Can I get sum help plez...

[gunnersfc9]

Hey to all, I've sorta posted this before but it was under a different section of this forum... and only 1 person replied to my question. Come on folks I really need sum help with this...

 

So yeah, me and Girl L have gone out twice (basically passed the 1st date phase already), we chat on the phone for lengthy periods, she introduced me to some members of her family, mentioned me in her blog, her body language was positive when we hungout, and there was good chemistry between us. Then over the Christmas break, she tells me she's goin on a vacation to San Francisco for 2 1/2 weeks with her family to visit her sister. I didn't think too much of it cos everybody goes on vacations. Anyways, she gets back from the place and doesn't reply to my short email to her, an SMS I sent to her phone, or even answer my phone call with this all happening over a 10-day period. I kinda stopped trying to contact her after this 10-day period cos I just thought it made me look all desperate and needy about her and also cos I thought she maybe needed sum "space".

 

BUT, a week or so ago, I saw her at College, and as I was passing her in the Coll halls she made the first move to smile and say "Hey" to me (Is she giving me false hope by doing this? Playing mind games perhaps?). When I was already planning on ignoring her because of her exceptionally cold, mean, and immature actions since she came back from San Fran (But could I be making too much of the situation?). So yeah I'm already confused as hell at this point already cos if she's already ignoring me with all other modes of communication, why doesn't she just ignore me also when she "knows" I'm around? Anyways, my question to all of you is whudduya think happened (sum of my friends think she's got her heart set for SanFran cos she's moving there in August)? I'm also probably gonna see her next week for some College event and I thought I'd give her a lil taste of her own medicine by ignoring and acting cold towards her when I see her... but I'm also not sure if i want to stoop that low and be all childish & immature in my actions towards her at the sametime...

 

Sorry for the length of my post but I really, really, really need sum help with this matter. Thanks in advance for the help...

[pashmak]

why don't you just ask her why she was ignoring you? maybe she has a decent reason. communicating with her is better than thinking about a bunch of what ifs.

 

she might be a moody person. maybe she really needed that space, you know. maybe she just didn't feel like it. Maybe something personal happened that you don't know about. but whatever it is, you'll never know for sure unless you confront her about it. and I think you're making too much of a big deal out of this and over-analyzing a bit. after all, you've only gone on two dates, so technically she doesn't have any commitment to you to answer all your calls and texts.

 

just talk to her about it. do you like playing games?! because you wanting to "give here a lil taste of her own medicine" sound like you just want to continue on with playing the game (IF she is playing any games).

[lunatic]

why don't you just ask her why she was ignoring you? maybe she has a decent reason. communicating with her is better than thinking about a bunch of what ifs.

 

I agree with Pash with this statement. You will never know if you don't ask so stop fooling around and ask her. She does not owe you anything and maybe you have been coming on too strongly.

[Tigris]

Don't play immature games, just talk to her about it.

 

Good luck.

[Darketernal]

I would just ask her if she likes you, if she turns red that would say enough lol. But there's no other way then actually asking her out to date her, sometimes people put on masks to delude other people in what they are really thinking. She seems she might have had more feelings for you then she was willing to admit on the spot, if i where you id just ask her out, if she says no you can move on with your life, if she says yes you got a date.

[gunnersfc9]

thanx folks for da replies... but like i mentioned before, I'm still contemplating on how to act around/towards her come next week cos, though I understand she doesn't owe me nuthin, I still found her actions quite uncalled for cos of her recent actions and disappointed of the false hope she kinda gave me leading up to her trip to SanFran... I also thought by acting cold to her it'd be the only way I can get closure (not playing mindgames) with this matter cos she seems to not want to say or do anything bout da situation...

 

But yeah... folks I have tried to talk, message, and email her over the previously mentioned 10-day period. But she totally ignored all of my approaches and never acknowledged any of them... It's also been like 1-2 weeks since we talked or had any interaction with each other, so I feel that it'd be weird/awkward if I just started talking to her again over sumthin that happened quite awhile back (also cos I don't wanna seem desperate or needy towards her)...

[Tiger206]

What do YOU want? If you like her, then talk to her... in person, not via text message or email. If you don't like her, move on. Many people have different patterns of behavior... she might just be unable to manage her time well, she might have met somebody else, there is no way to know unless you ask her. But it kinda sounds to me like she is not interested, but is too childish to tell you directly... unfortunalty the childish types are sometimes also the carefree happy go lucky types that attract so many of us...

[AwdreeHpburn]

If you're looking for advice on how to "play" her to get her interested - then confuse her by alternating flirting and ignoring. That's what got you hooked.

 

OR, act like you don't care what she's doing. Act like it didn't affect you at all. Girls hate that. If she's trying to get to you and you act like she didn't, that'll drive her to action.

 

On the other hand, if you are just curious about what she's thinking, ask her. If she's unclear, unsure or still playing games, move on. I mean actually. That'll get to her too.

 

OR - you could let her know how YOU feel, what YOU want and what YOUR expectations are. Put the ball in her court. She'll know what to do. If she's unclear, unsure or still playing games, move on.

[PocoDiablo]

Here's my take on it:

 

So yeah, me and Girl L have gone out twice (basically passed the 1st date phase already), we chat on the phone for lengthy periods

I stopped reading right here (okay, not really but...) because you friendzoned yourself here. Talking on the phone is not what men and women do together, it's what girlfriends do. You need to get off the phone and in front of her face. By talking on the phone you basically didn't see her, she felt like you didn't like her (unless you were having phone sex!) and so now she is moving on.

 

she gets back from the place and doesn't reply to my short email to her, an SMS I sent to her phone, or even answer my phone call with this all happening over a 10-day period. I kinda stopped trying to contact her after this 10-day period cos I just thought it made me look all desperate and needy about her

GOOD. That was a good move.

 

and also cos I thought she maybe needed sum "space".

Yup, she's moved on.

 

BUT, a week or so ago, I saw her at College, and as I was passing her in the Coll halls she made the first move to smile and say "Hey" to me (Is she giving me false hope by doing this? Playing mind games perhaps?).

No, like all women she is just being nice. You should be nice, too, but not spend more than 1-2 minutes talking to her, make no dates or attempts to spend time with her, and move on to someone else.

 

I thought I'd give her a lil taste of her own medicine by ignoring and acting cold towards her when I see her... but I'm also not sure if i want to stoop that low and be all childish & immature in my actions towards her at the sametime...

No, you don't want to do that. Be a gentleman, be polite, but excuse yourself and go talk to some other people. Be the better MAN.

 

And, in response to the other advice her, I *sure* as heck would not "talk" to her about it. What, are you in therapy already? That's overly seriously, boring, and plain pathetic. You "talk" about issues after you've been dating for a few months.

 

So move on with a smile and good luck!