Say her this weekend for son

[journey05]

Well, I saw her this weekend to hang out with our son. She was all moppy and was asking me my plans for tonight ya know where...with who.

I saw her saturday night agin so she could see our son before the morning.

Any way she wanted to know if I wanted to go to atoy store with her and pick up some toys for our boy... I said sure.

 

Well yesterday she calls and said said she was too sick to go. She was sick because our son had been sick for a bit too. I said ok thats kool but I had to pick up some of my stuff anyway. I hadnt called her for about 4 hours then she called wondering if I were still coming over...within the message she asked if I could get her a cup of ice on the way.??ok??

 

So I called back a bit later and asked her when her parents were dropping off our son. She said later. So I drove by and of course I picked up the ice for her....I care....and my stuff then was on my way out to see our son at her parents. Then she said.."hey um...can you do me a favor....oh nevermind nevermind..".

 

I said what is it? She said well..could you rub my back??? I was like whaaaa??? She saw my reaction and was like " OH Forget it and did the whole eye roll thing. Then I said ok fine its cool. I did it for about a minute and asked "all better?" I got up and walked out saying hope you feel better.

 

It caught me really off guard. Its been a month and 2 weeks ago I tried to do that and she was like "NO"! lol. Women. Hope I didn't foul up.

[PocoDiablo]

Just a quick thought - are you getting anything in return for these favors? While it may on the surface seem harsh, it makes you look like a doormat if you just do things for someone without any expectations.

 

At least get a soda (for the ice) or a foot massage (for the backrun) in return. It's only fair, don't you think?

[Mrocza]

From the sound of your post, I got the feeling that she was into you. Asking you to come over, asking you to bring her ice, stalling about her parents...and the backrub was kind of a DEAD give away. lol

 

You mentioned your "situation"...you're divorced or separated?

[PocoDiablo]

From the sound of your post, I got the feeling that she was into you. Asking you to come over, asking you to bring her ice, stalling about her parents...and the backrub was kind of a DEAD give away. lol

Yeah, I sorta see this, but why would she ask for favors? I would think if she was really interested in him, she would have offered HIM a backrub.

 

When a man touches a woman, nothing may come of it.

When a woman touches a man, something usually comes of it.

 

That's my experience anyway. Women don't touch men they don't like.

[Mrocza]

Yeah, I sorta see this, but why would she ask for favors? I would think if she was really interested in him, she would have offered HIM a backrub.

 

When a man touches a woman, nothing may come of it.

When a woman touches a man, something usually comes of it.

 

That's my experience anyway. Women don't touch men they don't like.

 

 

Mmmmm...yes and no. She might be trying to figure out where he stands, especially when just a month and a half ago, he offered to rub her back and she said "NO!". Now her feelings are changed and she's probably trying to figure out where he stands. And since he's always around for their child, she's "testing" him in a way to see if it's just benevolence or he's actually still interested in her. (Willing to rub her back...)

[PocoDiablo]

I kind of look at it differently. What I see is a woman who is still looking for a provider, but thinks he is not the "alpha male" so to speak. In other words, she is not attracted to him but still wants to use him for what he can offer. I don't like seeing situations like that because usually what happens is the nice guy gets trampled and some other guys gets the physical love and attention.

 

I think that, even through hard times, if she is not giving - the keyword - giving you something then a critical part of the relationship is missing.

 

Hey, dinner is giving. Something like that. Just some effort on her part as well. It should not be one-sided.

[journey05]

Thanks for the responses guys.

[Lil Punkin]

Gotta agree with Poco on this one.` I'm a woman and I won't 'touch" or even be physically near someone I am not interested in.

 

If you feel like things are one sided and you're being taken advantage of..you probably are. Unless it has to do with your son, I wouldn't say yes to every little thing she requests....unless of course she is reciprocating. I realize saying no to someone you love is a hard thing to do sometimes..but at the same time you don't want to just be a doormat ..or her little "do boy" either.

 

Just my thoughts...

[Lil Punkin]

Ahhh using the child support and "whats best for our child" ploy to guilt trip you. Nice.

 

She could be annoyed that you seem "distant"....and trying to coax you into an arugment about it....If you have already discussed the money issue, tell her that you are not going to rehash it again.Seems your ability to just keep things short and sweet with her gets under her skin. Does she tend to like to control situations and outcomes? Thats the feeling I get from your posts...

[Lil Punkin]

Exactly Journey...she is NOT used to you being this way and it's getting under her skin. I mean...how DARE you be short with her?

 

Whatever you are doing is apparently getting a rise out of her.....but as long as you are taking care of your obligations..(your son) etc, you need to just worry about you. I am not saying ignore her..or don't talk to her....but remain indifferent! That's the key here. She probably feels like you are "slipping away"..and she's losing control over you and the situation. She may not even realize HOW or WHY she is reacting this way...but you will notice it.

 

Keep us posted....

[Lil Punkin]

Hi Journey...

 

She sounds frustrated. Like you should KNOW what's she's thinking and how she's feeling...without her saying a word. Hence her comment "You know how I get". Is that an excuse for her being irritating? No it's not. My suggestion in this case...would be ..next time she calls asking for "help"..and you agree to help her...if she gets like this, just ask her..."what's the problem? Do you want my help or not"? From what you've described, she sounds annoyed that you aren't doing cartwheels at her constant requests for help etc...and truthfully, you giving into her simply because she asks or insists on something probably does NOT help matters. Was this an issue for you guys when you were together?

 

It sounds like she doesn't know her boundaries with you...perhaps you should start setting some. You are not obligated to jump everytime she says "frog"...(this of course excluding your parental duties) and she needs to respect that you have a life outside HER right now. This sounds like a major issue and unless it's addressed and worked through, you guys could have a lot of obstacles.