Oh god, she made contact.

[MR]

You may have seen from a previous post i'm in a tough place, anyhow I was at work today and my mobile received a txt from her.

It basically said 'are you ok? I had a dream you did something terrible and i need to know your ok'

 

Now the sensible side of my brain tells me to ignore it but a small part has regained hope even though I know she was more than likely with someone else that night.. What does she mean and is she just trying to not feel guilty for not getting back together with me?

I was doing ok today until that txt and now I'm feeling terrible.

 

What does she mean?

[Lightbringer]

She is just trying to get rid of her own guilt. This is classic behaviour from someone who has dumped Bf/Gf. They think they are considerate, but infact..their actions only makes it worse.

 

You should break all contact. And i mean ALL. If she wants you back she will contact you and tell you so. But you should tell her that all other contact, if not concerning here wanting you back, is forbidden.

 

It's very hard..i know..but it's the only way

 

 

Take care

[MR]

I kinda know your right but i can't help these feelings at the moment.

Just wanna hold her....

 

Any other thoughts peeps...

[RayXtreme]

I hate those kinds of situations im in one right now and she calls me which i think for no reason. But hey im going to a club tonight and my friend invited here and she said she's having a surprise party for her mom well atleast she knows that she was invited so im going out tonight and enjoying myself....im not sitting home and thinking about is she with this guy and what are they doing i dont want to know anything like that cause ill go off. Its just better for me to have fun and then things will eventually get back again TIME is the key word.!!

[bzborow1]

Yeah I agree with the other posters, she's just trying to relieve her own guilt. I suggest YOU be the one to cut off all contact from her. You don't have to tell her, just don't respond to her calls, messages, e-mails, etc... she'll get the hint. And whatever you do don't call her back answering her question! If you happen to run into her one day you can mention how well you're doing, but that's it. Know that if you tell her you're doing okay, there's no more guilt, and no more reason to contact you. That's why I suggest you take the upperhand here.

[kantore]

I think that if you have to call then call. But I am in a similar situation, I have not spoken to my ex in over 2 months now, and I am constantly thinking the worst, but at the same time, I still want her to call. The truth is that I do not care what she is doing, because it only hurts me to know. I mean to know if she has moved on, while I am still in constant heart ache. But it does get better. Let her make the next move, that way the ball is in your court, or else she is just going to hurt you again.

[Lightbringer]

The reason for me telling you all this is because I myself was dumped 2,5 months ago.

 

We've been together 6 months. Everything was going so well. It was she who chased me in the beginning, before X-mas. After a month I started to date her and fell madly, deeply in love. She seemed to have all qualities iv'e been looking for in a woman. Looks, charm, intelligence, humour. She is also a singer in a band. I myself play guitar. It was so cool to make songs together and hear her sing my lyrics.

 

Anyway. In the beginning of may she started to act funny. I tried to talk about it. I asked if anything was bothering her. But she said I was overreacting. Then suddenly one saturday evening she said it was over!!

 

I tried to discuss what the problem was but she just said that love had died.

 

Ok..so I went home. It was a nightmare come true.

 

I cried for days. Couldn't eat, sleep or do anything. Then she e-mailed me. Wrote that she wanted us to be like close friends. I wrote back that she shouldn't contact me. It only made things worse.

 

After 2 weeks i went to a club with my friends. They told me I had to come out and meet people.

 

Guess who comes waltzing in holding hands with a total stranger. She notices me.. but that doesn't stop her from starting to make out with him only 5 feet away. I nearly threw up on the table. Rushed out and gasped for air.

 

 

Then she has the audacity to message me and ask for help with her computer 2 weeks after. Guess my reply.

 

And this is only a fraction of how she hurt me in so many ways after the breakup.

 

A few days ago she came by with some stuff I forgot at her place.

 

She started to talk in a polite way..then she stopped..started to shut the door..I said: -Good bye...she just shut the door in my face without replying...

 

 

I say....there are some strange people out there...

 

 

So know u know....save yourself alot of trouble and pain. Don't wait around for her.

 

 

It's these first months that are the worst..Then it will slowly get better..

[Genesis]

I do not think that the guilt goes away. I do not know I did respond back to ex b/c I wanted him to know that my life was not going to end just b/c he was not in my life any more. It made him want to text me even more.

 

I guess I feel like I am too old to be playing games, I guess. Yes I hate him , but life is too short. He can spend all of his nights and days knowing that I have moved on, and am happy without him. I am woman enough to let him know this without looking so bitter that I can not respond back to his message. I do not want him back but I also feel like I should be cordial to people. Maybe I am too nice.

 

I do not contact him at all he contacts me. I do not try to worry about his guilt. What goes around comes around so I do not worry about his guilt b/c he will get his Karma one of these days. He may feel at ease that I have moved on but he will get burned one day, and think of ME!!!

[Lightbringer]

There is nothing wrong in answering the phone or making replys if the other part contacts. But the main thing here is to think of yourself. Not what he/she thinks. If you do that you are on the wrong street. This is all about yourself. Not how and what that other person thinks/does.

 

If you really feel it is okay to msg,talk or even meet eye to eye. Hey..thats great. That would mean you are totally over this person.

 

The problem with contact with your dumpee is that, if you still are in the beginning of the process of letting go, it will send you back even weeks and prolong the whole thing. You start analyzing why he/she said, wrote or did this and that. Next thing is to start thinking maybe he/she wants you back etc..Dangerous thoughts...