Point of order, reality check

[crookster_man]

Hello everyone, I just wanted to make a point. How old are you? Are you aware that the average age of marriage is 27-28? Did you know that the average person will have had 6, count them SIX loves in there life before they find the "one" and even then many people never find the "one". Trust me I'm a romantic; I hope I fall madly in love with some woman and live happily ever after. But we all need to realise that chances are we are going to get hurt. Chances are that the person we are with right now, or the person we will soon meet is not the one.

 

I just want everyone to keep this in perspective. So many people are writing about how devastated and ruined their lives are. How it's impossible to envision life without their "other half". Now I don't mean to take away from your pain. I know first hand how painful break ups can be. I know the pain is very real. However, please realise that this is a learning experience. You will survive, you will grow and you will be better off once you have mastered the situation.

 

Each relationship we endure, whether it is plutonic or otherwise is meant to be learning and growing experience. Every positive influence in your life will help you grow. This is the reason we partake in relationships don't forget that.

 

Now here are a few things I have learned.

 

1. Don't date someone to make him or her better, date them to make you better.

2. Never compromise your core values

3. Always express how you feel

4. Regret is an emotion felt by fools, relish in experience, for this is the first and only time you will ever experience.

5. Search for the positive in EVERY experience.

6. Love yourself first.

 

I've learned many other things, but I would like to hear what you have learned from relationships? What insights can you provide... that is the reason we are all here is it not?

[funkygirl758]

Good advice!!!!!!!!!! I wish I had understood this before I got involved. I think the only thing I would add is that the little things count. make sure that your values and outlook match up.

[faeriechyld]

This is sound advice. I'd also like to add that most people don't even know who they are until they are 25 and that is why I personally believe in waiting that long for a serious commitment such as marriage as I feel that gives everyone plenty of time to grow. Where I live, I swear, most of the teens seem to think as soon as they graduate, their life is going to end and they need to get married, settle down and have children asap or they'll waste away to nothing. And then...many of them get divorced a year or so later and regret their decisions, instead of taking it as a learning experience, as you suggested. Thanks for your post, I hope it opened many eyes.

[SmintyMinty]

That is such great advice! I'd like to add too that things don't get any easier or clearer when you're 25 either! I like to think that life changes all the time - it is the experiences you have both good and bad that make you the person you are for better or worse! I guess life is about embracing all those things and learning from past mistakes and dealing with the upsets and getting over the bad times and disappointments we'll all experience. I think it helps us appreciate the good times and stops us taking our happiness and others for granted!

[SmintyMinty]

Oh and I just thought of another great piece of advice someone gave me once!

 

If you're not sure how to handle a situation and what is the right or wrong thing to do, think of this: Imagine if you were to see what you decide to do splashed on the front headlines of every newspaper and how you would feel and what other people would think of you when they read about it! If you feel you can't live with that and feel ashamed then DON'T DO IT!