Should I Stay longer or not???

[bb28]

I am a 28 year old who has been married for five years. My husband and I have a 6 year old boy. I think I married him for all the wrong reasons. We married after our child was born. I thought things would get better if we got married and it would be the right thing to do. We have now been in counceling for 2 months because I told him I wanted a divorse. He really wants to work through this. I have lost all attraction to him. I can't so much as give him a hug or kiss without feeling uncomfortable. I know that I can be attracted to other men so it's not a physical problem. I love him because he made me a better person and because he gave me a wonderful son but I have fallen out of love with him. We just bought a house and have lots of debt. The counceling just doesn't seem to make things better. We just seem to fight more. I feel like I'm basing my reactions on trying to not hurt his feelings. He's a really great guy but I just don't think he's the one for me anymore. I feel that he might be happier with someone that can give him what he wants. He keeps using our son as a way of staying together. Like "think of how it's going to affect him". His parents got a divorse when he was young so I guess he knows what he's talking about. I just don't want my son growing up thinking that our relationship is a healthy one. Any advise on this would be greatly appriciated!!!

[PerfectTeenFlirt]

Hello. Well let me start my saying this divorce is a BIG step. Now you have said you have fallen out of love with him. There is nothing that can change that. No matter how much he tells you how a divorce will affect your son. Now there is not much I know about your relationship and there is not a lot myself or other people who relpy can help you with your relationship. But I should tell you counseling will take a while to work. Also, I have seen a lot of children who were happier with their parents being divorced. But that is because their parents fought all the time. I don't know your situation but I just thought I'd add something to your problem to maybe help you. Well keep in touch. And I hope everything works for the best.

[Azn_lover]

Well, its hard to live with a man you dont love anymore... I feel it may have a greater impact on your son if you keep together, cause you guys will just continue to fight.... And my parents devorced when I was 5 and I grew up just fine....Since hes so young, he wont understand it... Just say you guys are taking a little break, and you'll still get to see the both of us... It might be hard on him for like 3 hours,, but he will end up ok after... Im no expert, but thats what my parents did...... Well good luck...

[cb2003]

Hello, even though the topic is divorce for women I am currently struggling with a possible separation/divorce. I am 32 male, married for 8 years with all the bells and whistles so to speak (love, soul mates, dated for 3 years before marrying, etc...)

 

One thing I know is that it hurts when you grow appart from that person you once loved. But most important is the life of a CHILD if you have one. I have a 5 year old daughter that I love dearly and the thought of having her away scares me because I always believed in strong family values and to lead by example... well life is playing a bitter joke on me and my wife.... we both have the same principles and perspective about marriage but we cannot stop argueing and fighting infront of our daughter. This is terrible so its time for one of us to make a move to better our daughters life, and ours.... so she won't be affected by us fighting all the time. The move is mine... tears me up to know I probably will separate or divorce, tears my wife cause she's always been dependant of me but the truth is that no matter what how many years we keep struggling to make this work, we go back to the same old life which to anybody would be the equivalent of incompatibility. My reasons are beyond mistakes or deceptions... its a heavy load to know that a major disappointment is on the way.

 

I just feel that I cannot get divorced because I can't grow apart from my daughter cause she'll have to move abroad. I will be happy to be a single parent but I know my wife will not agree and laws favor mothers. I have never complaint about my daughter and feel worried that her mother has short temper and complains about her often. So there I am between the wall and the sword, I don't know what to do... I don't expect to do what other tell me either... I just listen and finally I will draw my own conclusion and hope that it was for the best (for the 3 of us). This is all I can probably tell you.