Help! Can't Orgasm

[someguy335]

I need help.. I've been in a relationship for my girlfriend for a year now, and we just started to perform oral on each other. I can make her orgasm on a frequent basis, but I can't seem to orgasm. I gave up looking at videos, etc. two months ago, but was never too large at looking at that material in the first place, to really make me just get off to that. Everything she's doing is making me feel good, and I feel comfortable around her, but I just can't climax. Any ideas I should tell her? Please help me!

[Relationship Coach]

Can you climax on your own? If you can't you may have some medical problems. Go to your doctor and seek out a good urologist.

 

RC

[NJRon]

It's not totally abnormal to have a difficult time attaining orgasm from oral. It depends tremendously on the other person's skill and the man's sensitivity. However, as RC said, if you can;t achieve orgasm on your own, you should see a urologist.

[miracle29]

If you are tense and very nervous then this may be the problem. If you can make yourself climax and its just when you are with her that you can't...then try relaxing. Also try instructing her on what to do. Keep in mind some men take a VERY long time to climax..and they end up giving up thinking that there is something wrong with them...and they end up building this paranoia about it. Try relaxing....or watching a "naughty" movie together or toys or creams to intensify the sensation..and see if the excitment of the two can really help the two of you. Sometimes it takes patience...not medical help.

[Relationship Coach]

Miracle,

 

I'm not suggesting going to a doctor because he needs medical help in achieving an orgasm, he may have a medical condition that may need attention. Often this is a warning sign for other issues:

Prostatitis: Disorders of the Prostate

 

Prostatitis may account for up to 25 percent of all office visits by young and middle-aged men for complaints involving the genital and urinary systems. The term prostatitis actually encompasses four disorders:

• Acute bacterial prostatitis is the least common of the four types but also the easiest to diagnose and treat effectively. Men with this disease often have chills, fever, pain in the lower back and genital area, urinary frequency and urgency often at night, burning or painful urination, body aches, and a demonstrable infection of the urinary tract as evidenced by white blood cells and bacteria in the urine. The inability to ejaculate also relates to the inflammation of the prostrate gland, although this inflammation may go unnoticed. The treatment is an appropriate antibiotic.

• Chronic bacterial prostatitis, also relatively uncommon, is acute prostatitis associated with an underlying defect in the prostate, which becomes a focal point for bacterial persistence in the urinary tract. Effective treatment usually requires identifying and removing the defect and then treating the infection with antibiotics. However, antibiotics often do not cure this condition.

• Chronic prostatitis/chronic pelvic pain syndrome is the most common but least understood form of prostatitis. It is found in men of any age, its symptoms go away and then return without warning, and it may be inflammatory or non inflammatory. In the inflammatory form, urine, semen, and other fluids from the prostate show no evidence of a known infecting organism but do contain the kinds of cells the body usually produces to fight infection. In the non inflammatory form, no evidence of inflammation, including infection-fighting cells, is present.
   
  Antibiotics will not help nonbacterial prostatitis. You may have to work with your doctor to find a treatment that's good for you. Changing your diet or taking warm baths may help. Your doctor may give you a medicine called an alpha blocker to relax the muscle tissue in the prostate. No single solution works for everyone with this condition.

• Asymptomatic inflammatory prostatitis is the diagnosis when the patient does not complain of pain or discomfort but has infection-fighting cells in his semen. Doctors usually find this form of prostatitis when looking for causes of infertility or testing for prostate cancer.

[njguy20]

Are you having sex when you want to, or are things kind of "planned". Sometimes, spontenaity(spelling??) is an incredible affrodiziac. If that doesnt work, then maybe something else is troubling you. Are you stressed out about something? Personally i have esperienced times when i was stressed out about something( not relating to the relationship) and i couldnt enjoy sex. I felt disconnected, even though my g/f was doing nothing wrong. If you are generally having problems having an orgasm, even by yourself, then you might have other problems mentioned above. But it can be a number of things.

[someguy335]

no.. I can orgasm on my own.. but how long is a VERY long time?

[Relationship Coach]

OK, so the plumbing is working it's something in your relay switch! It's mental thing which can be corrected over time and sooner if you can get it pin pointed. How do you feel about oral sex? Have you had an orgasm before through oral sex?

 

RC

[becallamjr]

I suggest, fingering her while you are getting the oral on. this usually works great for me, since it is the only way I can orgasm when I'm getting some of that. I have had some really good ones and really bad ones, but this method has always worked for me. Also, even if you cant orgasm while getting blown, it is a good prepper for sex.

[someguy335]

alright.. thanks so far.. but girls.. can you give me any advice on what you think the best (should i say, "technique") way to get your man off on oral sex is, that I can tell her?

[njguy20]

thats really up to you. Personally from oral, i like a lot more attention payed to the head ( sucking, licking) and less stroking. Its really YOUR preference there. But if you would like to pull from others and see what you like, then i have given you one approach.

[ShySoul]

Don't worry or think about it. Doing so puts extra pressure on yourself and makes it more difficult. Try not to think of anything else, to not get frustrated. Just enjoy the experience. It may take time to become comfortable, but it will happen eventually. And when it does, it will be worth the wait.

 

As for techniques she can do, discovering what works best is half the fun. Just have do different things, use her imagination. When something makes you tingle, let her know. Communicate with each other and see what you each enjoy best.

[NJRon]

Just a quick note.. she should probably be using her hand also... if she is just trying with her mouth.. yeah.. that could take a long time unless she has extra-special skill