Wanting to find people that I can relate to...

[MorrowJ]

Hey, I'm new here and find myself unable to sleep tonight. I had been thinking for some time that perhaps I ought to join a forum in which the topic is important to me. I do not know of anyone else in a long-distance relationship, so I'm hoping I can get along with someone here. I'm not comfortable to endulge any information on my situation just yet as I haven't looked around for any forum that I might prefer better. For now I would like to introduce myself and if anyone happens to have any suggestions for forums regarding long-distance relationships, I would appreciate it. Thanks.

[whatfor]

hi MorrowJ

i am in an LDR too. i just tried to send you a link which im not sure if its ok to post here, but you blocked your pms......

[hazlcha]

Welcome here. I don't think this is a forum to meet for LDRs specifically, but it's a great place to share stories, get and give advice, support and so forth. If you're looking for a dating site, there are a zillion, and most of them basically worthless, if even that. I suggest that you participate here, respond to posts about whatever in life you can connect to, and if you happen to connect with someone, that's great. If not, it's still great, because people communicating and helping each other out is a beautiful and important thing.

[MorrowJ]

Welcome here. I don't think this is a forum to meet for LDRs specifically...

 

You must understand that I didn't post here to develop a long-distance relationship. I'm here to talk about the one I am currently in like I'm sure most of you are here doing. And about that "PMS" thing you were talking about, Whatfor - I guess you mean Personal Messaging System - I had no idea I was "blocking" them as you said. I didn't change any settings as I just registered a couple hours ago.

[ARabbitGod]

If you don't tell people anything how are they going to relate to you?

 

And by relate I suppose you mean in a positive way.

[MorrowJ]

I just thought to write a brief introduction at first. Testing the water, making sure that people are reading since that's what it's all about. So, I don't know how many of you have or have had internet relationships before. I'd say it's a little difficult to make a long story short, but at this time, the state that I am in with my significant other isn't exactly a "romantic" long-distance relationship per se. The fact of the matter is that for a while we agreed upon having a close relationship with each other while staying away from that "romantic" part.

Recently we have known each other for nearly 3 years. I say recently because we had talked before in the past but after a while faded out of memory. But 4 years later, boom! She's back. Basically I first met her when we were kids. About 11 and 13 at the time. We liked talking to each other a lot and in our still-developing little minds, we called it love. After a couple years of IMing and e-mailing, I don't know what happened really, the idea of love must have become disenchanted to me. It was then that the talking and e-mail responses got few and far between. But like I said, fast forward four years later, she sends me an e-mail out of nowhere. It was pretty much a shock to think that after four years of not talking she hadn't forgotten about me. Unfortunately for me, she hadn't stayed so strong in my memory at the time.

So, since then we decide to talk to each other online just as we had before. Except we are older and wiser now. We started off talking for hours upon hours, day after day. It wasn't long before we got closer and closer. Unintentionally, after about a year and a half or so of nonstop conversing (almost literally), we slip into romantic status or "bf/gf" status. It was about that time that we thought one of us should visit the other. Well, either of us hardly has the money to do a thing like that. You see, she lives all the way accross the country, in Mississippi, compared to where I am, Alaska. So, it takes a good bit of money to get from here to there. We had figured that Near Christmas time would be a good time to see each other, but I saw as to how my parents didn't approve of it, so I wasn't able to. This discouraged us and thereforeeee our relationship suffered as a result. But as they say, time heals all wounds. We never stopped being friends and vowed since then that our relationship would be limited to friend status. These days we don't talk on the internet. It's strictly limited to phone conversations. There's a whole lot more I could say to explain my relationship with her in a more detailed manner, so this is the basic history. Anyway, I feel I've said more than enough already.

Thanks for reading.

[MRSinPA]

OKAY!!!!!! So, guewss what! I was pretty much in your same situation! My first advice to you would be this: if you can handle the distance, I wouldn't detach yourself from your feelings! If you both really care for each other, there is really no harm in putting a label on it! Here, i'll tell you my story:

 

I lived in Oregon and accidentally met a guy online that I ended up being very interested in. Unfortunately he lived in Pennsylvania. On TOP of that, he was 8 years older than me. Needless to say, neither family was very comfortable with this. Like you and your lady, we talked online and on the phone for hours every day for a long time. We had a lot of ups and downs as we tried to deal with the stress of being so far apart, but we just kept on working through it. Finally we were able to spend three weeks together. It was amazing, but it would be another 8 months before we saw each other again. but by the time those 8 months had passed we knew what we wanted. He proposed and we were married 7 months later.

 

I tell you all of this because you should NEVER let what other people think determine how you live your life. You are a legal adult, fully capable of maiking your own decisions. Your parents will disapprove, of course! But believe it or not, they will have to accept the fact that you can make your own decisions! It sounds like the two of you have real feelings for each other, and you'll never know where you're headed until you can spend time together.

[MorrowJ]

Actually I had recently spent time with her for a week over the new year this year. It was the single greatest experience of my life! No joke. Even though we kept being friends throughout the years, I knew that I had been in love with her a good while before visiting her. But during the visit, I was actually able to express it! It took about three days to get that comfortable. Relatively fast, I suppose. Let me tell you a little something about myself. I'm as virgin as you can get. I had never kissed a girl up until that point, let alone hold her hand! I was so comfortable being with her in Mississippi that I just didn't want to leave. I hate living in Alaska, by the way. It's just depressing here with all the whiteness and everything... Along the coast of Mississippi, on the other hand, even though just about everything that sat there is destroyed, I still had admiration for those white, sandy beaches. Anyway, getting off track a bit. I do consider her to be the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, so at some point marriage will have to come into play. I'm looking to be financially stable, though.

I would definitely love to see her again. In fact, I'm obligated to. Ever since that week, I really haven't been the same. Phone conversations just don't compare to speaking face to face. MRSinPA, how is married life treating you so far? They say the first two years are the most difficult. You think that's true?