New Years woes

[workaholic]

I have several options for the New Year..and unfortunately sex is on my mind. My buddies, co-workers are talking about sex alot and I'm not feeling peer pressure from them to "have a good time" on the night of all nghts..instead I'm feeling self-pressure.

 

There's a female friend who I like as a person, and I do have thoughts about me and her having sex. However I honestly don't know if the outcome will be good or not. She might want to get into a relationship..I might not want to because I'm still at the age where I want to experiment, plus she's one of the few female friends that I have and so it would be against logic to have sex with her.

 

But then again I can't look into the future and determine how many new platonic female friends I might meet. The plan that's shaping up in my mind is to take her out to dinner or go with her to a public party, or to a friend's house party. Dance with her, party with her then proclaim my interest in her and see where it will take me. I've showed her signs that I was interested in her but she played it off and I left it alone. However, it's been 2 months since we last saw each other in person (we talked on the phone) and now I feel that I should go ahead and present my romantic side to her.

 

My other option is to go to a party by myself and hopefully I would meet a new girl there, and connect with her. I tried to do this last year but the party was so close-knit..I knew the hostess but she didn't introduce me to any of her friends. Also I was by myself , which is not great on New Years.

 

The bottom line is that i want to try something new, I'm eager for my friend's company and also I'd like to test the waters. I just wish I had a lot more female friends because then I wouldn't feel so bad about my desire to develop something more with one of them.

 

Help!

[Slagar]

Well, as for the pressure towards having sex... honestly, don't push yourself. Don't expect anything, don't hope for anything... on New Years, anything goes. Just try to look forward to having a fun night, no matter what the outcome. This is the aim of New Years after all. If you're putting pressure on yourself to have sex, chances are you won't enjoy it that much anyway.

Whether you decide to be with your friend or try at a different party, just go there with the sole aim of enjoying yourself

 

As for whether you should spend time with your friend or a new group...

If she wants a relationship, and you still want to experiment, then my suggestion is go somewhere else. The key here is to mingle! Don't be shy, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet! Having some alcohol usually helps me mingle

However, if you think you'll enjoy spending time with her more, whatever the outcome, then go with that. Don't expect anything though; you haven't even seen eachother in a few months. If it goes well and ends in sex, then... it goes well and ends with sex.

Even if she is looking for a relationship, there is a chance (depending on what she's like) that she might want to simply hook up for the fun of it on New Years anyway.

 

I hope this helps a little. Whatever you decide, enjoy yourself and have a good one

[ariyadhana]

If you want to have sex with a girl, and don't want to get into a relationship with her, make sure that is CLEAR to her before you have sex with her.

[Day_Walker]

If you have already proclaimed your interest in this girl you like and she just played it off then there was a reason that she did that. It could be that she isnt interested or it could be something else. If you are interested in her more than a friend then you should make an attempt if she shows interest in you.

 

As far as your new years regardless or not if the party you went to last year was too close knit then what you want to do is to meet people. If the girl you went with last year didnt introduce you then you are going to have to make the effort yourself. This can be a difficult adjustment to make but it needs to be made just go out there and have fun with it.

[ShySoul]

If you feel like its going to be sex just for the sake of having sex, then you are into it for all the wrong reasons. It can only end badly. There are plenty of ways to have a great time that does not involve having sex.

 

Concentrate on just having a good time and enjoying yourself. You are turning this into a prom situation, where you think you have to "score." You don't have to. All you should be worring about is having fun.