Semi normal question, but I need some LOUD ANSWERS. ASAP PLEASE.

[You_Dont_Know_Me]

So - relationship rut - yet again.

 

And it's not like this is the first time, but we both are defiantly feeling it.

And we both want the problem to be solved as soon as possible. And we have yet to figure out what we can do.

 

So, my boyfriend and I was talking on Tuesday night (We've been together for a little over 8 months.) And he was saying, that it seems that his love for me is 'dulling'. That he loves me still, and he wants to be with me as long as possible - but it seemed as if there was a cloud or something, that was not letting him feel how much he exactly loved me.

 

We were just talking earlier and he said how he felt things were 'dull' - between us. As if something was missing. Then he asked me if I liked someone else - and I answered no, and I asked him - it seemed as if he hesitated, and said no, and he keeps saying no. And he kept asking me if I was sure that I still loved him ...

 

We discussed a break. Not a break break, but less conversating on the phone; or trying something that would make us realize how much we do love each other - but neither of us really want to go through with the 'break', or 'vacation', or the less talking. And we were going to go back to seeing each other only once a week. But, neither of us wanna really do that.

 

We just want to feel okay again. I just want it to all be okay again. Anything is worth mentioning, and maybe even trying. Please help.

 

We've had this problem before - but we seemed to work through it some how .... well I thought we worked out of it, until he told me he pretty must has always felt this way since July - and so yeah, please.

 

Thanks. Bye.

[maynards_razorblade69]

My initial reaction to your post was that he likes someone else. Sorry if it's not what you want to hear but that's what it seems like to me. If he's asking you if you still love him maybe it's because he, in a way, wants you to say no so that he can go for someone else...I dunno.

That's just my reaction.

[rosstheboss]

sounds to me like you both may have unrealisticly high expectations of a/your relationship. After that amount of time together things DO settle down, the spontinuity and the butterflies dwindle or leave. this is what you both may be feeling and describing as 'a cloud'.

if you see and talk to each other a lot like every day, try cutting it down a bit, once a week though might be a bit drastic. And when you are together DO things! Go out, have a meal, take up ballroom dancing anything! youre at the stage of the relationship where you have to put in effort as things don't just happen naturally.

 

Good luck!

[You_Dont_Know_Me]

Well.

 

A new thing has come up.

 

Well, when I get really sleepy it seems that my voice goes up, and that, yeah I may talk a little different - like a little more lovey dovey and what not ..

 

Well, he knows this one girl that has a very high voice, and I guess she talks as if she's talking to a child - and last night he asked me if I could do him a favor; to stop talking like her - and that he just didnt' like talking to me while I talked like that. I, honestly, did not even realize that I was talking that high pitched; I do not talk as if I am talking to a small child; I suppose I just talk "lovey dovey" - I don't know how to explain it. Well, we hit a moment of silence, which we do a lot while we're talking at night - and he commented that his one friend gave him advice that when we run out of things to talk about; leave it at that - get off the phone, don't try making more conversation, call it an end to the conversation, get off the phone and talk again tomarrow when you have more material to talk about - which made complete sense so we decided to get off the phone; and that's when he made the comment about how he didn't like talking to me when I talked like that other girl.

And so I ended the conversation with "Okay, I love you" " Good night' , and he wouldn't let me get off the phone; because he said he could tell somethign wasn't right - and I said I was fine - and I was, my feelings were just kind of hurt from his comment about me talking like that girl - it's not the first time he's said it before. And he was commenting how I act more like a girl now; like I'm more emotional with him - and more like 'aww, I love you" and stuff like that, so I dropped all of that - and last night I just ended the conversation with Good night, and he told me he couldt elll something was wrong because I just ended the conversation like that - that usually I SAY MORE and what not while we are getting off the phone: and i NEED him to make up his mind; and i told him I didn't do it because any other time I do it, he doesn't like it - and he was like 'I guess it demends on mood, huh?" and I used to have a pet name for him, and he said that we were becoming the couples we used to make fun of, will explain later with more time, and so I stopped calling him the little name I had for him -- and he asked me the other day why I didn't do it no more ... well ahem.

 

I love this boy so much that it tears me apart to even consider losing him - but I don't know what to do. I'm debating in my head about possibly taking a small break, not like to go see other people or something; but to, you now, keep ourselves busy --

 

All last week, while we were on the phone at night it seemed we got into a small disagreement. Not like a fight, but a conver. that kind of just upset the both of us .. and I wanted to try o hard this week not to have one of those conversations, and last night we had one, monday already ..

 

And I told him that I wanted to do that, and he was like 'don't say things like that, you make me feel guilty" ... well sorry!?!? And I just simply asked him, if he was sure he wasn't "miserable' with me - because of our conversation last week, and he tweaked out and told me to stop asking him questions like that ... and that it pisses him off when I ask him things like that ..

 

And he asked me again on Sun. if I liked anyone. I don't know if it was suppose to be a cute joke and I was suppose be like "NO body but you!", I'm not sure - and he told me not to worry about it. We were spelling the words out on our skin and when I couldn't understand it he said nevermind - and he wrote it on my skin so much; and I had to ask him what he was trying to write - and that was it. I wrote I love you on him - he wrote that - I hope he was kidding.

 

Feed back is much thanked!

 

Thanks guys!