made some progress, but still sad.

[deejay74]

well, i guess i should be happy that i have made some progress. i think it's finally sunk in that my ex isn't coming back to me and i have finally accepted the break up - for now. i am not so sure if tomorrow, or sometime this week, i will relapse or not but the last couple of days i feel i have made some steps forward.

 

even though i am happy i made some progress i am still sad. i am sad my ex is no longer in my life and i still miss her a great deal. i am now thinking about what she's doing and who she's doing it with and what she's thinking. i am able to block those thoughts occasionally but they keep popping in.

 

i finally blocked her from my AIM although i've done that before and unblocked her in hopes that she'd IM me, but she never does. i am going to try and go a whole week w/o unblocking her. also, the last time i spoke to her she said everything is cool between us, meaning that we're friends, but she hasn't contacted me (this was only 6 days ago). i am going to stick with NC and i feel strong that i can do it indefinitely. i only broke NC once since the break up anyway just so i could get some things off my chest and get some closure.

 

she's also on my friendster and myspace lists but i don't want to delete her from those but the temptation to look at her profile is great. the only thing is, she's been logging into friendster on a daily basis and when we were going out, she hardly went on at all. so it's been making me wonder what's going on with her.

 

anyway, i am just venting. i hate this feeling of profound sadness and the feelings of missing her.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Stick to your plan and keep on going. Everyone who experience break up has the same feeling as you. Don't worry, many people get over it, so could you.

[kellbell]

Hi there!

 

I am so sorry about your break-up. Big hugs. I have been following your posts and I know this has been very hard for you. Break-ups, no matter whom is the dumper or the dumpee are very hard for different reasons.

 

I have to say you are hanging in there as well you possibly can. It is important for you to experience all the emotions in order for you to heal properly. There are five stages of grief that a person normally goes through. They are denial, depression, anger, barginning, and acceptance. There really is not any particular order in which a person experiences these stages and one can revert to one stage to another at any given time. The important thing is instead of "stuffing" these feelings, it is essential to experience all of the emotions.

 

There really is not any magic words or potions that will make you feel better or make this go away...expect give it time. I know how bad you want to fast forward though all this mess and feel normal again but unfortunately, it does not work this way. Sometimes it takes pain and heartache in order to grow, become stronger, and learn. Then you will be that much stronger and wiser in your future relationships.

 

Keep posting here. Vent, talk, whatever it takes. We are all here for you and know what you are going though. One day at a time my friend. Big hugs and take care.

[healinginnyc81]

hey, I agree with kellbell that you're doing really well considering your situation. It's really tough to deal with losing a best friend and it's really tough dealing with all the anxiety and wondering what she's doing.

 

The sadness also is something I think will last for a while. Re-creating your life without her is a slow process. I have yet to go for more than an hour without feeling sad and it's been two months. But it will get better. You've accepted that it's time to move on, that's a huge step. Keep going.

[mj2503]

I know what you mean, I feel so desperate sometimes, I have not begged him but almost to give us another chance. Imagine he is seeing someone else now and sleeping with her. He tells me he still loves me and there is no spark with her but she is there and I am not.

 

Good for you for not having contact.

*hugs*

[red10]

I know it's hard, I'm going through a rough time too, and there are moments when I feel like I'm fine, I can do this - I have to accept it's over and he left me for someone else - anyway, i know what your going through and how you feel one minute, and the next it's like the world just crumbled around you feet....this forum has helped me, and just by reading others posts i have confidence that we can all get through these tough times - it just takes time!

 

the NC is great to do - sooo difficult, but as everyone else says, it's for you - and only you - so stick with it and i will try to as well!

[gratefulpain]

i dont have any wrods of wisdom but i feel your pain if that helps... i will say a prayer tonight that you get through this fast......