Which is worst??

[Buttercup_cakez]

Denifitely there is never an excuse for cheating, I have always thought that was one of the most despicable thing one can do, but now I dunno wut to think. I was wondering which is worst, which one of the cases: 1) You getting cheated on and how it feels to be betrayed or case 2) You're the one doing the cheating and see how it hurts ur partner.

Well see, this is from both experience, from my first b/f that it's already been a llong time I broke up, simple reason, he had a make out session, worst thing was me finding out from one of my friends and when I confronted him he denied it until I find the phone number, call that girl and she tells me that yes they had a make out session, but nothing went further. Off course he had begging afterwards and apologizing but no, I dump him right away. I wonder still till this day wut it would be like if he had told me himself, but no, at the time, I use to think bad about cheaters. Then comes my second relation, in which, in this case it was the other way around, me actually doing it, it was a making-out session with some guy I met online. I told him that I had a b/f afterward and left. Told my b/f right away, that's the diff, I told it myself. Off course he was hurt, and yet thought he say he would work it out, I say no, that he was better off without me, I was like "No, there is no excuse for wut I did, you should move on, don't take me back, don't, bye" Till this day I dunno wut to think of myself anymore. Now I'm currently in a relationship but at times still think about wut I did.

[Vanilla]

the important thing is you recognize what you did was bad, and you have remorse for it. I myself dont condone cheating, and I think you have done the right thing.

 

It happened and yes it was not a good thing, but you have learned from it. Dont beat yourself up so much over it, just make sure YOU never do that again and time will take care of the rest.

 

as far as who is it worse for...well it all depends...so many cheaters out there dont see anything wrong in what they do, some regret it...but the people who get cheated on ALWAYS hurt...so I think its worse to get cheated on.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

I didnt read the whole thing but about which is better : Cheat or cheated on..

 

I prefer to be cheated on. I know it sounds silly but think about it that way.. You cheat = you did something wrong..

 

you cheated on = you are right..

 

I know cheated on hurts more but but from the moral side a person should prefer to be cheated on than to cheat on someone..

 

And in case you cheated on someone, You should regret what you did and never do it again.. If you did this, you are a new clean women.

[locolady]

Cheated on definitely! If youre the cheat, no matter what excuses people give, you didnt love the person you cheated on. thereforeeee the pain of the relationship being over doesnt apply the same. The person that started this thread (sorry ive forgotten your name and cant see it now!) i am absolutely shocked that after being cheated on yourself and experiencing the pain of it - you went on to do the same to a new relationship....why didnt you learn the first time? I'm struggling after my bf of 4 years fooling around with a girl - 3 months on i still feel sick and dont know how i'll ever trust anyone again - i know without a doubt i'd never do this to anyone. If you love someone, or even vaguely care for them, cheating wouldnt be an issue - cheaters shouldnt play the remorse card - you werent thinking about your bf/gf at the time you were with someone else so why bother pretending afterwards to care that youve hurt them by it?

[coollady1957]

I am trying to figure out how to word this so that it comes out right so here goes.....as far as the worst thing that some one could do ,would to be the cheater , and sure the cheater may "see" the pain they caused but they can never truly feel the pain of being cheated ON . But as far as feeling the hurt and the pain, i feel that the pain felt is the worst when you have been cheated on. I have expericenced being cheated on but have never been the cheater.

[Buttercup_cakez]

[you werent thinking about your bf/gf at the time you were with someone else so why bother pretending afterwards to care that youve hurt them by it?

 

Yes, you are right on that one. I clearly say on the beginning of my thread that there never is an excuse for cheating. When I did it, I felt just as bad as when I got cheated, prossibly more. I felt so low, it was like I went against all I been thought, that when I even told my folks and friends about it, they were shock, they were like "Wut happened to you, you're not that type of person I knew, this isn't you". As much as he wanted to take me back, I rejected it and told him to move on, that he's better off without me. No, I wasn't expecting him to feel sorry for me nor was I beginning. I can't imagine how it would have been still being with him and living with that reminder of wut I did and seeing him hurt over and over, thereforeeee I think breaking up was the best thing. As of now I'm in a current new relation, this is my third. No, I'm not ever cheating again, not will I forgive him if he cheats, he would be out.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Let me put it this way: would you rather get shot or stabbed? Either way, it hurts like a beeoch.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

I do have a question. Why did you put yourself in that situation in the first place? From the way I read it, it sounded like you wanted to break up with your boyfriend. He wanted to try but you wouldn't allow that. You basically made up his mind for him.

 

Yes, it was wrong, and to answer your initial question, I think it's worse to be cheated on. The bretrayal is heartwrenching, I know, I've been there. I do applaud you for coming clean about it right away, but like I said, I got the feeling that you wanted to leave your boyfriend anyway. This was a pretty good excuse.

 

I may be way off though.

[xprincessbugx]

I can't even imagine what it'd be like to be cheated on. That's one of my biggest fears in a relationship because honestly, it'd kill me. I just wouldnt be able to deal with someone I loved cheating on me. It's just so damaging. You'd think since you'd been cheated on that you would understand how that felt and wouldn't want to do that to anyone else. Guess I'm wrong?

[yeawutever]

It's worst getting cheated on than u being the cheater. Reasons: u love that person and don't think they'll ever cheat and when they do, it hurts u, but in the case of being the cheaters, have cheaters don't regret it and keep doing it, some don't care, while the one who was cheated on did care about u. In ur case, I'm surprise u did it thought u were cheated on, but ok at least u realize it was a mistake, that's good, some cheaters don't care.

[controverseau]

Oh drear, I would never like to be in any of those situation, but if I were top choose which one I preferred would be getting cheated on cuz in that case I did nothing wrong, but if it was me as the cheater, I wouldn't know wut to do, I wouldn't be able to live with it.

[annieo]

I think being cheated on has to be the worst. I felt like my world was turned upside down. It's like you are living your life and you find out nothing was really as you thought it was and the person you trusted most in your life was not at all who you thought they were. I have forever lost the solid security I once had.

The cheater may feel bad, horrible even but they never had to find out they were living in the dark.

[coollady1957]

Annieo, i couldnt have said it better. Agreed 100% .

[jeepers_creepersal]

I'm surprise that u urself know how it feels to be cheated on and yet do the same thing to ur other ex. Usually if a person gets cheated on, they have knowledge of how it would affect the SO if they do it themselves. The good thing I can say is u say it urself there is no excuse, that's good, most fo them give nothing but excuses. Getting cheated on is worst, boy if my fiance does it, I with the most cynical smile in my face would be like saying "Guess wut, u blew it and ur gone for good now".

[Caterina]

Maybe you are living out some sort of sick revenge type thing against men for what one man did to you? Either way, its wrong to cheat.