regret

[teacup]

was there ever a 6 letter word that conveyed more?

 

regrets, i have so many. so many things i would do differently, act differently upon, give the chance. within the distant past, the not so distant past, and within the present as well.

 

elementary - the children that bullied me.....they were just children, but i lashed out in anger, i let it get to me.

 

jr. high - immature preteens, what did they know of life beyond sex, drugs and immature antics? why did i let them crumble my selfesteem?

 

high school - a narrow small world, a fish pond in a wide ocean, yet i never knew any better.

 

college - the beginning of the real playground, yet i did not grab my opportunities, i did not seek out what could have been.

 

and here i am, years later, sad, grieving, with regrets for a life that could have been, things i would have done different, activities i would have joined, friends i would have made, choices i would have taken, men i would have avoided, tantrums i would not have thrown, money i would not have spent, better grades i would have gotten. i am a walking ball of regret.

[Jjasonn28]

Hi teacup.

 

I know exactly what you mean, and how you feel. Ive felt so low, driven myself crazy needlessly going over and over the 'what ifs' of my life. The reason I say needlessly, is because lately, I have tried to take a different perspective on these life events that have made me regret..

 

You see, the thing is, that all we do, everything we are today, has been shaped by every past decision (conscious or otherwise). Well, now I've gone and stated the obvious. We need to come to terms with this, and look at it from another perspective. Every WONDERFUL experience, feeling, person that has come into and played even a tiny roll in my life is because of those same decisions. And even if those good things are sometimes overshadowed by the negatives, I absolutely would not do a thing that would take those good things away from me.

 

For example, sure I'm not happy about MANY decisions I made in my life. I chose work over school, I made poor decisions in relationships that ended up in heartbreak.. so many things. But had I not taken that path, I may never had the opportunity share the love of such an amazing person as my ex. Sure, we aren't together anymore, and that hurts too, but simply being blessed with that time with her, is worth so much more than than any regret.

 

There is nothing we can do about the past. Trying to accept who we are and how we feel today is sometimes so hard. But here we are. Lets look forward.

[ShySoul]

Teacup, we all have things in the past that we are not proud of. There are lots of things we wish we had done differently. But the thing is, all of those things have made us who we are today. And as much as those things may hurt you and haunt you, and as much as you may get down on yourself at times, when I see your name I see a brave and strong person who has survived a lot but has not given up hope. You've made it this far and good things are waiting for you.

 

Life doesn't ask of us what we can't handle. And life seems to think you can handle a lot. And its right. You can handle a lot. I see you making posts now and then advising people to not make the mistakes you made. And when I see that I know that you are on your way to getting better, to working through what haunts you. You are turning the negatives in your life into positives. And thats a good thing, something to be proud of.

 

I came up with a motto that I try to hold to. Learn from the past. Live in the present. Live for the future. You can't change mistakes of the past. But you can learn from them and use those lessons to do better now and in the future. Live in the present, enjoying today and not driving yourself crazy with thoughts of the past or worries about the future. And life for the future, the hope of something better.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

That's all true.

 

Im a walking ball of regret at only 17! It's making me think that my thinking is my problem, not so much what's given to me.