I dont understand why he wont call me back .............

[snowwhite]

I met this guy a few weeks ago that I am really attracted to. I met this guy at a body shop where I had some work done on my vehicle. When I went to pick up my vehicle, he was flirting with me. Winking, calling me sweetie pie, ect ......... My brother in law (my sisters hubby) went with me to pick up my van, and even he noticed this guy flirting with me. So ....... I e-mailed him at his work e-mail address, and thanked him for all his help with my vehicle and that it was really nice to meet him. When I didnt get any reply from him (I waited a few days.) I e-mailed him again. When I still didnt get a response, I e-mailed him one more time. Still now response, or so I thought. I just happened to look in my bulk e-mail folder one night and low and behold there were three e-mails from him in there. He said it was a pleasure to meet me also, and that if I ever needed anything, to please call. Well, I decided to call him this past Wed. (Nov. 30th) I got his voice mail, so ........ I said "Hey this is _____ I had you on my mind this morning, so I thought I would give you a call. If you want to call me back, I would love to hear from you, and I left him my phone number. Well, he did call me back, and he left me a voice mail. He said ......... Hey, this is ______ sorry I missed you call, I was on the other line, I will try you again later. Well, it is now Sat. night and he hasnt called me back. If he isnt interested in me at all, why would he even bother to call me back? I mean, he knew that my last call was not business related, it was purely personal. If he doesnt want anything to do with me, why bother calling me back?

[annie24]

He might call you in a few days - or he might not. Remember - you have NO idea what his situation is. Yes, he was flirting, but you never know - he could have a girlfriend or a wife. Lots of guys, especially ones that work with machinery, don't wear their wedding rings. And you're the one who is pursuing him, so you don't know if he was really into you or not. True, he was flirting, but remember - he could have asked you out just as easily as you asked him out! He knows that you are very interested, so he can take his sweet time in getting back to you, if he feels like it.

 

Well, I think you have lots of guts for making the moves on him like this. But don't get too discouraged if you never hear from him again.

 

Good luck

[snowwhite]

True, I dont know what his situation is. I dont think he has a wife, this guy handles the business end of things at the body shop, so theres no reason why he couldnt-or wouldnt be wearing a wedding ring if he wanted to. The thing I dont understand is this .......... if he does have a girlfriend or a wife, why would he bother to call me back when he knew that my last phone call was purely personal. Or, why wont he tell me, I have a girlfriend or something.

 

I am not gonna push it any further, Ive done all the contacting Im gonna do.

[annie24]

Oh, I've known plenty of married men who only do paperwork, and they also don't wear wedding rings.

 

Even if he does have a girlfriend, he may not have wanted to say that to you on the phone. He knows that the call is personal, but he really has no idea what about. Maybe he didn't want to be presumptious. If he said something like, "Hi - Sorry, I have a girlfriend". And you said, "Oh, I wasn't calling to ask you out! I was calling because there was this other cute guy at the body shop, and I was hoping you could set us up."

 

See? He'd feel really stupid. Maybe he was just calling you back because he was curious about why you were calling.

 

Yeah, don't push it any further. Hey - you tried! And that's great.

 

good luck in the future!

[Bethany]

He could just be being polite. If someone has done those things to you, I am sure you would have replied, maybe even be a bit flattered. But I don't think you should call, email or anything else to this man. If you pursue too hard, he might get freaked out.

 

If he likes you and is single, let him do the running, you have showed your interest and I don't feel that you should carry on... let him to the running.

[annie24]

1. He was flirting with you.

 

I think the best assumption to make is that he is single. If hes working at a body shop, which i do have knowledge in as far as the enviorment there...

 

 

Let me assure you, that married and engaged men, and men with girlfriends flirt ALL THE TIME. Not all of these men, but a very large portion.

[Belle]

I have a different take on this. I think that you leaving 3 emails and then calling him was a bit draconien. It feels like too much and he may have perceived it as desperation. He may have called out of politeness and it doesn't sound like he's really interested. If you do feel the need to pursue a guy (which I don't advocate anyway), I think you need to hit once and leave it be. If they are interested, they can always respond to your initial ice break. I wouldn't contact him again until he contacts you.

 

Good luck,

 

Belle

[snowwhite]

I shouldnt have e-mailed or called him in the first place. I just feel like a big fool. Im sure I looked desperate. I wish he hadnt answered any of my e-mails or returned my call. If he saw this as being desperate or stupid, why bother even calling me back, even if he was just trying to be polite? I hope I never run into him, or have to go back to the shop, I would be so embarrased.

[SexySadie7]

I think he might be interested.. after all, he e-mailed back three times to you also.

Besides, he was the one flirting with you, not the other way around, right?

But i'd wait and let him pursue you, if he's going to...

And.. he may well have a gf or wife... it's true.. lots of attached guys flirt with cute girls.. Not nice i know.. but a fact of life.

Just go on with your life, if he does contact then it's icing on the cake. You've not lost anything anyway....

And i think it's cool you contacted him in the first place myself. why does it always have to be the guy to make the first move?

[rachelb]

Definitely wait for him to contact you from now on. You've made it clear you're interested and it seems he might be attracted to you but I really don't know whether he's fully interested. I know lots of guys call back just out of politeness and they would rather do anything than say "I'm not interested". Wait until he calls you. If he doesn't, move on.

 

And I agree with annie24 - I know a lot of guys who are taken and still flirt heaps! Trust me, a lot of guys do. But at the end of the day, it's just flirting and he still goes back to his girlfriend/wife/whatever.

[Pixiemeat]

I honestly hope there's noone out there that's naive enough to think that only single guys flirt - please! It's fun, it can be harmless, and everyone can do it.

 

I've been in this situation a few times before, and I have to tell you - STOP. Don't contact him again. I don't know why he rang you back and I don't care, and neither should you. He could be doing it for a multitude of reasons - he's interested, he wants a bit of no-strings fun, whatever. But he hasn't called back and I'd leave it at that. I once carried on emailing and phoning and came over as a complete nutcase, which, now I think of it, was not an unwarranted reaction. You emailed three times? Come on, just leave it and see what he does. If you can find him, he can find you, and if you're at all important to him he'll get in touch with you. If he doesn't, you've saved yourself a lot of heartache.