I can honestly say I have had enough

[seally]

Hi

I'm 19 and been at university since September. I am so alone. I have no family another then my mum and no real friends. Trouble is I went to uni stupidly thinking I would meet ppl and I have made NO real friends. I have a couple of people I hang out with a couple of times a week but nothing major. I have no real friends back home either, they have all stabbed me in the back and guess what I said.. NOTHING. I let them do it. The few (and I mean very few times) I have answered back they stopped talking to me for a few days and I have felt even more alone. I hate the way my life has gone, I keep seeing and hearing about the old school 'friends', ex's and people in general who are generally nasty evil people and yet they seem to have all the friends in the world. They seem happy, why can't I ever be.

 

All I have is my bf who is great but not enough. I want a life outside him as well. As sick as it sounds if he ever left me I don't no what I'd do, I'd have no one. Except all I do is drive him away - I'm so bitter about having noone in my life I take it out on him. I don't understand why the people who bullied me in school seem to have masses of mates and are happy yet I'm still waiting for my first one. It is affecting my uni work (gone from A and B's to C, D's and E's)

 

I don't no what to do. I'm always making an effort, asking whether they wanna go out etc but nothing in return. All I am is sad all the time. I have had enough, why can nothing go right for me for a change?

 

Thanks for listening

[sweetheart230]

Start getting involved in activities. Take classes that interest you. It was hard for me to make friends. Sometimes it still is. One thing I've noticed is when you're sad and depressed, people sense it and it kind of pushes them away. You shouldn't be so dependent on your boyfriend, although its great that you have someone.

 

There have to be school activities you'd enjoy. At my school, there weren't any, but I started taking classes that I really liked, such as acting and studio art classes. I made friends in those classes. Maybe find a job as well. I mean I don't have a ton of friends, but I'm happy. Being happy is sort of a state of mind.

 

And by the way, my only family is my mom also, and I really only have one friend from back home who is very mean to me sometimes and always brags about how tons of guys want her all the time (while I was sitting alone getting over a bad relationship, by the way). I get frustrated with it, too. But the most important thing I've learned, is if you're happy and doing things you love and enjoy, things happen very naturally. Just relax, do things that make you happy and the rest will come. Trying too hard just makes you pissed off. Also, start working harder in school. It makes you feel better about yourself when you get good grades, and will give you something to concentrate on other than yourself and what is bad about your life.

[Alabama]

An excellent way to make friends is to try to join clubs or do something that can make you active in a social setting. It's important to also attempt to talk to people you might not know. This can be hard, especiall if you're shy, but it worth the attempt nonetheless. Don't give up! Eveyrone has trouble at times making friends, but it's not impossible. All you have to do is try.

[mgirl]

I find it takes at least one year to make friends at Uni. You have to be in the same class as a few people 1 or 2 years in a row, before you become friendly. I did not make good friends until my 3rd year of Uni, and my sister didn't either.

[Itsok]

Completely agree with joining clubs. That is where I met basically all my friends, and haven't kept in contact with anyone from high school at all!

[mgirl]

Really? What sort of clubs have you joined?

[Bored2]

I'm in a situation similar to yours, but mine is worse off. This is my second year at university, and I have no one. I have literally never hung out with anyone outside of classes, and though I have many friendly acquaintances, I have no friends. (Of course, I've also never been out on a date, so I have no girlfriend.) My life literally consists of sleeping, eating, watching TV, reading the news on the Internet, and going to class. (Besides the last one, all occur in my dorm room). Granted, I am a participant in severals clubs, both of the academic and social nature, but that doesn't seem to help. In fact, I do whatever the average literature suggests that I do to make friends, but nothing helps. There's nothing overtly wrong with me either physically or mentally, so I don't understand what my problem is. I look around and see that everyone has friends to an extent (including the topic creator), and it makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. I am so lonely that I am usually on the verge of crying on Friday and Saturday nights, when I am sitting alone in my room watching TV (as I will likely do tonight). I don't want the rest of my life to be like this, but I have a suspicion that it will. Does anyone have any (non-cliched) suggestions?

[LIFE]

^^Maybe you should find people who have the same interests as you. What do you like to do? If you like to work out, ask one of the people you know to go work out with you or something like that. You don't need a lot of friends...you only need about 2 or 3 real friends to be there for you. Forget about all the other stuff.