Called again, crying

[Jjasonn28]

Hello, and welcome back to my saga..

 

She called tonight. I hadn't heard from her in a couple days, as she has been very busy with midterms. Anyways, I answered the phone, and I could immediately tell that she was upset. She was trying to be calm, but only a few words into our conversation, I could tell that she was crying.

 

As much as it hurts that we aren't together, it hurts more to hear her cry. I just cant stand it. She wrote two midterms today, and was feeling down about them. She studied really hard, and was prepared for them, did well on the first, but had a hard time with the second. Even though she was ready, she just had some sort of lapse, and struggled through it.

 

So needless to say, she is stressed, and not feeling very well about herself. So I calmed her down, and told her that everything will be okay. She is putting all her effort into school, and doing very well. One or two setbacks will happen, but wont be the end all of her life. She is risilient, strong, and capable of bouncing back. I told her that its okay to be a little disappointd, because she CAN do better, however, she needs to put it in perspective, and consider it not as a failure, but as a challenge. She is trying her hardest, giving it her all, and THAT is the main thing. I told her that I am proud of her for sticking through this, and that she should be proud of herself.

 

So the conversation ended up being a good one. We had a couple laughs, some small talk, and then she said she was looking forward to seeing me next week. (She plans on visting me, so I'm gonna cook a meal).

 

Im sure most of you have the same preconceptions that she is using me. That I am being her doormat.. Truth is, after conversations like this, I feel better... ME. I dont know why exactly. Perhaps in a way its a confirmation of how well we work together. Sure, we aren't together, and this thought is supposed to make me feel worse, but it doesn't. When she needs strength, she turns to me. Not her sister, or her parents... me. I see her vulnerable side. (As well as the happy, playful side).. but for some reason, I am content, that she can still find comfort with me.

 

Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe im dillusional.. Ive chosen to hang on.

[newts]

It's always nice to be able to help people that you care about when they are need. Yes, you maybe her doormat, however, as long as you feel content that is all that matters.