hey there! I have to agree with NJRon, I too wold guess that it might be due to the "non-exclusivity". That sometimes means a "relationship" just trundles along for a bit and is just put on hold until things eventually are lightened up again. A week of not writing is not such a long period of time. that would immediately lead to the assumption he does not like you anymore. Just wait and see, sometimes it really is just a question of being in the right mood for writing an email. Especially if you do care about someone, you might want to put a certain dedication into what you write, which might eventually take some time.

 

I don't think that guys are particularly "bad" emailers, or particularly lazy with replies. I'd say it really depends upon one's personality...

[RayKay]

I know that I don't like to be too attached at a distance. If you two are only 'kinda seeing each other' and are not exclusive, then I wouldn't get worried about it. In that type of relationship, sometimes things just peter out, sometimes they are kind of put on hold until you can spend time with each other again. It also depends on what he is doing overseas, if he is busy, he could very well just need to find the time to give some emotional attention to an email... while just typing an email takes a few minutes, I kind of need to be in the right frame of mind, which can take a very long time sometimes, depending upon what's going on.

 

I do agree with NJ for the most part, but I think that instead of asking about guys, you have to look at it from your experience with THIS guy.

 

If he had never been much into emailing, then this would be part of his character or at least relationship with you (ie with your friend's guy whom takes ages to reply). If he seemed much more into it before, and it has suddenly changed, I would think something has perhaps begun to change in the dynamics of the relationship or in his interest.

 

Of course all this also depends on what he is doing overseas, some jobs/travel limit your ability to get online and make replies!

 

However if you are not exclusive, he could also just be distancing himself a bit, as he does not want the strain of a long distance relationship.

[MeHim]

My boyfriend wilk be going over seas in April.. and I know he will do everything in his power to keep contact, although we live together so it's a bit different. As long as he does reply and they are not short meangless emails, I wouldnt be worried, he might be very busy. They are able to call when they are away from free, you should suggest this to him.