Separation vs Divorce

[kenneth05]

Are there any benefits in getting a separation instead of a divorce? I'm confused about this and need some help.

Thank you.

[avman]

No, almost never any benefits. The only time I've seen it done is where the couple's religion forbids divorce. So they get a legal separation instead.

 

The problem with a legal separation (at least in the US) is that if you later decide to divorce then you have to go through the whole legal process another time. So why bother doing that - just get the divorce the first time around.

[Dako]

If for whatever reason, a couple wants to live apart but not deal with dividing property and finalizing the divorce, there may be reasons to do it. Sometimes people aren't sure they will be happier apart and don't want to sell the home, business or other assets just to try it out. It also gives them some legal protection in the interim, and may incrementally relieve some of stress of the split.

 

Of course, if they hate each other and only own a TV, it might not be the way to go.

[LifeArtist]

I don't know about "legal" separation, but I do have some experience with living apart for awhile. My wife stayed behind with the kids for 5 months when I took a new job.

 

It was quite an experience for me! It has been years since I lived as a bachelor and I really loved the freedom!

 

It has been harder to take the nagging and criticism, the being told what to do and what not to do since that time. So if you are really unsure whether or not you want a divorce, a time of separation may be beneficial.

 

If you know in your heart that divorce is the right thing to do, then it makes sense to just do it once and be done with it. Of course, you have children (if I remember correctly from another thread), so you will have some sort of relationship with your wife/ex no matter what path you take.

[ratherbesailing]

Kenneth -

 

I'm sure this differs drastically by state but we have kids and in Massachusetts we had to come up with a separation agreement. It was a "who's going to pay for what agreement" since we weren't living together. It included visitation. For us it was a step in the divorce processes but it could be used temporarily and you could just as easily get back together afterwards if you both agree to do so. Some people separate without a written agreement, not sure where that would leave you in your state where abandoment might be issue if you did get divorced.

 

Divorce is really hard, especially with kids.