what should I do?

[22yearsbetweenus]

ok now this is going to be long and i need all the help i can get.

 

my fiance' and i have 22yrs diffrence btwn us im 17 hes 39 ok. we met at work wen i was 16 itold my fami was dating his 21yr old son. we were sooooo happy my fam found out flipped for a wk nw fine with it love him like family. now we fell in love within a month were insepratable. weve been together for 8 mths. 4 mths into the relationship he toldme he had 13 children. (OMFG) im a very mature women for my age i work finished school over the whole party scene. imthe youngest of 6. i loved him sooo mch i accepted the fact of his children n the fact that he lied tome about them. i asked him about baby mamma drama he said no! n the problems havent stopped!!! i work every day but sunday he work in the field sohe has no ste schudle we barley spend time together. i ask him to spend thenght with meon saturdays n 4 the past 4 mths something always comes up. only 1 of his baby mammas knowswere getting married n there are some ghetto women from bklyn. caused a lot of problems. i love him too much to let him go. he now get his kids every saturday so the moms can go out n get drunk and act stupid n he doesnt see it. now 2 kids 13 n 15 both girls have recently found him n they dont likemen i dont like them on the saturday that he said hell be w me the come form va. so now im screwed we cant stop arguing its likean everyday thinhg n we hate it!!! we cant be alone w/o his fone going off and his fam n kids ,baby mammas see him as an atm but me n they treat him like * * * * and hedont see it!!1

 

plz sumone help me!!!

[77streaks]

it doesn't sound like he is good for you. He's lied, and he doesn't make time for you. its a heavy commitment 13 kids!

 

perhaps both of you could go into relationship counselling before you get married. its not good to marry til you feel comfortable and safe with him.

once you are tied to him, you will be tied to his problems and the problems both of you have right now.

 

you're 17, you should date other guys if you are unsure. There are infinite possibilities. You deserve more, and you know it.

 

i hope this helps.

take care, and hope you feel better soon.

[Dako]

You plan to marry a guy with 13 kids and resent him being treated like an ATM machine by his children's mothers? Don't you think he should support his kids? I do.

You're annoyed by his burdens, but he created them and should deal with them. You're in over your head. Get away fom this guy before you become a babymamma begging at this particular ATM. Talk to those other women and find out how they were treated. You may be next.

[DN]

i agree with Dako. This guy is a walking disaster area for women and children - don't join the ranks of women who have been hurt by him.

[Confessoress]

I forsee this not having a very good ending.

 

Please, please for your own sake get out of this relationship. It's not good for you.

[RandomAdvisor]

plz sumone help me!!!

 

Help yourself and run as far away from this loser as you can. You really think you'll be able to spend the rest of your life with him? I'd bet good money the other 13 women thought the same thing. And how is it that his relationships with these women always fail even after he's had children with them?

 

I agree with Dako too. Get out while you still can, or you'll end up another baby moma.

[Jeremyg77]

yeah i dont think thats right he is almost 40 and your 17 thats kinda sick

[22yearsbetweenus]

i have no problem with him supporting his children i respect him or the fact that he does so. but my problem is that he doesnt see that their taking advantage of him. i dint have any problems with his kids and his baby mamma's. until one found out that we were getting married then they tried to say he was cheating and i looked into it and the days they said they were with him i was with him the whole day so i knew it was b/s. he has 6 baby mammas... the first one was arrested for burglary.. the second passed on.... the third was a one nite stand and he supports his kid and grandchild..one he waas wit 4 a while and then they just were not getting along.....and the one i have the prob. with screwd him when he went to jail for stupid * * * * with his bestfirend.......and the last one was his fiance' and when he got arrested again she sold all his cars and maxed out his card and spent all his money and that was before he had kids with her and when he got out he went back with her n then she told him that 1 kid wasnt his n he flipped n i would take to tem but all they want to do is fight so wats the point!!

[22yearsbetweenus]

You plan to marry a guy with 13 kids and resent him being treated like an ATM machine by his children's mothers? Don't you think he should support his kids? I do.

You're annoyed by his burdens, but he created them and should deal with them. You're in over your head. Get away fom this guy before you become a babymamma begging at this particular ATM. Talk to those other women and find out how they were treated. You may be next.

 

exactly hes being treated like an atm machine for their need not for his children..... she used his income tax money on clothes for her self and threw a party for herself and didnt buy his kids any thing. the other on dont bother as much so i have nada to say about that

[22yearsbetweenus]

i dont liv ein surbia i grew up farely quick and you have to be in the perdictimant to understand and thank you very much for you thoughts.

[Dako]

What you don't seem to care about is that he chose these women. He chose this life style. He made this situation.

Now you want to marry this guy knowing full well he can't manage his own life. I know this sounds mean and uncaring, but you should get away from this guy, but somehow I doubt you can.