can a guy mess up to bad?

[zb]

Can a guy mess up to the point that there is no way of going out with the girl that he likes?

 

I met this girl at the start of the last school year.... and towards the end of the year I realized I liked her... I had just got out of a messy engagement as some of you know. Basically, I had this girl come over for a few drinks with her friends... and we watched a movie and once it was over I told her that I liked her..... well it turns out she liked me also... and in those three days we really hit it off.... we both saw each other as possible life mates.... because neither one of us date for fun... we only date potential mates...... we got really close, really fast.... and then the school year was over.

 

She went on a trip... and then when she got back about three weeks later I called her and she said she no longer wanted to date, she broke up with her boyfriend just a few days prior to getting home... so I was expecting her to still want to go out... we kind of were at that point... but she backed out.... I kept bringing it up and I eventually pissed her off.... then things smoothed over and I messed up again by bringing "us" up to much.... I called a little to much and wrote her a little to much... I was not thinking at the time.......... then things smoothed out and I messed up again..... and since then she has contacted me, and I have not tried to contact her outside of letting her know that I changed the email account that I use.

 

in her last email she said I am the nicest guy she has ever known, and she is just not ready for that yet.... and that I deserve alot of care that she does not think she can provide............ she was attracted to me because of my strength...... and it is like once she saw my soft/weak side.... I don't know if it turned her off or if she thinks that I would end up being to needy, which is not the case............. but basically...............

 

Is there a way for me to get a second chance with her... I mean have been laying off........ not contacting her.......we have a month or more before school starts and she is back... so I just wonder if I should wait to see if anything happens....... or if it sounds like a lost cause........ my heart says wait....... but the longer I wait the more I will get hurt in the end.

 

I mean what should I do once school starts...... should I just invite her over, friend like......... or should I not contact her and then send an anonymous flower or something and see if she contacts me?

 

I mean if she was so very attracted to me... to the point that she was wanting to go out with me... shouldn't those feelings come back once she is around me again next year? I guess alot of guys asked her out last year and she turned them all down point blank.... so I am the only guy at the school that she is interested in in this way.... but she just feels like she does not want to be in any relationship right now... she does not want to put up with it.............. I respect what she decided, but I find it very unfortunate that she does not take a risk on me...............

 

what should I do?

[raggamuffin]

Ok it sounds as though you have been given more that a second chance, and I think you actually answered your own question when you said "she just feels like she does not want to be in any relationship right now" if she doesnt want to be in a relationship with you just offer her friendship, thats all you can do and she will really appriciate that.

[j-boe]

Stop trying to win her... Easily done. Just be her friend and move on. If she feels the way you said she does then she'll come back.

 

BUT A GUY CAN MESS UP TOO BAD, or in other words push her further away from you...

 

I've done it before!

 

-j

[foreverurz23]

i would invite her over just a friendly matter! it never hurts to do that, she sounds just like that she got hurt over something really bad and now she is scared to make a commitment again. if something is ment to happen in the future than it will.

good luck.

~foreverurz23~

[Libson]

Hi,

 

From the sound of things I don't think that you have messed up too badly. I think it sounds like you have a chance if you can take things slowly.

 

You have a very serious attitude to your relationships, which can be a real asset, but there are lots of stages to something like this. Since you got to know each other so quickly, I think you need to spend time just as friends and really find out if you could love each other. This is definetely not something to rush into.

 

Finding someone to love is the easy part. The hard part is letting someone love you, letting someone in. It takes time and knowledge of each other.

 

Good luck - let us know how it goes.