I think my cousin might be having a mental disorder, i dunno

[imsoconfuseandlost]

I dunno wut's up with my cousin and she's only 10 years old, just a kid, while im 21, yet give me the creeps, like can of worms. She cares about nothing not anyone, but herself i think, very self-centered and manipulatived i think, but so smart at the same time, yes no telling about that, she's all ms. straight A's, thats all it says on her reports cards almost perfect scores on standarized test, very good in chess and checkers, and well think her IQ is like somewhere b/w 130-150, yes, very high. Ok so i dunno, its like im dealing with a gifted child but at the same time an evil child. Wells thats how she acts whenever I'm there but she doesn't show that with the parents nor when other people in the family are there. I have tried telling them about the bad deeds she does, they don't believe me. I seen and caught her torture defendless stuff and always that stupid grin. Yes often I heard kids are just kids and will be mean at times, but she's gone way to far. So last week I aksed her a question, I told her "What would u like to be when you grow up". Her response really shock me, it was "A criminal mastermind off course." I asked "why is that" repsonse " So I'll always have money when it runs out". She's also set things on fire before but was never caught though. So it's like I don't really know her, like she's two people at once, if she's so smart for her age with a nearly adult level vocabulary, then why doesn't she have any remorse when she does things wrong, smile when she knows wut she's doing is wrong why does she even. I tried to help out by showing her a film on the halocause, about Jews getting exterminated so she can see how these people suffer, I closely payed attention if there was even signs of tears or emotions. To my surprise, she was plain serious and emotionless during the whole film. By the end I was like "Poor people, can u imagine wut they had gone through and their families killed", she say "What about it, maybe they deserve it". So I keep talking to her.

Me: Don't u feel sorry for these people"

Her: Why should I?

Me: Haven't u been even listening to the film?

Her: Yes, I have and I don't feel sorry for them, those people got themselves into that position

Me: What if it was ur parents?

Her: When people die, they die, no going back

Me: But don't u know there's always punishment for bad people

Her: Says who, god, there is no god, no such thing

Me: So wut exactly do you believe in?

Her: In myself

So I stopped, it was useless, anything I say, she always had an answer to it, it didn't felt as if I was arguing with a kid. At this point I dunno wut to do, if im to tell the parents again and the other members in the family, thay won't believe me, they all be saying "That's not true, she's a good girl"

[Dako]

Some kids just don't feel empathy.

At the risk of descending into psychobabble, there is such a thing as Asperger's syndrome. It often turns up among bright children, and symptoms include a lack of feeling for others, self-centered behavior and all the baggage that goes with it. For some reason there's not much written about the effects in adults. Maybe they just become salemen and politicians.

[BellaDonna]

Oh my goodness. I can can see why you'd be concerned.

 

How are her parents? Are they compassionate people?

 

How does she act with other classmates in school?

 

It seems for some reason- that she is extremely desensitized to having any kind of empathy.

 

The most you can do is try to talk to her parents gently. Mention that you were watching the film wiht her and she said the victims "got themselves in that position" and be sure to mention you ask her what she would think if HER OWN PARENTS died and that she said "when people die, they die". Maybe that will raise interest from her parents since she had no emotion in regard to their own death.

 

Wells thats how she acts whenever I'm there but she doesn't show that with the parents nor when other people in the family are there

 

Maybe there is something about you that she feels the need to impress or "be cool". See if you can get another family member (another cousin maybe?) to test her when you're not there and ask the same kinds of questions.

 

But even still, if she was putting on an act in front of you- it's quite disturbing that her imagination could take her as far as to say she does not care about people dying or saying she wants to be a criminal. Usually a child her age would have more productive/normal things to think about.

 

The setting of fires that you mentioned is also very concerning behavior.

 

One other question: How does she treat animals? Does she have any pets? Has she ever tried to hurt an animal?

 

BellaDonna

[BellaDonna]

Symptoms of Asbergers:

 

 

 

This could indeed be one explanation- but a formal diagnostic assessment would have to be conducted by a professional.

 

Or it could be another social impairment- or just an sheltered, eccentric, manipulative child.

 

 

BellaDonna

[Jinx]

Reminds me a lot of a book I was reading recently for Psychology course and research purposes believe it was called High Risk: Children without a Conscience.

 

It was primarily about Unattached children and issues that come along with that problem. If I recall from the content they have no remorse or conscience for their actions. Often are manipulative and cunning, they still have their own deal of charm and social abilities to pursuade people to their way of thinking. They have vocabularies above their age group (in general) but tend to revert back to their childish manners when they have a temper tantrum or other things are not working for them. Some have Pyromaniac tendencies, Torture, Obsessed with death, often it leads back to issues which weren't properly dealt with during their Infant and generalized youth. It goes into Erickson's theories of problems to be resolved from Trust vs. Mistrust and the whole lot. By the sounds they do often end up tending towards crime because they don't have the same thoughts about what should and shouldn't be done. It is almost related to Narcissism (spelling is probably off) in the self centered portion but is beyond that in a good deal of ways.

 

- Is a brief overview of the book.

[ShySoul]

How are her parents? Do they pressure her in any way? Spoil her?

 

Being so smart so young, she may feel pressured into having to be perfect. She may think she is expected to be the good girl all the time, little Ms. Perfect. So she lets out the other side as sort of a rebellion. These things could be signs that she isn't happy about something deep down, but that she can't express it cause to do so would be not living up to the standards she has.

 

I agree with BellaDonna, you need to gently talk with her parents about this. Her actions are dangerous for her and others, and something needs to be done.

[imsoconfuseandlost]

Yes Shysoul I have talked to her parents and other family member, like I say before, they don't believe me, they'll keep saying wut a sweet angel they have. And yes in the house there are rules, whcih she does obey, but when they're not present and I'm there she shows her real side. And yes Donna, I seen her torture and even killed two cats on two different occasions, yes also mutilates frogs, cutting them inside, ouside, but she does it in a orderly way, like she knows it and always had that stupid smile. And also yes, I forgot to mention that yes, we did have Genie (our dog) but he disappear like a long while ago already, like 4 months ago, I'm pretty sure she did something to it, b/c one time she told she hated it and if there was anything she would do was either stab it or give it poison.

[ShySoul]

Ok, this is scary now. It's one thing to act out and the actions are troubling, but that she is so cool and calculated is really alarming. Is there any way you can get proof of what she is doing? If her parents don't believe you, you may need to find a way to get through to them cause this girls actions are very alarming.

[theantibarbie23]

seen her torture and even killed two cats on two different occasions, yes also mutilates frogs, cutting them inside, ouside, but she does it in a orderly way, like she knows it and always had that stupid smile. And also yes, I forgot to mention that yes, we did have Genie (our dog) but he disappear like a long while ago already, like 4 months ago, I'm pretty sure she did something to it, b/c one time she told she hated it and if there was anything she would do was either stab it or give it poison.

 

Your cousin sounds seriously disturbed.

 

If possible have another "chat" with her and be sure to include some of the more disturbing things she has done (IE maiming/killing animals). Be sure to have a video camera or a tape recorder hidden (you can buy a tape recorder for like 20 bucks if there's none around) so that her parents HAVE to acknowledge her behavior.

 

If they still refuse to accept that their daughter needs help you'll have to go above them and tell/show someone outside of your family. I know it would be horrible to get your family angry with you but it's better than giving her the oportunity to possibly to start harming smaller children the way she does animals.

[suprema99]

When you talked to her about the halocaust movie, you had a good chance to bring all this up. Like antibarbie said, have another chat if you can, and this time tell her she better not hurt anymore animals or anything or she could be sent away from her family. She's a kid of 10 years old that needs to be scared herself. You say she acts real with you and not her parents. So you should be the one to tell her what's wrong with her. Maybe she knows no better since her parents are obvlivious to all this. Then inform the parents of what you told her. If they don't believe you now, they'll find out eventually. One way or another. goodluck

[BellaDonna]

And yes Donna, I seen her torture and even killed two cats on two different occasions, yes also mutilates frogs, cutting them inside, ouside, but she does it in a orderly way, like she knows it and always had that stupid smile. And also yes, I forgot to mention that yes, we did have Genie (our dog) but he disappear like a long while ago already, like 4 months ago, I'm pretty sure she did something to it, b/c one time she told she hated it and if there was anything she would do was either stab it or give it poison.

 

How do her parents NOT know that she tortured/killed 2 cats? Didn't she get dirty from it? How did she kill them? If you saw her, did you try to stop her? Don't her parents realize she's carrying around sharp objects and using them to cut frogs? It sounds like she's very unsupervised. What does she do with the bodies of the cats/frogs when she's done with them?

 

It sounds like she has MAJOR issues. Most serial killers started off by hurting or klling animals as children. I agree with the antibarbie: try to get this on tape if her parents will not believe you.

 

BellaDonna

[imsoconfuseandlost]

Yes, I've been thinking of installing a hidden camara, then also when I get to have another chat with her in the afternoon when I come back from college, it'll be recorded. Or I can arrange to take her to a psychologist myself, invent the excuse to the parents that I'm taking her to a ride. So when they're to see the disgnose, then they'll believe it, b/c it never lies. Her parents are so oblivious, they're hard workers also, come home usually at 5p.m but yea, they do let her have kinda like her own freedom I think, since she tends to get away with it, but see, she's a very good liar also, they believe everything she says. The way she killed the two cats, well when I got there, it was too late, they were dead already, she's like always one step ahead, she told me that herself, she was like "well that's like when I'm playing chess, you have to always look one step ahead and search for weakneses." Whenver she does that to the lil things, she'll always covering her hands gloves, she's so organize, so no, she doesn't get dirty, hardly, any, it's like she knows all the steps, one time she told me them, which shock me also. After she killed them cats, she told me "guess where I can get rid of it without anyone ever finding out". So I ask where? She say "Right there don't u see it, the lake"? So see, thats how she gets away with it, she sinks them. Then she puts all the stuff where they belong and cleans them. See wut I mean, it's like the work of an adult, not a kid.

I think I'll go with option 2 first, arrange a meeting with the psychologist. I'll take her myself.

[imsoconfuseandlost]

I also talked to a good friend of mines about this, since she kinda knows a bit about psychologist, she knows this a lil more than I do, I told me the same thing u told me DonnaBelle, that most serial killers like Ted Bundy start off that way, they had no feelings for others when they were children, hurt/killed animals, hurt others, act on impulses and most of them are gifted. She told me those are the true pschopaths as adults, so that scared me, first time im leaning that word, and it's like a demented freak, reminds me of the scare movie Chuckie or Friday the Thirteen. Hope she ever releazes wut she's doning now is wrong, wonder if she'll ever develop feelings, she has no, hardly any, never even seem her cry. The only feelings she showed up was a smile whenever she would do something bad or when she would get angry if I kept arguing with her, telling her that it was worng. One time out of anger, she punch in the shoulder. That was the one time I went back to her childish ways.

[Meow18]

I think the most important thing right now is to try to convince her parents. I find it disturbing that they don't know about it and don't want to believe it. Why would you lie to them about something like this? Anyways, that's what you need to work on doing, whether it's just talking to them over and over, or catching her on camera, or anything. She needs serious and professional help because this is definintely disturbing behavior and her parents are the ones who need to get her this help.

[theantibarbie23]

Or I can arrange to take her to a psychologist myself, invent the excuse to the parents that I'm taking her to a ride. So when they're to see the disgnose, then they'll believe it, b/c it never lies.

 

I'm sorry but this just doesn't sound like a very good plan to me.

 

I don't think you can make appointments for a minor to receive treatment without expressed written parental consent. Aside from that a diagnosis isn't made right away ethier. It can take weeks or longer depending upon how cooperative the patient is with the therepist.

 

She manipulates adults. She's not likely to just come out and act the way she does around you with them. It could take MONTHS before they are even able to get a glimpse of what she's really like.

 

It would be more productive to get proof before you do anything else. You may kick yourself later if you don't.

[ShySoul]

Honestly, why would the parents believe you without proof? Why would any parent believe that their child is doing such things? She's a good liar, and she is smart. Her brains is what is enabling her to fool people, because why would such a gifted person do such bad things? Plus it helps her see how to people are going to react, and thus avoid being caught.

 

I agree, taking her for a test yourself isn't going to work. There is no telling how she is going to react, and she could turn it around on you, getting you in trouble so you don't have the chance to help her as much. Her parents need to see proof.