AntiLove_SuperStar Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 I saw my boyfriend yesterday afternoon and he dropped me home this morning - he found out yesterday morning that his dad has around a week to live. A week. Not a couple of months or so as originally thought...but a week. His dad has just had his 51st birthday, he was at work a month ago...I can't believe it. I said Id do whatever was best for him (my boyfriend) and he said he'd like it if I stayed with him last night so I did...we spent such a weird night talking then not talking (just holding him) and watching a trashy movie as a distraction and at one point we both woke up from dozing and started to make out for a bit then I both think we remembered why we weren't in bed like usual (we were on the sofa), etc... I stand by my decision to be strong and work on me so I can be best gf possible as he's going through sh*t but I had to get this out, I feel so so sad..but at least he still wants to see me, right? That means that at least he really trusts me and stuff? Ive come home and worked out for an hour, just having a coffee..going to sleep..going to ice hockey game later with friends..but..its so awful. Thanks for listening Link to comment
steff Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 omg, im so sorry to hear about that. yes it does mean that he trust you, because he wants you to be there for him. this is the most important time for you to be there for him if he wants it. be strong for him, and hopefully he will be okay. Link to comment
Cooperstown Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Be there for him, your doing the right things, be there when he needs you most because when it happens he will be wreck and he will NEED someone to hold and support him. Research the poem walking in the sands" good stuff. Link to comment
DN Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Be there to support him and realise that he will be feeling many emotions including anger, sadness, loss and fear. He may sometimes be difficult with you so bear in mind that it is not personal and try not to be hurt. Link to comment
fishrrshortae Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 I want to add a little bit here too He might also at times withdraw from you a little bit .. give him space if he does .. it really sounds like he loves you, he wanted you there with him at night. Please also be mindful of how you spend your time w/o him.. ordinarily I wouldnt say this, but special circumstances I think might dictate that you make yourself available no matter where you are or what you're doing. Just something to consider, it would suck if something happened and your bf needed to reach you and couldn't. Really sorry about this .. I can't even imagine what that must be like, for both of you. Good luck and take care! Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted February 5, 2006 Author Share Posted February 5, 2006 Thank you everyone for your replies. Just taking everything a day at a time right now. Link to comment
Tigris Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 I've been in the same position as your bf and I know how important it is to have somebody there just for you. Yes it's hard when someone you love is dying of cancer. I was ok at first because I built an invisible wall around myself to protect me from the hurt. Why? Because my family were relying on me to hold the family together and make all the arrangements afterwards because my Father wasn't in good health to do anything. Unfortunately, one day near the end when my Mother was very ill she put her hand out for me to hold. As soon as I touched it the wall fell down and I began to sob. I felt someone's arm around my shoulder and turned presuming it was my husband and discovered it was a nurse. I'm pleased your bf can rely on you. He'll go through alsorts of emotions. Just be aware of what he needs at the time, e.g. sometimes it'll be cuddles, sometimes he'll want to talk about the good times, other times it could be guilt he's feeling although he's done everything he could, sometimes he'll want to be alone, etc. He may even have to be like me and put his own feelings on hold until everything is organised. I know it's going to be a strain on you but I promise you it'll get easier as the weeks pass. Take care of each other. Link to comment
perfectliljewel Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 im sooo sorry. i know its hard on you as well, him wanting you to be there for him is a HUGE sign of trust. i hope everything turns out ok. its a great thing to have some one to hold you when you feel like that or even if its something smaller. take care good luck Link to comment
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