i'm super clingy and super angry!!!

[KrystalKF]

me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a year. he is 22 and i am 18. we both work full-time jobs and usually see each other for a few hours almost every day. most of my friends have boyfriends with whom they live with, or are permanently attached to their hip. so that leaves me with nothing to do on the weekdays.. so naturally, i expect to hang out with my boyfriend when he gets off work, which is normally a couple hours after i get off. but sometimes he gets mad and says he needs space, or wants to just have alone-time sometimes.. and that upsets me. sometimes during the weekends we don't hang out a lot just because we have different night-time ventures.

 

i know that i'm extremely clingy.. and i just don't know how to chill out. sometimes i'll do really good and go a couple of days without seeing him and just hang out with friends.. but other times i totally flip out when he says he wants to go over his mom's house or go up to work for a little while. he usually gives me an estimated time he'll be back (not because i ask.. just making conversation), but he almost always takes WAY longer and that pisses me off, too. it's so stressful that i get mad and upset over stuff like that, but i just can't help it. like i said, sometimes i'll do really good about those issues but it's not consistent. i don't have a lot of hobbies that i can do, especially in the winter. i'm not the type that likes to be by themselves. i really need help because i just want to be with my boyfriend. but if i continue to act this way i'm going to drive him away. i'm sure our age difference and maturity levels have much to do with the problem. but it seems like a lot of girls that i know, even ones that are much older, have similar problems to mine. he thinks i need to see a doctor or that we should both get counseling of some sort.. but i'm a bit hesitant about that.

[ocrob]

If he is willing to get counseling and you can afford it, then I think that is a good idea. I think it is good you recongnize that you are being clingy, but you have to do something about it. Sometimes people just need a little bit of alone time. If you smother him too much, then he will distance himself from you. If you give him more space and a little less attention, then you will find he wants to see you more and enjoy the time with him more.

[Drizown]

I'm in the same position as your boyfriend. I'm a very busy individual. SO when my boyfriend wants to spend time with me that's one thing.. but when he wants me to spend ALL my free time with him that's another thing. I have a life outside my boyfriend that's important to me, and sometimes I just want to spend my free time by myself relaxing. I've ended a few relationships because of this reason. Talk to him about how you feal and I'm sure he'll do the same.

[Caterina]

I don't think you are clingy, and its normal to be frustrated like that. What you need is someone who wants to spend as much time with you as you do with them...otherwise its just plain hurtful.

[therealshrek]

your boyfriend sounds a lot like my gf. its very frustrating when they choose school, work, and alone time over you. i feel ya.

[novaseeker]

Try to be less clingy. Being clingy (either for men or women) generally does not make one attractive. It's much more attractive if you have a balanced life of your own.

 

Relationships are there to complete an otherwise balanced, fulfilling life, not to be the sole "content" of your life. So try to spend more time with yourself and develop your life, enjoy your life, and enjoy the relationship as a *part* of that life, but not the only thing, such that you appear to be clingy, and get annoyed at your BF for having his own life.