Why are some girls so sensitive?

[Spawn]

although its been a bumpy ride for me after my breakup, i have to say i am gettin stronger day by day.But the thing is i dunno if this is a stage of healing but i have started finding reasons that i could have seriously thought about a lot earlier.

 

Like she being so sensitive to certain issues which we couldn't even have a normal discussion on, she would hung up on me on most times when ever i used to start talkin abt it.

 

Dumping me once for crying and when i didn't pick up her call cause of my mobile loosin its charge, hell that was one hard time makin her understand that it wasn't my fault.

 

Even when the last time we talked before breakup, it was the same scene, it was very important for me to know where exactly i stood in the relationship, after she hurt me a lot day after day sayin to leave me, she doesn't want me and that i am only there for her because i want her, and that i would soon forget her and go for someother girl.

 

Whenever i used to lend her my shoulders, she used to think i am sympathizin with her, pityin her and she hated it. I used to tell her i am her boyfriend and i felt like being there for her during her bad times. But she said the same thing on more than one occasion, and that all really hurt my feelings although she was the one who used to call me and tell about all those fights with her dad and mom n her brother. And then bcause of her problems at home she dumps me again sayin she is not happy with me.

 

Even when i contacted her the last time i mailed sayin there were certain issues that we had in our relationship and if she was willin to work it out then we could really better our relationship, she instead sent me a mail sayin - "somewhere in your mail you called me a bad person"...so she doesn't want to be with me.

 

I just don't know what all this means, either she is very immature to know that she was hurtin me with all those things, or she felt she was doin the right things and just never felt it could hurt me. In any case, i felt i couldn't convey my feelings in a proper way to her.

 

I am by nature a very carin person, will do anything for my family/ friends, but that was one person i cared a lot about and she really misunderstood me on lot of occasions.

 

Anyways to add to the confusion, i asked her once after she dumped me seein me cryin, what was the problem with me. The thing she said was that i don't like my man to cry and he shud be strong before me and then endin with "you(me) are a complete package and any girl would love to be with you"

 

The thing that really pissed me off was when she compared my cryin thing to someother occasion when her ex ( her 1st bf) reacted the same way. She said that guy cried because it was genuine low moment for him. Anyways i felt pretty low at that time cause i felt i was about to loose her and i did.

 

If i am like datin a girl probably sometime after i get settled down with all of my emotions, and probably get along very well with some girl, would it happen to me again.I understand having differences on opinions but do some girls really work it out with their bf's.

 

Well she was my first gf? Thats what scares me could there be girls like her out there.

 

My friends have all gone thru their share of breakups, thats what really scared me in the first place to date any girl. Anyways thats in the past.

 

Thanks for readin....hope am not ventin again.

[Itsok]

My friend, trust me. She is a one of a kind, and NOT in a good way.

 

She is very immature, and obviously doesn't know what a normal relationship consists of.

 

You have done nothing wrong. You are far too mature for her, and she is far too messed up for you or anyone for that matter. Imagine being with her forever...every time there's a little shake up she walks from the relationship? That's terrible and shows a huge lack of commitment on her part.

 

I would do no contact with her from now and move forward. You don't need this type of relationship in your life.

 

There are many really truly lovely women out there, looking for a nice, sensitive man like you. Before you go searching for her, it's time for some self-reflection:

 

Why did you find yourself attracted to someone so 'scattered' to begin with? Most people would have run flailing their arms at the first break up over something so ridiculous.

 

Why did you put up with her treatment for so long? Love isn't the only answer.

 

Hugs to you Spawn. You will be alright!

[ratherbesailing]

Spawn -

 

After my ex left I was absolutely amazed at how much better than her every woman I met seemed to be. I know nobody is perfect but when you fall into a rut for so long with one that is loaded with problems it makes the rest of them seem like angels. Try not to be afraid, there is someone else out there that is going to make you realize that your ex was a nut.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

Nice, mature women do exist out there Spawn. Your ex definitely isn't one of them. In time, you'll look at this as a blessing. Answer yourself honestly, could you really see yourself with a woman who's only way to deal is to lash out and break up with you when things get bumpy?

[Spawn]

the thing that baffles me is that she always put everythin in a very bad way like why would you want to be with a person like me, i am not a nice girl and stuff like i will screw up with my life and you go screw with urs.

 

I felt from the beginning that this girl needed some support and somebody who could love her without loosin faith in her, she was good academics wise but left college fearin failure in her last year, although she has never failed in any of her subjects.

 

itsok, thanks, i have been askin that question to myself for sometime now, why me? probably she being my first gf i gave her way too much importance in my life or probably the fear of loosin her over stupid reasons.

 

ratherbesailing, glad to know and thanks for sharin.

 

I think i got serious in the relationship way to soon....but next time i am gonna take sometime before really goin for it...but really speakin dunno how things are gonna work out.

 

I have started NC once again but she may call on my birthday, just to wish, she has a habit of talkin her mind so it might end up with things comin up from past. I might have to tell her to please stop it though. Hope she forgets my bday.

 

Lonelyinasmalltown, nope i really don't see a future with her.......i had this blind faith goin in me, probably somethin got better of it.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

It sounds to me that you're a very nice guy. I should know, I'm the same way. There's a problem with that though. Nice guys have a tendency to want to help too much. You wanted to be there for her and that's not a bad thing, but a lot of people's problems are ones that they have to work out alone. She's screwed up, that's for sure, no one else can fix her problems other than herself and only if she wants too. From what you said, it really doesn't seem like she ever wants to be a better person. All she has is excuses.

 

She's your first girlfriend, of course it will be hard to get over her. First loves are like that. Eventually though you'll realize that she actually did you a favor. You'll find a nice sane woman someday.

[Nathalie1970]

Spawn,

 

I wish my ex bf had been a nice guy like you. He never wanted to talk about the relationship unless it was to point out my faults or screw ups, he never took blame for anything, never said I'm sorry I made you cry, never brought flowers for no reason...etc...the list could go on. There are women out there who do want a guy who's nice and if you were so overwhelmed by emotion and had to cry wouldn't hold it against you. Contrary to popular belief "real men do cry".

 

Forget her, she doesn't seem worthy of you. I hope she doesn't call you on your birthday, but if she does do not answer, let her leave a msg.

 

Good luck to you.......

[Spawn]

Thanks Nathalie and Lonelyinasmalltown for those kind words......keep you people posted.

 

Cheers!