You_Dont_Know_Me

but, i don't want to end it with him. think there's a good way I can talk it through with him?

So. After all my stories - this is the biggest and the most painful. My boyfriend of 9 months said that he hasn't been feeling the same for me. And it's been getting worse since at least 5 months ago. He said he knows he loves me - but he just doesn't feel the girlfriend/boyfriend connection anymore. So, he broke it off with me. Thinking that was the best and only way to handle things. For the connection thing, and because he wanted his life back to settle things. This is the kid who was more involved in my life than his. This morning he called, and asked for me to come back. That he just couldn't do it - it was too hard - and that he missed me. But, that wasn't the only news he had. There's been this one girl that's been trying to get with him for about 2 months now. And he admitted to me this morning - that he kind of has some feelings for her. He loves me - and wants to be with me - and he doesn't want these emotions for her, he really doesn't want them. And now I have no idea to do. I told him that I couldn't only have 80% of his love. And I asked him if he wanted to be with her - and he said a part of him does, but the rest of him doesn't he wants to be with me. And he says he wants to get rid of these feelings for her. And that she reminds him of me, when we first met and everything was 'simple' ... I hate her, and I hate myself - and I'm really mad at him.\ What am I suppose to do now? I took him back - before I knew about the other girl ... what now?

You all understand my past trouble. But, now - I'm just completely aggravated. It seems, Sue has asked my boyfriend to the dance coming up at their school. She asked him, if it was okay with me, to just go as friends. Well, he brought it up to me. Discussing the situation with one of my other friends, she commented that if he wants to go, let him go - but ask what his opinion of 'friends' is. Well, I think I jumped to bad. It sounded like he really wanted to go, to hang with some of his friends. But, he said he wouldn't go if it was going to upset me, because it'd make him feel guilty. Well, it was making me feel guilty that I was holding him back from going with his friends - and I told him that I could trust him and as long as it was 'just as friends', I was okay with it. But, I really wasn't. I hate the idea of it. So, I told him to go -- and he totally switched it around on me -- and was like "well, if you really loved me the way you say you do, you wouldn't want me to go to this dance with her" ... and I was totally frosted at this point. And then I said, well I really don't want you to go, but if you're going because all your friends will be there, And I said if he wanted to go for a good time, I could trust him -- and this is where I went wrong where I mentioned that as long as her greasy, grundgy fingers - then I stopped myself because I knew I was going into the wrong ... and he was like "So, what's with your hatred for Sue", and I said "I don't hate Sue, because I don't know Sue" and he said "Exactly, so what is with you throwing hits at her" ... and I said that I didn't mean to ... and he was like "well, what's greasy, grundgy fingers" ... and I lost it right there. And I asked him if he seriously believed that I changed my mind to him going to the dance - because he said about him loving him - he said yes ... and it's pissing me off again now that I'm thinking about it. Last night I was JOKING with him, she brought the idea up last night, and I asked what he would say if she did ask him to go 'as friends', and he said he wouldn't go -- and I said "good answer, you desearve a cookie". and he tweaked and went on this rambling of I have no right to control him, and that he gets enough of that around the house - and he knows that I was joking, but to stop that bull * * * * ... and I was just lost for words. Now, I'm pretending at the moment that the whole going to the dance with her conversation didn't happen - what should I do!?!?!

So, he brought up Sue again tonight. He said how him and Sue were talking again today; and how she said that if he didn't have a girlfriend she'd want to do stuff with him. (I guess she's religious or something, so like madly make-out or something!?!?) And we were talking about something; just recently on the phone and he made the smart comment "Oh, I'll just go make out with Sue" .. and we were discussing how I probably won't be able to see him tomarrow night - and I was upset, very very much, that I didn't get to see him tonight because of complications of events and same with tomarrow and he, jokingly, was like "Oh, I'll just go to some of my other girlfriends houses - I'll go to Sue's and have some sex with her" ... and he's always joked about that kind of stuff. We've always joked like "Hey, what kept you? Hanging out with your other girlfriend" -- but we've never used names!?!? I'm just getting fed up with listening about Sue Sue Sue - and I'm tired of listening to him joke about making out with her and what not. I don't think it's appropiate that he be saying things like that to me. And I'm scared that if I tell him that I don't like it, he'll just tell me that he's joking and I need to lighten up and take the joke .. and that I don't need to worry about it - he could never date Sue .. and that he loves me. It seems lately he's gotten more emotional with me. Just last week he was telling me how I seemed to be more 'girlie' (I'm usually not one to be all lovey-dovey on the telephone), and that we were becoming like the couples we used to make fun of ( I made up a random pet name for him one day - I was hyper, and it sounded cute --) so, I stopped doing everything that 'the other couples', or the 'girliness' involved with. And I've noticed he's doing it. He called and when I answered he said "Have I ever told you about the most wonderful girl in the world named 'me'" and he asked me why I didn't call him by his pet name (this was sometime last week) anymore ... * * *! And why sometimes I'm not all sweet and stuff, like telling him not to let the bed bugs bite anymore, I did the other day, but like mentioned this was last week at some time. The one girl named Mary, I guess has a very high annoying voice - in his opinion - and she is one of those people who talk as if their talking to a small child. When I become sleepy - my voice seems to raise, and I suppose sometimes I do weird, but not as if I'm talking to a two year old - I suppose I'm saying things, yeah, like I'm little - I don't know. The way I used to talk he said was so cute cute cute - months ago. Now he said that he doens't like talking to me when my voice is like that .. he asked me the other night if I could do him a favor, to stop talking like Mary --- and I just said screw it and decided to get off the phone and he apologized and just said that he just didn't like it when I talked like that. And tonight it seemed that he got off the phone weird. Like he got sleepy - so super fast. I trust that he was sleepy, I heard him fall asleep then couldn't get him back up - so I hung the phone up on him - and he called me back all mad that I just didn't press a button on the phone to get him up. And he was like "Do you want to go to sleep" and I said "I'll stay up and talk - but if you want to go to sleep I'll go to sleep too." - any other time he wouldv'e questioned and been like "Well, if you want to talk - bla bla bla" tonight he was just like "Okay, I'm going to go to sleep, good night I love you - peshaw peshaw peshaw ..." ... maybe he was just really tired.

Thanks Mun! I like the one you read in the book; and I may use it if he brings something up about them soon - thank you. And thank you everyone else! I suppose maybe I'm reading into it too much. But, I do worry a lot about losing him .... I'm trying to think of what he's all said about Sue, well that she's cute and he's said that Mary is hot. And he still has a picture of Lilly in his wallet; with a picture of me too -- I just try to ignore that one .. he's says he hates her and she's retarded; but still has the picture. Should I ask him about that? And he just says stuff like "Sue and I was talking about South park today" or "Sue told her friend this about me" and he commented the other day of "Sue, has a really good sense of humor, she's so laid back" then the next day he's liek "I'm so in love with you, because you can take a joke. I said a joke to Sue today and I think it offended her and I had to explain to her the joke" and I was joking around like "Oh, I'll go beat up Sue .. bla bla bla" and he was like "Sue will probably just look at you and be like 'oh okay'" .... is he forgetting that I'm like you too? - I mean I do suppose I tell him a lot about this guy I go to school with. All I say is just how me, him, and two other of my firends talk ... but I never mention to him what he says - like his sex jokes and what not. The other day I did mention to my boyfriend, after hearing all the Sue comments and I said how I told Bob today that he was taking his jokes too far - and that I had a boyfriend and we couldn't be talking like that ..... and I mention to my boyfriend that when Bob makes jokes about 'keeping me warm' and stuff that I tell him that I have a boyfriend - and I constantly remind him of my boyfriend (Bob has a girlfriend - it's all jokingly) - but these girls know that my boyfriend has me, and they do it anyways ... and I don't know if he mentions anything about me or not? Bob actually wanted to go to McDonalds, to get something to eat before one of his games; and I told him I'd have to make sure it was okay with my boyfriend - and we'd see; and I'd make it some friends and me and Bob (we'd be like getting out of school early or something) because being with Bob alone would be weird. But, Bob understands that I have a boyfriend - so he doens't do anything - and I know I'm not his type, Bob's just a joker/pervert ... But, I don't rub it in my boyfriends face - and .. yeah. Thanks for everyones input so far!!!!

He said he still loves me though. He doesn't want to end this? Is it bad?

I mean, I think he was like 10-12 when this couldv'e happened!?!? Do you take relationships that serious at that age? Hmm, maybe he was 13, I'll go with 13. But, thank you all - and I haven't accused him, I just told him that I didn't trust them ... But, I will talk to him about it ... I was in complete tears about the situation last night. So - just because he said that it means, he thinks himself that he can't be trusted? Or did he mean like "well, we've only been together this long - it takes time to earn trust" or something? Yeah - I can't make myself think I trust him; it'd just be lying.

hello. You've all read my messages. Thank you. This is my first like, real real, boyfriend and so everything I'm going through is kind of confusing to me. We've been together for about 8 and 1/2 months, and he thinks I don't trust him. He's been talking about this one girl lately, we'll name her Sue - and how she has a crush on him, and how she told her one friend that'd she'd love to make out with him. And he's been talking about this other girl named, we'll name her Mary -- Mary has a boyfriend; my boyfriend's good friend, well it seems that Mary is always flirting with my boyfriend ... and that Mary's boyfriend doesn't really seem to care. I guess he get's upset about it; but doesn't do anything - just tells her to calm down and stop it. Well, he's always telling me about him and Sue being together at school (we go to different schools.) , and how Sue will do this and Mary does that - and it upsets me. Is it that wrong that it upsets me? I don't know if I'm jealous - or whichever. I trust that he doesn't do anything with them; but I'm getting nervous about it. I just don't trust them; I'm scared one of them will con him into something. We're having some issues at the moment; you know the dieing of the sparks, but we still love each other and wan to be with each other ... and he said he feels as if his feelings for me have dulled because its' not new - which I understand. But, I'm scared he'll do something with one of these girls - because with Sue, everything would be new. I know that when he was younger - or like years ago when he went out with this one girl, we'll name her Jane - he cheated on her with a girl named, we'll say Lilly. He said kissed Lilly - because he didn't care about Jane anymore, and it was just something to do, and he liked Lilly --- I'm scared Sue will become a Lilly - and I'll be like poor Jane. He says he'd never do anything like that to me ... and I think he woudln't because he knows what it's like to be cheated on, and I do trust him --- or maybe I don't. He told me last night that he doens't htink I trust him; and that he understands if I don't. I mean, I can't just not trust him; he's never done anything for me not to? I just don't like these girls hanging on him. What can I say to him to let him know that I trust him - and to make myself feel better? ANd it seems everything we discuss the girls it make the situation worse. Some how or another. Should I tell him how I'm scared I'll become Jane? Or just let it go and work with it myself?

Well. A new thing has come up. Well, when I get really sleepy it seems that my voice goes up, and that, yeah I may talk a little different - like a little more lovey dovey and what not .. Well, he knows this one girl that has a very high voice, and I guess she talks as if she's talking to a child - and last night he asked me if I could do him a favor; to stop talking like her - and that he just didnt' like talking to me while I talked like that. I, honestly, did not even realize that I was talking that high pitched; I do not talk as if I am talking to a small child; I suppose I just talk "lovey dovey" - I don't know how to explain it. Well, we hit a moment of silence, which we do a lot while we're talking at night - and he commented that his one friend gave him advice that when we run out of things to talk about; leave it at that - get off the phone, don't try making more conversation, call it an end to the conversation, get off the phone and talk again tomarrow when you have more material to talk about - which made complete sense so we decided to get off the phone; and that's when he made the comment about how he didn't like talking to me when I talked like that other girl. And so I ended the conversation with "Okay, I love you" " Good night' , and he wouldn't let me get off the phone; because he said he could tell somethign wasn't right - and I said I was fine - and I was, my feelings were just kind of hurt from his comment about me talking like that girl - it's not the first time he's said it before. And he was commenting how I act more like a girl now; like I'm more emotional with him - and more like 'aww, I love you" and stuff like that, so I dropped all of that - and last night I just ended the conversation with Good night, and he told me he couldt elll something was wrong because I just ended the conversation like that - that usually I SAY MORE and what not while we are getting off the phone: and i NEED him to make up his mind; and i told him I didn't do it because any other time I do it, he doesn't like it - and he was like 'I guess it demends on mood, huh?" and I used to have a pet name for him, and he said that we were becoming the couples we used to make fun of, will explain later with more time, and so I stopped calling him the little name I had for him -- and he asked me the other day why I didn't do it no more ... well ahem. I love this boy so much that it tears me apart to even consider losing him - but I don't know what to do. I'm debating in my head about possibly taking a small break, not like to go see other people or something; but to, you now, keep ourselves busy -- All last week, while we were on the phone at night it seemed we got into a small disagreement. Not like a fight, but a conver. that kind of just upset the both of us .. and I wanted to try o hard this week not to have one of those conversations, and last night we had one, monday already .. And I told him that I wanted to do that, and he was like 'don't say things like that, you make me feel guilty" ... well sorry!?!? And I just simply asked him, if he was sure he wasn't "miserable' with me - because of our conversation last week, and he tweaked out and told me to stop asking him questions like that ... and that it pisses him off when I ask him things like that .. And he asked me again on Sun. if I liked anyone. I don't know if it was suppose to be a cute joke and I was suppose be like "NO body but you!", I'm not sure - and he told me not to worry about it. We were spelling the words out on our skin and when I couldn't understand it he said nevermind - and he wrote it on my skin so much; and I had to ask him what he was trying to write - and that was it. I wrote I love you on him - he wrote that - I hope he was kidding. Feed back is much thanked! Thanks guys!

So - relationship rut - yet again. And it's not like this is the first time, but we both are defiantly feeling it. And we both want the problem to be solved as soon as possible. And we have yet to figure out what we can do. So, my boyfriend and I was talking on Tuesday night (We've been together for a little over 8 months.) And he was saying, that it seems that his love for me is 'dulling'. That he loves me still, and he wants to be with me as long as possible - but it seemed as if there was a cloud or something, that was not letting him feel how much he exactly loved me. We were just talking earlier and he said how he felt things were 'dull' - between us. As if something was missing. Then he asked me if I liked someone else - and I answered no, and I asked him - it seemed as if he hesitated, and said no, and he keeps saying no. And he kept asking me if I was sure that I still loved him ... We discussed a break. Not a break break, but less conversating on the phone; or trying something that would make us realize how much we do love each other - but neither of us really want to go through with the 'break', or 'vacation', or the less talking. And we were going to go back to seeing each other only once a week. But, neither of us wanna really do that. We just want to feel okay again. I just want it to all be okay again. Anything is worth mentioning, and maybe even trying. Please help. We've had this problem before - but we seemed to work through it some how .... well I thought we worked out of it, until he told me he pretty must has always felt this way since July - and so yeah, please. Thanks. Bye.

ok thank you both. It seems things are getting better. We have so much contact on the phone - because we can only see each other on the weekends.

I want to start out commenting that I appreciate everyone's advice on this forum. It seems I post and post and post, and I get a response with my wacky random questions and I just really appreciate it. But, it seems this time I've been pushing myself back and forth between what's going on, and I seriously do not know how to feel, or to even explain what is going on. It seems my boyfriend and I haven't really been getting along all this week. Well, like we have - but it seems with each conversation this week there's been tiny disagreements, or a problem, lack of communicating, aggravation. I'll start with the other night. I've been very emotional this week for some very odd reason. But, I was crying for some off-the-wall reason. Actually, I do know. I was crying because I was finally hitting home about a lot of things that started happening to me when I got into this relationship awhile ago. I pushed a lot of people out of my life, and let a lot of relationships slip - because my boyfriend was something I never really had before and I was caught up in the moment. And I realized, and it seemed, we weren't going so smoothly this week and I was frightened the thought of him breaking up with me was going through his mind and i realized that if he did break up with me that I'd be alone. Well, not completely - but it wouldn't be the same. He doesn't like it when I leave much. I work twice a week and usually he accepts and it tells me to call him as soon as I get home, and I do. But, last night he was upset because I had to go back tonight because I just have to work again tonight .. and he wouldn't talk and he sounded upset and aggravated and it makes me hurt. And all it ended to was "Whatever, I'll just talk to you later bye" .. no I love you, no let's talk about this nothing - well I was getting slightly aggravated and we stayed on the phone to talk about it - and he wouldn't talk so I just said "Fine, bye" and he was like "Why are you doing that - just saying good-bye. I'll stay on the phone" and i was like "Well, it seems like you really don't want to talk to me right now" and was like "whatever, bye" . The conversation didn't end there and we talked about it for a bit - and I being stupid again kept apologizing. He called me this morning and apologized again and I actually hesitated at accepting his apology, and i tried changing the subject last night when he wanted me to accept his apology - I didn't want to take it - but I felt bad. I was him to know that it hurts me when he does stuff like that. And I just don't think it's been a good week for the both of us and i don't know how I'm suppose to be feeling about it. He mentioned a few nights ago about our lack in communication, and how at times he wishes he could go back to when we were first going out again to feel that feeling again - because he liked it so much. When he had the school boy crush on me - and was feeling love for me for the first time and it was just different. He commented that he knows everything about me .. but he did say that he loves having the feeling he has for me now, which I hope is love. And I rbought it all up to him the other night - and he told me to not to worry so much about him leaving me - because he's not. and that he loves me. and I worry too much. And that he said he'd be with me and he's going to stay with me and he's perfectly happy and that he loves me - and a few other thigns i can't remember, but I really loved hearing it all from him. The relationships still good, and we kind of discussed it and we don't want to end what we have, and I defiantly don't I love him to pieces! And last night we had an excellent conversation all the way till I mentioned having to work again tonight - and I think he was trying to guilt trip me because I had to leave early for work last night - and we didn't get to talk the full amount of time like we usually do. And while I was driving I called him again, just to say I love you - and he mentioned how he hated it because he'd have to say good-bye and he hated saying good-bye to me .. and I just don't know how I'm suppose to be feeling about all this. It only started like the other night - and I mentioned it to him and he commented that I shouldn't worry about not being able to keep conversation - he said he thinks this kind of stage happens with all relationships - a slight "what now" thought - and that I shouldn't fret about conversation and that'll it'll come on it's own and we'll find things to talk about ... And last night all I said was that I just wanted to make him happy - and he said that he was happy - the happiest guy alive. so - what now? I wanna just try to let it all slide over - because sometimes we do have little tiffs - and I think it's common in most relationships no? I've been with for over 7 months now, and I want to keep what we have going - and just work through this ... Yeah - so opinions would rock. Thank you so much!

Thanks sandstorm. It's not like it's real bad - it's light light light. And that's the only times I'll do it is when it's madly light. I usually never do it - I'm iffy about it. I was just curious - I've heard so many rumors. But, thanks for everyone's advice - and opinions.

I'm on my period. If my boyfriend ejaculates in me can I get pregnant? I was thinking I couldn't, but he told me to double check. I just started last night - and I am on birth control. Thanks!

My boyfriend and tried anal again. This time it went well. But, he said it felt good for like the first 2 minutes - then it got too slimy. Eww, what was slimy? Did we use to much lube?

So, we did it again - and it went well. Really no pain. bla bla bla. But, after a couple minutes he said he couldn't really feel anything anymore - and it was slippery ... eww. Why is that?

yah. I really didn't understand. But, maybe I was just worked up. But, I thing we're going to try it again.

I agree with the other people who stated that it depends on the people in the relationship. I think if you begin the relationship, and you both agree on having sex - and at the moment you both wanted it, and you felt intimate with each other, and you felt that it was a special thing to do - then it's an okay thing and can possibly create a wonderful long lasting relationship. Personally, my boyfriend and I had sex on like the first 'seeing'. We knew each other for awhile and trusted each other - talked on the phone all the time ... so it's not that I just recently met him. One day he came over and it just led to that and I've been in a wonderful 5.5 month relationship so far --- yeah, that's not to long, but oh well. But, i think I relies on the people in the situation, maturity, and the circumstances going on.

Hello guys - yet again. yet - new drama. taha. Here it is, in a nut shell. My boyfriend and I were attempting anal sex - again. We've done it before, but not for very long - and this time it lasted longer and I actually started to enjoy it. But, all of a sudden it seemed like too much or something. And I got real shakey, and like scared - and I got real cold and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. I felt so weak he stopped and I just curled into a ball on my bed. I felt depressed/sad and I couldn't get myself to talk and I kept breathing quickly. My boyfriend kept wiping back my hair and asking me to say something and I couldn't even get myself ot kiss him - I just wanted to go to sleep - I wanted to cry. Then we got dressed and I layed there for awhile with him. And it seemed to pass - and I was what was earlier. And I kind of have some cramping in my lower stomach - could be because I'm hungry; I'm eating as I type. But - why did that happen? Thanks!

I was thinking something on those lines. We decided a break wouldn't be the best thing - and the whole conversation really hurt for him to, at the end, agree with me. But, I guess I said a few things that made him think he was taking up too much space in my life; and he felt bad. We've worked it out. I'm just scared when school starts; we may have to do something. I told him I didn't wanna break, because it was like breaking up - it's just like a maybe .... which is usually over. He told me he'd be here for me always, and we weren't breaking up, he just thought a break would be good for me ..... obviously I said no.

What all is suppose to happen if you "break" .. ? Stop talking, stop seeing each other .. what?

I feel as if I've become bored of my relationship, but I still love him, so much. Last night, he brought it up - that he too feels the same way. We don't want to end the relationship, we just feel there's nothing left. We practically know everything about each other - and we're just lost on what to do. Last weekend, I/we did not feel this way, and really started on Thursday night for me - and Friday for him. But, we don't want to end the relationship. He thinks it's me finally get my license - and the dead bored days of summer, and it's just that we have nothing to talk about because we don't do anything all day. But, we still wouldn't trade our conversations for anything. I don't know what it is, and I feel horrible about it and I want the old, excitement feeling back. It just feels like we've ran out of passion, we still want to be with each other - there's just no more passion or something. It feels almost as if it's just at a hault, and we're both waiting for something really interesting to happen. And we want the old feeling back. I really don't know what I'm asking for, but any help would be appreciated. If you need more information, please don't hesitate to ask.

I wasn't sure where to post this question. It's silly actually, but I was wondering. When a man is aroused, or what not, do their balls actually swell?

Like how much is too much masturbation to have this problem?

No, he is not like that all the time. We are only 16, everythings so dramatic at this age. haha.