Frequent Mood Swings, I'm mostly angry & depressed.

[Atlanta_GeorgiaBoy]

Everyday is like a rollar coaster ride. Somedays I wake up feeling ok, Other days I am very angry & depressed. This often leads me to lashing out to whoever is around mostly my parents. I'm basically existing & trying to move forward in my life. Jobs are scarce & I've been trying to get one for months, this will be my first time working. I have yet to come to a job. I am trying to learn how to drive & my dad is going to teach me but he puts it off & he does this to me alot! It really ticks me off. I'm currently out of high school & strangely it's like all of the friends I did have just disappeared from me. It's like we're not as cool as we used to be, I really wouldn't call them friends to begin with.

 

With this in mind, since I have no transportation or no friends now, I spend alot of time at home. It's really not good for me because I have no one to talk to & my parents really never cared about what I had to say really. All they can do is tell me things will get better. I'm very lonely alot of the time & nothing exciting happens in my life. Some days I let my sadness get to me & I'll be rude to my parents & say things I usually regret.

 

I spend 90% of the time on the internet. At least here I can talk to people & they respond back. Without it, I'd lose it for real. It's been hard for me to make friends, I never seem to be the type to be popular or have alot of family & people around me. Almost like no one is interested in me. High school, I remember joining clubs & stuff but I always found myself isolated from everybody & when I did try to talk to people, they acted like they were to stuck-up to say anything to me.

 

Christmas really got to me today, because I had no family but my parents here & I went to church to see all of the people my age have fun, talking about how good life is & everything they got. I know that it is petty stuff but I would have liked a little something for Christmas. Everyone got nice clothes to wear & I'm stuck with the same crap.. If I had a job I would buy my own things. I didn't want to burden my parents because they're having some serious money issues. So I didn't bother them about anything for Christmas, though I really wanted to.

 

It seems like all of my life, I always got the short end of the stick & I think all of the years of that is really getting to me. Some nights I pray to god to help me but nothing happens, I lie in bed frustrated everynight, sometimes even crying because nothing ever goes right in my life...

[Dregnought]

I suggest finding some good pals online. Thats the only thing thats really helping me at the moment, im kinda somewat in the same boat - no real life friends. It happens when highschool goes. Im lucky that i got a gf about 1-2 weeks before the end of school. Online, long distance, but its better then nothing. Maybe you could give that a try.

[smallworld]

*Hugs* Atlanta. I've felt misunderstood and alienated at times and understand how you feel. I also know how easy and tempting it is to go online and make friends instead of dealing with the challenges in your life. Instead of telling you what you already know, I'm going to remind you that you don't have to build Rome in a day. You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to know how, or why, or when. You just have to begin.

 

Start small and pick something you want to do... the only requirement being that it should be something that in some small way moves you towards your goals/ dreams. The point isn't whether you achieve those dreams, but that you try. I know it's hard to stay motivated when you feel like you can't go any lower,but the truth is we're the only ones who can make ourselves happy, so we might as well start today. Make a list of what you want to do with your life and then take baby steps to try things out. Volunteer if you need recommendations to get a job, make friends, or just to get out of the house every day and have some sense of purpose.

 

As for driving, if your Dad isn't "available" then get one of your friends or relatives to teach you. When there's a will, there's a way...

 

Relations with your parents will get better if you just give you and them some space. But clearly the first baby step is to get out every day. Take care!

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

hi

 

i understand how you feel because i feel like this sometimes... Dont worry, believe in yourself.. Believe that things can get better.. I know its hard when you are feeling down to get up again.. but you can do it..

 

If you feel that you are too small, dont be sad.. just speak to your mind.. whenever i feel this way.. i go to the place inside my heart which motivates me.. i know iam a good person.. You have to keep on moving.. Dont think of what are people thinking of you.. Let me tell you that.. You have to move now ALONE.. I know its hard but you have to do it.. Forget the sorrows you are in now.. As smallworld said: Begin small.. Ignore all the negative feelings... Most heros are lonely by the way.. Also remember exceptional people do exceptional sacrifices to have the exceptional demands.. The more you struggle the more you can go up..

 

To make it easier for you to understand what i mean.. If you are facing a problem.. Its like a block in your way.. When you continue moving and challenge this block.. It will be a step.. The higher the block (problem ) the higher step you can climb.. ( steps for success ).. If you need any help PM me.. Goodluck