Talk about Warning Signs....

[BabyGirl_1]

Okay, since I've found this website I've noticed that I can depend on everyone for their honest opinions(which I really appreciate)so here goes. Along with all the other problems in my life, my family has never really been the type to express our feelings to one another and in a way, we are (in a way) split in half by my mother and father. I have three sisters and one brother, my father has his favorite, my sister that is the second youngest and my mother has her favorite, which are my brother and my oldest sister. My sister that is the second oldest and myself pretty much stands alone. Well...a year ago things got even worst. My sister (the second oldest) noticed that her two year old daughter was very red and complained about pain in her private area when she bathed. With a bit of investigation she found out that my nephew put his private part inside her. Hurt, confused and angry my sister went over to speak with my oldest sister and her husband (my nephew's parents) about the situation to see what to do about it. The next week my nephew was out playing sports as if nothing ever happened. My oldest sister and my mother persuaded my second oldest sister not to take her daughter to the doctor. They did not want the doctor to ask how it happened and end up contacting the proper authorities (which is what I wanted). Now a year has passed and no one has told my brother about it even though he has a daughter, and no one has punished him or brought the situation back up. My mom and sister works together to cover it up. Recently, tension has been building up more because my oldest sister allows my nephew to play with girls and expects my second to the oldest sister to be okay with the fact that my nephew hugs and kisses on my niece. What is wrong with her? What does she expect! Anyway, new-years eve my oldest sister's house burned down due to my nephew, he was playing with fireworks in the house. Should I not be smiling about this? I see it as only the beginning, I am curious of what he is going to do next. Of course, they tried to hide the fact that he did it and the same night he popped fire works and is back to playing sports. My nephew is great when it comes to sports and I believe they think he may be famous one day and that is why they will not pull him out of sports or really discipline him. What should I do? Continue to sit back and watch and allow them to have this gag order on myself and everyone else? Or should I speak up and make something happen?

[honeyspur]

I sense that your family really is in denial of the severity of this problem.

Unfortunately, if they are in denial, you may have to be prepared to speak up and not get the response you want.

The reason this is important is because, over time, what you say will sink in. They may have to sit with your words for a long time in order to come to some understanding. I know people in my own family who thought the things I went through, were just "childish games" that we would outgrow. Or "curiosity" - that was a big one.

 

However, a lot of sex offenders start out "light" as youngsters and because it's never caught in time, they develop into serious criminals.

You might be doing more than protecting your niece. You might be saving your nephew too. If no one takes action over this, he may grow up thinking somehow it's ok. That he is a "special" case because he was always let off the hook.

Something is up with your nephew too and I am inclined to think something may have happened to him and he is beginning a pattern.

 

Be brave like you are right now, telling this story and take a stand. It is no wonder these things go unnoticed. If it's all about "protecting the family" - then the priorities are unclear.

Good luck with this - your instincts are valid.

[LiquidCherry]

How old is your nephew? Is he still a child? The reason I ask is because children who sexually abuse other children are often sexually abused themselves. (yes, I know the "abuse excuse" is a load of crap coming from an adults' mouth but children often aren't capable of dealing with things like this) Starting fires is another symptom of sexual abuse as well. Regardless of how old he is it's not fair to anyone that he gets away with this. Something has to be done to protect these children.

[shyanne]

you should'nt feel bad about calling the authorities. if you don't want any conflict with your family, call it in anonymously but get help. call the childrens aid.... they'll do a full investigation.

[moonstone]

yes, you should not feel bad about contacting social services/police. This is a very serious act of abuse on your neice. I would also be interested to know how old your nephew is, and the age gap between your neice and nephew. Like some have mentioned, it is quite possible that some form of abuse is happening/happened in your own nephews life. A lot of children who have been abused 'act out' abuse, and present with sexualised behaviours and behavioural problems.

 

It seems that his parents are in denial about what has happened, and not willing to accept his behaviour (for the sake of his potential success in sports), and also it probably hard for them to accept what has happened. Denying his behaviour, could pose a risk for other children. They may not take the approriate actions/cautions necessary to protect him from doing anything again - which is your concern. Considering this, I think somebody needs to take some action towards protecting other children - and possible help for nephew.

 

Bottom line, your neice has been sexually abused, and I think efforts need to be made so that it does not happen again to her (or another child). this is a very serious concern, and i think something should be said. Perhaps, you could discuss your family's reactions (which you have mentionsed on your post) with social services/govt. deptartments, too see what they could suggest. And like someone has already said -making an anonymous report might be a good idea!