How fast is too fast

[hammo]

I have been going out with a girl "officially" for three days now. We are both abouth a month away from turning 18. She is my first girlfriend ever. We knew of each other for 7 years, became close frinds about a month ago, and have been going out for 3 days. I really like her and i know she really likes me. she tells me she gets goosebumps averytime i touch her. Also when i told her she was the first girl i ever kissed (she's had two boyfriends before me) she said "she's having trouble beleiving it because i'm amazing". She is a virgin and a bit of an "innocent christian girl" (although i'm beginning to doubt just how innocent she really is)

 

We have spent the last three nights (since we started going out) together.

The first night after a movie we were cuddling together on her couch and this is when we said that were going to be boyfriend/girlfriend. Other than cuddling, i kissed her once on the cheek.

The next day she kept texting me how she misses me and wants me to hold her forever.

 

Night 2:She came over the next evening. We were cuddling on the couch again and watching a dvd. Halfway through the film we said that we're sleepy and that the movie was getting boring. I turned off the light and the tv, and i turned my face towards hers, and we kissed straight away. It was my first kiss ever. It was crazy. I thought you're meant to take it slow at first on the cheek etc. but we were basically rolling around for two hours or so with our tongues in each others mouths.

We then decided the couch was uncomfortable and we lay down on my bed, made out and i started kissing her on the neck and shoulders.

Now i thought as i said above that she was a "innocent christian girl" so i was surprised when she let me put my hands under her bra and down her underwear. Basically the only place i didn't touch or kiss her that night was between her legs. Her nipples got very hard when i licked them as far as i know thats a good thing. We were fully clothed the whole time though. Whenever i put my hands anywhere like on her breasts she resisted a little but then let me, although after a while she would pull my hands away and hug me.

 

Night 3: last night she had a party at her house. Near the end of the night a few people decided to stay including me. We all lay down to sleep. We lay on the floor under a blanket, and kissed keeping it quiet though cos there were people around. I tried to reach down between her legs over her clothes but she would pull my hands away and start tickling me. I did reach up her bra and everything again. She seems to quite enjoy it. She also always giggles and pokes and tickles me while we're kissing.

 

The question is am i doing things right? It seems fine, but i don't know if we're not moving too quickly. I enjoy it a lot and i think she does too. Any suggestions or ideas would be welcome.

[loz2k29]

All I can say is if you are both enjoying it, it feels right and you are being safe (taking precautions etc.) then I think it is fine. It could only be seen as 'too fast' by other people but if you don't care what they think then carry on.

 

Be safe though! Good luck

[smilelikeyoumeanit]

I would say yes, you're moving way too fast. Please don't think i'm making fun of you here, because i'm not, but it seems as if you're trying to make up for what you think you should have been doing in the past. It's almost like now that you're finally with someone you like and feeling everything for the first time, you're getting a bit greedy and wanting to experience everything and anything as quickly as you can. You might be afraid to loose such a good thing. I think you have to ask yourself if you're doing this becasue you really like and respect her, or because she is the first girl that showed interest (again, i'm really not trying to insult you). I would say it is possible that you were waiting for the right girl, but since you are acting the way you are, it really doesn't appear that you are. But for all i know this could be your way of showing you care. You're new at this, and you could think that this is the way u care, by becoming really intimate really quickly. I also have to tell you that you were right, you are supposed to take things slowly (e.g a peck on the cheek the first night and so on). That's what you're supposed to do with a girl you really like and respect. As for the thing you said about not being so sure if she really is as innocent as she appears, I have only one question for you. If you're moving this quickly, do you really want to become intimate withg a girl that's lying to you? I'm sorry to tell you that there is no way a good little Christian girl practically jumps you the second night, especially if you were as close as you said and if she knows your history. She should have been gentle and let things progress slowly. I hope this helps a bit.

 

(p.s. This is my first time writing on this thing and I'm jsut wondering if i'm any good. i only signed on because i wanted advice about this guy but i ended up giving adivce... funny, that karma)

[Kaia]

I've had the same question about my relationship so I tend to agree with loz, it is not too fast if you two are both comfortable with it. You can ask her if she thinks you are moving too fast too.

 

As for "innocent christian girl", she did pull your hands away several times didn't she? So I think she wasn't fully expecting what you two were doing either. But I think so far so good, you've stopped when it crossed her comfort zone, and she isn't too shy to hold you back. Just ask her if she is comfortable with what you're doing and if she enjoys it. If she says yes then you have nothing to worry about.

[hammo]

Yea the first time i slowly put my hands down the back of her underwear, i asked if she's alright with where my hands are, and she said that if she "didn't like it she would have told me".

When it comes to being comfortable, like i said we both spend half the time giggling and laughing, i don't feel nervous at all doing these things, and i do them very slowly so she has time to react to anything she doesn't like. She seems to also not be nervous and seems to have a lot of fun and get really turned on. I remember her heart beating very quickly very loudly and she commented that it's because she likes me so much.

I might ask her next time i'm getting intimate with her if she thinks we're moving too fast.

And yes i was partially waiting for the right girl, i've had quite a few options over the last two or so years, but she's the first girl that seems just "right".

We have no problems with communication, and i feel like i could tell her absolutely anyhing.

 

Thanks for the replies.