I May Be Overreacting, But It Deals W/ Myspace...

[YouAndICollide]

My boyfriend and I have been going out since September, we met at the beginning of the school year and we've been going steady ever since, but we go to different schools and know different people.

 

I'm pretty busy so I hadn't had time to check out what the new craze on the net was, myspace, and my boyfriend told me to get one so he could show me off and I did. (this was Nov)

 

I haven't been able to check it lately, but I did on Friday and my boyfriend is quite the popular guy...and he gets all these comments from these girls who are pretty and they're saying stuff like, "Hey Baby, last night was fun, love you." and then he'd reply with an, "I love you." and there was another one about some girl wearing his shirt and he posts a lot of comments to girls saying things like, "You're so hot, you looked so hot tonight, you're beautiful, etc"

 

Don't get me wrong, it is the net, but I don't know these girls, and yes they are pretty, and yes I am jealous. He's supposed to be mine, and only tell me that he loves and I'm the only one who's supposed to be wearing his clothes....I mean cheating? It's jsut myspace, I keep telling myself that, but idk because we do go to different schools.

[mudpie]

how are the other girls wearing his shirt if it is just the internet?

[YouAndICollide]

What i mean is that they know each other in real life and all, but they're just saying it on the net...

[the yang to the worlds yin]

have you discussed this with him? personally, i don't think he's up to any good, and if he respected you, he wouldn't be saying such things to other women.

[RandomAdvisor]

Use the search function in the forums for "myspace" and you'll find nothing but bad news. Myspace is the devil. If there's one thing that I've learned in my time at eNotalone, it's that.

 

The impression that I get from reading all the myspace threads and watching my brother use it, is that it's more or less a de facto dating website. People (men and women) post half naked pictures of themselves, they flirt with each other, etc. etc.

 

I think you have a legitimate reason to be upset. I would be too if I were in your shoes. Flirting with people anonymously via the internet can be bad enough because it might lead to something more, but these are girls that he actually knows in person.

 

Before you let this eat away at you even more, I think you should discuss this with him in person. He can't control what these girls say to him, but he doesn't have to say things like "I love you" or "You're beautiful" back to them. Hopefully he will be understanding and change.

[annie24]

There are plenty of ways to be on myspace and just be friends with random people. Just like on eNotalone. We send each other PMs, but don't send stuff like, "hey baby you are so hot."

 

If my bf were doing that kind of stuff on myspace, he would promptly become my exbf. I don't want a guy who makes me wonder if it is joking flirtation or something more. Blah.

 

Tell him to make a choice: you or the myspace hussies.

[RayKay]

I don't think you are overreacting in the least bit - and I certainly would be feeling the same if I were in your position.

 

I am not on that site, though many whom are. Some are perfectly respectful of their partner's and boundaries, and only use it to contact friends, find people from high school and so on, but I certainly have seen a large number of people whom DO use it as a dating site, or to be inappropriate with others even if they are in a relationship.

 

I think as his girlfriend, you have every right to not expect him to be telling other girls he loves them, and thinks they are hot. Some people would consider this at the very least emotional cheating....I find it odd some other girl is wearing his shirt though, and makes me also question his commitment to this relationship by some of his comments to others.

 

I think you need to sit down with him, or write him a letter, or call him, and let him know how seeing those comments hurt you. If he does care, he will respect that, and show that in the future. If he doesn't, and tells you to live with it or it's "nothing" I think you need to decide whether this really is the guy for you or not. I can say there are great guys out there whom would be more respectfeul and take your feelings into consideration too. The problem with myspace is it's not "just online" as a lot of time these are people meeting and knowing one another in real life too (though even online it's not respectful or trustworthy behaviour!).