Ex's Reuniting

[heartbroken23]

Quick question

 

Does anyone have any experiences/stories of two breaking up, spending a few years apart, experiencing other people and having other relationships, to then getting back together. I was just curious especially to those who it was there first love. My ex and I (together 5 yrs) broke up almost 2 yrs ago. We have dated others (she is in a relationship) but we are close still. We talk regularaly and funny enough she even gives me advice with my current dating issues. She often says she wonders what the future has in store for us and that if we did get backtogether in the future it would be great because we have changed and grown up and have more experience, Which is true. Just curious if anyone has any similar stories. Thanks!

[KissMe_KillMe]

nope no stories like that...

i think getting back with ex's is dumb, honestly

its never gonna change!

maybe 1 out of like 10 relationships like that work out.

hmmm but its good to hear u guys get along now!

[stolenshadow]

There are many of those in this forum, but, my experience with such situations basically taught me that if a person is "seeing what's out there before settling" they are not worth it.

 

I find it quite rude she even tells you that she could date you in the future, why not now?.

 

Your posts express you are a good person, I'm sure you can find a nice girl who wants to date you and never be away from you "right away", don't settle, past times aren't always the best.

[heartbroken23]

Well we wre each others first relationship and I guess we both needed to experience more....why can't she date me now? She has a BF.

[stolenshadow]

And she has a boyfriend for a reason.

 

First relationships always stay with us, same as nice experiences from our past, but that doesn't mean they are the best we can live, you can see how time changes that, surely nice things have happened to you since you were a teen or a kid, or last year, and so on.

[Sway1607307344]

Quick question

 

Does anyone have any experiences/stories of two breaking up, spending a few years apart, experiencing other people and having other relationships, to then getting back together. I was just curious especially to those who it was there first love.

 

I split with a guy a few years ago, we were 'first loves' and met in our teens. We were involved for around 9 years, off and on, we split, met other people, were apart for 10 years, met again through the internet (he came looking for me) and now we are good friends. I'm unsure at this point where it is headed.......same as you.

 

My ex and I (together 5 yrs) broke up almost 2 yrs ago. We have dated others (she is in a relationship) but we are close still. We talk regularaly and funny enough she even gives me advice with my current dating issues. She often says she wonders what the future has in store for us and that if we did get backtogether in the future it would be great because we have changed and grown up and have more experience, Which is true. Just curious if anyone has any similar stories. Thanks!

 

I think it's wrong of her to be filling your head, with what is seemly 'false hopes'. She has a boyfriend, yet she talks of a future with you...lol. Either she's messing the current boyfriend around, or she's messing you around!!

 

Look.....if you meant that much to her, then IMO she'd come clean with her boyfriend, tell her all about you and then leave him to be with you. It would appear that she's keeping you on the 'back burner; incase things fail with the current boyfriend.......she then has you to fall back on.

 

I'm sorry, but I wouldn't let her use you in this way. I'd limit contact with her and in contact with her, I'd be brief, then say goodbye. I'd try if I were you, to move on and away from her, because she has absolutely no intentions of leaving this guy, else it would have happened before now! If you can handle being 'friends', then so be it, but I don't think that you can handle being 'just friends', else you wouldn't be posting here. You are setting yourself up for more 'emotional turmoil', if you remain in contact IMO.

 

I know it's hard, particularly when it's an ex who was your first love. For some reason or other, our 'first love' tends to stick in our minds and they can do for years and years after the break up. I know, because I never, ever forgot my 'first love'. But ya know, when things aren't progressing the way you'd like them too, you have no choice but to move on with your life.

 

There's a saying

 

'If you love something, set it free - if it returns, it is 'yours', it was meant to be'.......

[melee18]

nancy kalish has a book about things like this entitled "lost and found lovers: facts and fantasies of rekindled romances". it's basically a study of couples that were together when they were younger, separated for various reasons and then found each other again in life. makes you wonder about how much say we really have on who we encounter on the road of life...

[Sway1607307344]

nancy kalish has a book about things like this entitled "lost and found lovers: facts and fantasies of rekindled romances". it's basically a study of couples that were together when they were younger, separated for various reasons and then found each other again in life. makes you wonder about how much say we really have on who we encounter on the road of life...

 

Yeah, it's a book I've been meaning to buy for ages now, must get around it.

 

I think though, that the book focuses around 'first love's', who have been apart for a lot of years, 10, 15, 20 years or more, who have found each other, gone searching for the other......

 

And also when old flames reunite, there is a high success rate of these couples actually staying together. Those who have been apart for 10 years or more, are the ones most likely to stay together, when they meet again.

 

There is also a website:

 

link removed

 

Nancy Kalishs website.