Is there any way...

[moondog627]

You aren't making any progress because you're holding onto hope. Why do you want to be with someone that has NO DESIRE to be with you at all? The sooner you learn to let go the sooner you'll begin to heal. Sounds like you need to make a conscious effort of letting go. Try not to dwell on things too much and when you find yourself doing so remember that it's OVER. I would hope this last episode is the last time you contact her. However, given your past history and ignoring all the advice you receive, I'd say it's a pretty safe bet that you'll try to contact her again. In that case, you should just get it over with and contact her as often as you feel.

[keenan]

just an update for those who are interested and actually care to hear my stories of woe and misery,

 

yep, we care. promise.

 

My life sucks, I am just not happy anymore, and have not been for some time now. I don't know what I am goign to do anymore. Has anyone ever felt like they were just watching their lives pass them by slowly day by day? I feel like that all the time now. I am truly lost. I feel like an empty shell of a person just wandering around aimelessly going through the mondane day-to-day activities that I do n an everyday basis. Nothing changes, nothing gets better, things are stagnant.

 

yes. i have felt that way. right now i DO feel that way. i mostly believe that things get better because people here say they do, but it's really hard to believe them sometimes. i'm sorry that throwing your heart into the void didn't pay off. i know how it feels to need to hold onto hope, and how badly it hurts to try to let it go...and how absolutely terrible it is that hopes just oozes out slowly, over time. it's like a long illness (but hopefully not terminal).

 

dogg, can you take some time off from your regular routine? for example, can you take a few weeks off work, or a take leave of absense from school, and just throw you stuff in your car and take a road trip to someplace warm and sunny? could you visit some friends or relatives who live far away (in an interesting place) and who would let you bum around with them for awhile? or...you could get a temporary job that would let you eat, but cause less stress. ski resort? surf shop? something low-key but different, where the stress is minimal and the scenery and people are new. it might really help you break out of this gray and muddy rut. (i'm taking my own advice, fyi. am throwing my sh*it in my little VW and heading south for awhile. i'll let you know if it helps.)

[Dogg]

yeah, I wish that I could do that, but my current situation does not allow it. I am a first year sixth grade teacher and my students and the other faculty depend on me. Believe me I have thought about just packing up my sh*t and leaving, but I think that in the end, losing my job would just end up making things much much worse...thnxs for the advice and good luck to you on your journey...

[curlygirl47]

If you're reading the different threads, you'll see that I swerved off the NC road and into a ditch last night, and yet I am strangely relieved today with just a few scratches. It wasn't the end of the world to tell all to my ex. But my point to you is that I feel the same way you do, most of the time, wandering through a meaningless life in which I can't concentrate on my work, which I normally love, and I don't look forward to anything except seeing my daughter and my parents (about once a month) and getting drunk and sleeping. Nevertheless, there are occasional good moments, and we have to live for those right now. One hint: go see something beautiful, something that takes your breath away. Paintings in a museum, an ice sculpture, a garden, a fountain, the Cirque de Soleil, something. Beauty has a way of taking you somewhere else for a time.

[solo34]

Yes, Curly and Dogg, I feel that EXACT same way...It's like everyone else has a nice, happy, loving life. Yet we're stuck in this routine that just really hurts. Doing the SAME stuff day in and day out, without any meaning. The repetitive nature of the day 2 day sucks without a doubt. No matter what I do, it just isn't fun, because I have lost interest in the things that used 2 make feel a little better. I have 2 admit that I was doing "OK" until the night before Vday when I heard that my ex in fact has a new man in her life. I wish that my friend (who's her cousin) never told me that.

 

-Solo34