So confused.

[Jambat]

Greetings all,

 

I have recently over the past month or so met this girl who seems terrific but also just seems to confuse me over and over and I was hoping someone might understand whats going on or what to do or anything that starts with what....

 

We are both twenty one, and we work together. After a week of working together and cracking jokes and stories she invited me to a party over at her house and I went and had a great time. We've hung out several times since then but I simply dont know if she see's me as just a friend, or something more. One conversation I think she's flirting, the next I think she's just buddy buddy and although Im not all that shy Im a little worried of asking her out, her saying no, and then things getting weird and losing what looks like at the very least a cool friend.

 

Some of the things that have gone on: One - We are both from California and are living in another state for school. She's made a few comments, perfectley serious, that If I went back home she would go back with me, but then she makes cracks like 'she doesnt care (about whatever) as long as it gets her back home (not sure if playing or not). A thing that makes me worry is that she hangs out with alot of guys, and Im not sure if when we kick it she just see's it like she's hanging out with these other guys. She does tease me a bit and I do the same, I always saw that as a good sign, but then she goes and says she treats everyone like that so she's not just being mean to me (Bah! No clear signal!). She told me last night that she had never cheated on a boyfriend before, Im not even sure how that one came up but I thought that was worth noting. She brought up a ex-boyfriend and how he totally screwed up flirting with her at first, and that just left me going 'eeeh?' but it struck me as weird.

 

And on and on.

 

One moment I think I should ask her out, the next moment I think its just a bad idea.

 

What would you do?

 

Jams

[kdreger]

Look at it this way, she's in the same boat as you.

 

If you don't make a move, she's not going to either.

 

Remember! We only regret what we don't do.

 

If you want to make a move and not lose the friendship do a classic thing I've done and I think is GREAT! heheh Get drunk and make sure she knows you're drunk. Then while drunk, ask her if she'd ever go out with you or sees you as more than a friend. She can then use your drunk state as a way to escape embarrasment (you're drunk! or you should really stop drinking etc) and you can blame it on that the next day to relieve any discomfort saying that you talk stupid when you're drunk and apologize. Best part is that the seed has been planted. She will now look at you as a potential love interest but not be uncomfortable with you as the only reason you hit on her is because you're drunk. Make any sense?

 

Then again I could be talking out of my ass.

[jimbucktwo1776]

She's hanging out with all these guys, so if you just hang out with her your the same as all the other guys. Ask her out, just the two of you....separate yourself from the crowd. If she says no, say, "ok, I just thought I'd ask" and play it off. It's no big deal if she says no...you'll just move on to the next girl. The sooner you know the better. You owe it to yourself to find out.

 

So stop reading this crap and go ask her out.

 

 

 

Jimbucktwo1776

 

 

 

That's that.

[dfcannon]

I hear you, big guy. I've known women like this. Depends on whether you will enjoy the ride, because her weird behavior will not change under the official umbrella of bf/gf. Then you'll have an added layer of complexity, because she'll be behaving that way even though you're committed. lol

 

So...ask yourself how much you want her, and then make a decision. She sounds silly and changable and flirty enough that you can recover from a rejection and still kind of have fun as friends. Personally, I think she likes you but has "issues," and if she won't be your g/f, it's not you, it's just a general problem she has.

 

Good luck!

[Jambat]

Thanks all for the great replies. I'll tell everyone how it works out here shortly, but the help was much appreciated.