STILL CONFUSED!!!!

[confused_soul04]

OK, well I've posted on here before. I am having troubles with a guy that is shy and I realize now why I won't say anything to him. I am getting signals from this guy but I am not doing anything because I'm fat. I know some people are like "she probably just thinks she's fat" but no I mean I am really overweight not extremely but enough like 190, well anyway he isn't and he hangs out with more popular people. I know that he is a shy guy but this is what is holding him back right? I mean I don't care about how much he likes me he's not saying anything because i'm fat. I can't say anything to him because I know guys don't go out with fat girls. Isn't that the case? I mean I just realized why I get so pissed when he flirts with me, because I know that he will never go out with me. I keep telling myself it won't work because I know people would make fun of him. Is this wrong of me to do, I mean i'm so insecure about this. What should I do? Do guys think that being fat is like the worst thing a girl could be? I just like this guy so much and it is killing me because he acts like he likes me too but I can't get over this. What should I do?

[in_the_mirror]

well all i have to say is dating in school kinda sucks cuz everyone does focus on every detail about a person and they are always bad. i say if he won't go out with you because he is worried about what other people would think you are better off with someone else. he sounds to insecure with himself.

[confused_soul04]

I don't know if it is that or what. I mean he is the one that acts like he likes me I don't do anything but act like myself. He makes me like him by flooding me with attention, but then never tells me that he likes me. I dunno if he just won't ever go out with me or he is shy...I mean it's hard for me to make the first move when I'm insecure and if he is insecure we are never going to get anywhere. I just don't know what to do because i would be able to move on(hide the feelings) if he would just leave me alone. I don't know what he wants from me.

[aloneforever]

It might be the case, the last person I asked out was fat and ugly though so it might not but I'm in college now. You should just try to let it go if you're sure that nothing is going to happen, besides if he's shy then how do you know what he's really like?

[Shy_Guy]

First of all, I realize that as was mentioned previously, when you're still in school, your peers DO focus on the shallow things such as looks. Don't let this be the reason not to pusue him. EVERYONE is unique and beautiful in some special way, and I'm SURE you are too. Just by posing the question, you show ALL of us the beauty of your character and soul. Unless he's just a total @ss, then perhaps he DOES have some type of interest in you.

 

The main questions you need to ask yourself are:

 

1) Is his flirtation genuine, or is it just a game he's playing? Is he 'real' or is he just a player. If it's the latter, he doesn't deserve you in the first place.

 

2) Are you willing to put aside your fear of embarrassment and potential rejection to pursue what (who) it is you REALLY want? Which is the better path for you to choose, knowing for sure, one way or another if he's interested in you, or sitting and waiting for him to send a clear signal, or possibly not, and live out the rest of your life, wondering what could have been.

 

Personally, in my experience, there is no REAL reward without SOME element of risk, if even only of being embarrassment, but the choice is yours.

 

I do wish you the best of luck, whichever path you choose!