Need Advice (Long Post)

[satari]

Okay, so there's this girl that I've always found attractive, but it never really crossed my mind to try and hook up with her. We talked and stuff, but weren't really friends. Anyway, I have this party at my house, and we're drinking and having a good time or whatever, and next thing I know, we're making out. I'm buzzing, and not thinking about anything, just taking it in. Anyway, we stop for a bit, and actually talk about what's happening. She says "well I'm attracted to you, but you don't want to like me." Of course I'm like why not? She says "i like guys that don't like me...i don't know i'm weird." So we go to sleep, and the next morning we're sober but everything that happened the night before was remembered. Anyway, no talk of what happened came up, and i figured hell, we were drunk, and just havning a good time, so i leave it at that. Two weekends later, same thing happens, but we talk a bit more. She's like so, "so who do you like?" I reply nonchalantly by saying oh no one really, and i ask her the same question. She says well I'm up and down about guys but i like you. Then she says, "Why do you think i told you to call me this weekend if you wanted to something?" And i was going to call her the next night, and I told her that. I asked her if she was saying all this because she had been drinking and she said no, I'm serious. Anyway, we make out some but there's another guy there that she use to date. So I get my time with her, but she ends up spending more time with him making out or whatever, but I talked to her friend that night and apparently her and this girl had spoken about me. Saying stuff like "yeah, i like him he just needs to ask me out so i can see what it's like." Her friend was telling me yeah, ask her out she'll say yes. So i call her, and I ask her out. She says that she would go out but she has to eat dinner with her family and then her friend is coming down and is only in town for one night, so it's just not a good night. At school, between the first time i hooked up with her and the second time, I've kept it cool, and have been myself. We've talked it hasn't been weird or anything. After I asked her out, and it didn't go through, it's been pretty much the same at school. I'm just wondering what I should do. I'm pretty sure she still likes me, but it seems that when she's sober, she's less up front about it. Any analysis of the situation is appreciated, as well as advice, observations, and strategies. If you have any questions, I'll answer. Thanks.

[lillady898]

What are you looking to get out of this girl? A relationship or someone to casually hook up with?

 

If you're looking for a relationship, you're looking in the wrong place. Stay weery of those girls who have a good time by making out with random guys they meet, especially girls who hook up with more than one in that same night. These are not the girls who are ready to settle for just one guy.

 

Also, she says she likes guys she can't have. That is a major red flag. If you get attatched to her, either she'll drop you once you show that attraction or you'll have to play the game (which I definetly, definetly do not recommend). She sounds like a commitment-phobe.

 

On the other hand, if you're just looking for someone to hook up with, just be sure you don't go into it with any expectations. And be safe.

[satari]

Yeah, that was my initial reaction; however, hearing the news from her friend, and her asking me to call her if I wanted to do something made me wonder if there was something more there than a make out buddy.

[lillady898]

I doubt there's anything more. Just decide whether this is something you believe is worth persuing. Go with your gut on this. It's probably right.

[satari]

What about a course of action--the way to pursue a girl like this?

[RescueDiver]

Go for it, but guard your heart with her... she sounds like she could be like lillady says... only wants what she can't have. She sounds like she wants to go out with you... get to know her and see what happens. Just be careful though.

 

Course of action... well, she's already made it pretty clear she wants to hang out with you, so just try to find a day/night she's free and plan something. If it were me I'd try to make sure it was something where I could talk and get to know her better. i.e. movie at home, dinner, walks, etc...

[Dating Coach]

I say take her out but have no expectations about her because she is probably a flake. You are young and you should take things as just for fun right now.

[satari]

Thanks for the replies; I'll take all of this into consideration. Keep em coming though!