The ex problem

[Cami]

Is his ex a threat?

I've been seeing this guy for the past week. I really like him, but I'm a bit worried about the situation with his ex. Their r good friends (as opposed to me and my ex). There are text messages from her on his phone - I can deal with that. They are involved with a lot of stuff together at uni - I can just aout deal with that. The other nite one of her mates texted him saying his ex was walking home alone and he phoned her to check if she got home okay and prob would go to wherever she was and walk her home if need be - isnt that a bit too much for someone that's ur ex. Most guys wouldnt do that for a 'friend.' He says how could he not be friends with someone he cared a lot about at one point (they went out for 4 and a half months and it was his first serious relationship). He had a bust up with one of his friends cos is friend said he's too nice to his ex. I mena even he's angry at her cos she broke up with him because 'he was too nice.' Also, he doesnt talk about her too much, he will mention her here and there. Am I worrying for no reason? Am I just being a paranoid girl? The thing is I dont want to be a rebound - been there done that. Yeah okay he's a caring person, but...Please let me know what u think. Thanks. xxxx

[Bethany]

Seeing as you have only been together a week, I would take this to be that he's not over her yet, and if it were me, next time she texts him or gets in touch I'd say something like, 'Hey, I can see that there is something still happening between you both and I should leave you two to sort it out so get back to me if/when your ready because I dont want to be in the middle of something, see you around.

Look after yourself and don't be used or get in the middle of someone elses relationship. It does sound like he's still running after her and you need to walk away until he and you are sure that its completely over.

[lovemycoffee41]

I'm with Bethany.

 

He's still into her. You are the rebound or the making her jealous thing, yada yada yada. It may work out with yall in time, once he's ready to move on, but right now he's still into her, which isn't fair to you in anyway.

[RescueDiver]

Is his ex a threat?

with him because 'he was too nice.' Also, he doesnt talk about her too much, he will mention her here and there. Am I worrying for no reason? Am I just being a paranoid girl? The thing is I dont want to be a rebound - been there done that. Yeah okay he's a caring person, but...Please let me know what u think. Thanks. xxxx

 

No, you're not worrying for no reason, I learned a pretty hard lesson this past week that ex's can be a threat for a lot longer than you think. You need to be real careful because if his ex- comes back to him wanting to get back together... it may be really really hard for him to turn her away. Simply because getting back what was taken away from you at one point can prove to be irresistible.

 

The gal I was recently dating went back to her ex- after they had been broken up for 6 months. She broke up with him back in April because he had a drug problem and she couldn't start a family with someone that did that so she presented him with a choice between her and the drugs and he chose the drugs. Well, a short time ago (after she and I were already dating) he told her he wanted a second chance... and ditched the drugs. So after spending two weeks trying to decide between the two of us she went back to him even though she liked me a lot too. Anyway, like in your case, these two maintained a friendship over those past six months (they also work at the same company). Plus the she never really talked about this guy much either so I assumed she was over him. So when this all went down it caught me completely by surprise.

 

If you want to read the whole thread :

 

All I can say is be careful.