my best friend..

[ariyadhana]

Two and a half years ago I met an amazing guy. I feel we clicked instantly and developed a great friendship. However there was one problem. I started falling in love with him from the day I met him. This has caused a lot of problems in our friendship, I've been jealous, bitter, resentful, needy, and just about everything else under the sun towards him. I realize I have major self-esteem issues that, mixed with my feelings for him, cause me to act like this. We fight a lot, on and off, mostly due to my insecurity with the friendship, however he still claims I am his best friend despite all the drama we have. Anyways, things are now changing. He is moving to a new city (2000 miles away), and I will probably only see him a few times a year at best. He is also very involved in his career, and has a hard time maintaining friendships. So I am of course worried that we will drift apart even though I know I can't control that.

 

I don't know what to do though. I feel like I need to get over him. I've been somewhat of a crappy friend to the guy, though at other times our friendship is amazing. I think he knows I love him, but he has had several committed relationships since I've known him and never attempted to initiate anything with me. Part of me thinks that there is something between us, but the spark just hasn't been ignitated yet due to my own emotional issues, as I'm sure the emotional basketcase I am can be quite a turn off. However I know I have to stop thinking like this, as it is likely wasting my life away when he doesn't want me, at least right now. But I don't know what to do. How can I stop being in love with someone, and keep the cherished friendship we have? I have been in love with him for two years, and to lose that love while keeping the friendship seems impossible. Sometimes I think I need to cut him out of my life completely, but I don't have many close friends, and he is truly the best friend I've ever had, so I just can't imagine doing that either. I don't know what to do, I can't live with the pain of unrequited love anymore though.

[Dregnought]

really you should of asked him out 2 years ago. Why is he moving? See if u 2 can get on the internet at the same time alot, and have a LDR (Long Distance Relationship)

[ariyadhana]

He was practically married when we first met, having been in a relationship with a live-in girlfriend for about 5 years. That ended about 6 months after we met, and during the time I was single I kind of hinted that I was interested, but I got the impression that he was not. It was also at this time I started to show the needy, insecure side of myself which I'm guessing was a real turn off and has probably killed any chance of romance. About 4 months after his breakup he met someone 11 years younger, he was 28 she was 17, and dated her up until a few weeks ago. This absolutely crushed me as I felt like he had chosen this teenage girl over me and I didn't understand it. This led to me saying a lot of nasty things to him that I really regret.

 

I just really believe there was a spark there when we first met, but I know for him it is now gone. We've been through so much as friends in the past two years and he has put up with so much from me, I wonder if it is too late to rekindle the spark? I just don't know what to do. Do I keep trying and hoping or do I forget about him? I've tried to date other guys but haven't met anyone that lights me up like he does. I would like to move on but a little part of me (that has been wrong before) keeps telling me to hold on. Also if I am to move on I don't know how to do that and still keep a strong friendship with him. I love his friendship.

 

He is moving because he got an amazing job offer, one he couldn't turn down, and one I would never ask him to turn down. I couldn't be happier for him in that regard.

[Dregnought]

I've tried to date other guys but haven't met anyone that lights me up like he does. I would like to move on but a little part of me (that has been wrong before) keeps telling me to hold on.

It sounds like t me that you may of met your soul mate (or one of them...) Talk to him about the last two years. tell im whats happened.