Friends, told her and not sure! HELP

[madtolove]

Hi well Ive think i have really messed up. My post for some background. Quickly met this girl 2 months ago. She need some advice and thats how it got started we became friends. Her head was in a mess and we hung around. Its weird because I have spent loads of time with and really liked her.

 

This week I did tell her and ask her did she want more. The day after she did call ot text me till about 1 am in the morning. Just asked what i was up too, I went out for a work friends leaving do. I left my phone at home and after that message is text me saying was i ignoring her. I text her when I got in saying no and because I was a bit drunk I sort of said alot more. I told her that again liked her and would be great if we could go out dating and see what happens.

 

Today she did call me on break and she didnt say anything about what I said. We did speak in the evening. I told her i was sorry for the message I sent and was a bit drunk and didnt want to freak you out. She said U have. Thats was all.

 

Need help thanks.

[mandymay]

wow you have got a mess there havent you? I agree with what they all said earlyer.... she is a mess and will mess with you as well... what do you think of her? try to be objective.. lokk at her behavior from someone elses view. does she care about you ? or is she useing you as her hold on things, i dont know I am not saying you should not be a friend maybe that is what she needs but a b/f is not what she needs right now. and you have feelings for her even though you know that she has a interesting past.. you could get burned and that hurts.. tread carefully my friend .. it sounds like she dont know what she wants and is a bit confused. think of it this way do you think that you love her? she needs someone it sounds like. someone to just be a friend -for now I wish you luck -peace

[Mrocza]

It sounds as if she's avoiding the topic on purpose. :S Maybe she isn't into you as much as you'd like her to be. Regardless if the girl was messed up or not, when you tell a girl, more than once, you're into her and she doesn't respond...

I say confront her about it and get a serious answer. She could just be leading you on...

Or she could be shy? :S

[madtolove]

Hi thanks for the advice. Again I am not really sure if I am pushing it. I told her that I liked her because I do. We do spend alot of time together and I have grown to like her despite all the problems. I didnt want to lie to her, being friends to her and she thinks its just that.

 

As I said we did talk last night and did say sorry for freaking her out. I am not sure if I did wrong by letting her know and she has given no signs that she sees me as more or wants more in time. I really dont think I can ask her again.

 

I sort of knew that something was up, I was a bit drunk when I told her again I would like us to go out if she wanted that. I didnt go over the top, but I really wanted her to know.

 

Last night we spoke as I said in my last post and I said to her I think I have freaked you out, and she just texted back U have. That was last night. I dont call her all the time and let her contact me through text etc. If I dont get back to her she thinks I am being funny with her. So I am stuck.

 

I wanted to go out with her, maybe just as friends and see where if goes but needed a bit more of a sign. I am really unsure as to what to do. No she is not the shy type. A while back we where chatting about how you meet people and stuff and she said normally she just goes out with guys they dont really tell her they like her. I think she meant if she meets up with a guy they just go out, the guy just normally kisses her and does not say anything right at the start. She doesnt normally have them saying they like her. Not sure if that has any meaning to what is going on.

[Dating Coach]

Why did you apologize? You should never apologize when you did nothing wrong.

[madtolove]

Thanks guys your advice is so help. DiggityDog I've followed some of posts and thanks aswell for sharing your thoughs.

 

I kinda of feel like Iam in a nowin situation. They way she is at the moment is a bit of a mess. She is sick aswell. I know she cant use that to keep me around but dont know why she hasnt put me straight and say theres noway we are going to be anythink more. But I also know that I am helping her and she doesnt want to lose that aswell. Man this is hard. Ive tried to talk to her a while back but she avoided that subject. They after a week or 2 I sort of popped it in again, and now this week.

 

Thanks

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

I am with Diggity on this one, you should not have apologized, you did nothing wrong. You have been a super friend to her and all she has been doing is mooching. I don't think she feels the same way as you do and she is taking you for a ride. I would be very careful with this girl, it sounds like she is going to bring you a world of trouble. Be careful and take care.

[madtolove]

Hi kellbell I know u have been following events and do respect what u are saying. If a force the issue of what am i, i will look like the bad guy pressuring her and dont want that. So with out playing any games etc is there any way I see her hand so to speak. I have tried the direction way and didnt get any answers. Do I back off and make myself busy.

 

I spoke to a close work friend who knows all about this and I respect him truly. He says its clear she has feeling but he thinks she is scared because I am too nice and she doesnt know how to take it.

 

I am thinking off just letting it go and moving on.

 

Thanks anyway.

[Dating Coach]

All of her actions after you told her all of this shows to me that she is not interest. The current troubles and situations that you have found yourself in simply don't happen when someone wants to be with you. I don't see her being interested in you romantically. Sorry man.

[madtolove]

You guys are great! Please dont have a go at me but I am going to met up with this girl tonight. She asked me what I was doing, we havent seen each other alot over the past week and she want to do something with me. I asked her if it was just going to be me and her and she said yes. I have 2 choices to make to talk to her and see what feelings she has if any. There was somethink that has been playing on my mind which about a week ago when we spoke after we had a argument. I said about her bringing her other friend along all the time. I made it into a bit of joke saying did she think I was going to jump on her, she replied in a joke way back I wont know what to do. My mate who I respect alot and is alot more clued up than me and like you guys thinks I should just go out with her on my own. Go to the pictures or somethink and hug her and kiss her. That way I will know and not be guessing. That was my second choice. Thats going to take alot of balls.

 

Well its tonight and I will let you guys know. LOL

 

Thanks again and take care.](*,)

[Dating Coach]

Good luck man!

[madtolove]

Hi dig.

 

Well plan didnt go as planned, we both in work early so gave it a miss. We spoke a few times just chit chat and sent a few messages. I sent this as a last one, and after what you said about being sorry I though you where so right. What am I sorry for, for liking her. If she takes that the wrong way then thats her problem. I told her in the nicest way possible. Its not a crime to like somebody. So anyway I just said 'I didnt mean to make you feel arkward about liking you. Want to know how you would feel about me taking you out on a date. Would that be cool'. Thats it now havent had a reply cos its late but if she avoids that question then I know she is not interested at all. What I am asking really is a change for us to date and maybe see what happens. I know theres nothing wrong in that do you think.

 

Thanks