Serious advice needed!!!!!!! Please?

[hk87]

Hey all, this could get long- sorry.

Well, there is this guy I like, an I told him a while ago, but he has a g/f so couldn't and wouldn't do anything even if he liked me, so we decided to be friends, and I'm happy with that.

Anyway, I was thinking of travelling a little, and my flat-mate ( Kirsty) was like yeah, great idea, we'll go together. So then I was talking to this guy (on AIM), and I decided I would joke about coming to visit him and stay with him so he could show me around his city, and after the initial shock to my amazement, he agreed and said I could! I never told him I was joking, and now I can't, because he really thinks I'm serious!!!! Now I've thought about the idea, it sounds good, but I don't know whether to go or not because I feel like I'm totally intruding on this guy and his family when I've not known him that long, and I don't know a lot about him. (he's quite a quiet and private person) I get on with him really well, although we do clash sometimes, but he's really easy going and if I apologise, everything is forgotten about.

It would be amazing to go, but I'm thinking it would be really weird. I'm so shocked at myself for suggesting it, but I wasn't being serious at the time, but now I want to go, but don't at the same time. ](*,)

And to top it all off, I couldn't tell my parents I'm going because they wouldn't let me. (I have ways of going without them though)

 

I really don't know what to do, I would really appreciate help and advice here.

 

Thank you SO much, Hk87

[xmrth]

Does he still have this girlfriend of his? You'd not only be intruding on his family, but her as well...

 

If he doesn't, then why wouldn't your parents let you go? Maybe they wouldn't for good reason; you should consider why. If they'd think it's not safe, it really may not be safe.

[shaggie1]

Perhaps telling him you where not serious now would be the best way out of all of this just be clear and to the point. also include that his comment made it hard to back out. This would seem to be the easiest route.

[hk87]

I think he does have a g/f, but he refuses to talk about her really, even although I've asked casually about her. As I said, shes not over here with him, so there is no way of telling if she is still around, or not, or ever was. He says his parents really don't mind, and they would be at work 3 out of the 5 days. My parents won't let me go because my dad is muslim, and hates me even being friends with any guys, which I think is impossible in todays society. I'm not too keen on being a muslim, I follow some parts (ie food type) but that is it. I don't pray or anything like that. It is perfectly safe to go where he lives, it's not in the middle of a war or anything. I don't want to get out of going, I just have reservations about going, although it would be amazing to see another country and his style of life, although it's not too different from mine. I'm just unsure, because of how he has acted in the past. Sometimes he is really friendly, but other times he is distant and seems to close up to me. So when he agreed, I was totally shocked!!! If I tell him it was all a joke, he isn't going to be very pleased with me, maybe even disappointed, and is certainly not going to trust me again any time soon.

 

Hk87