why am i feeeling like this..holidays?

[sukerbut]

i have been pretty good lately..positive..feeling good..but starting last week..the thoughts of her have started to consume me..i dont know why? i mean i have been on the up..for a good month...and then bang i just hit a wall and have just really been overwheled my hopeless feeling for her...i have been flirting with a super fine at the gym (goign out with her next friday)..things are looking up..getting inot real great shape..and now i feel worst than the first day of the break up! i have been good with the no contact on my part but like an idiot when she calls i pick up..she did not call this week but she did call last week and the week before...i know i should not pick up..ut like an idiot i think she is going to say i miss you..but of course that never happens...now i think subconsiously i am waiting for her to call so when she does not it affects me...its weird cause when we talk i feel good after i hang up..but i think that is me thinking stupid thoughts about getting back together..but then a couple off days later thatswhn it hits me..plus the dam holidays..all my stupid cousins..sow hows your girl? oh were is she? is she ok? just shut up already and leave me alone..is it the holidays? or is it me being stubborn and not implementing no contact when she calls..i already know the answer and you guys have heard this saab story before but i little NC boost replies my help the moral...oh like an moron i sent her an thanksgiving e-card also...I KNOW i know!

[Bethany]

NO Contact NO contact NO contact.

Instead look forward to meeting this super fine who is just dying to spend time with you. Even if it doesnt work out, at least you were out there and moving on.

Doh @ the thanksgiving card but use this now to see where you have been going wrong and how it just drags you back in. Be strong.

[ratherbesailing]

sukerbut -

 

Definitely NC but don't beat yourself up too much, it is natural to have ups and downs after a break up. It sounds like maybe you kept the low contained in the beginning and this is just one of the aftershocks. Give it a bit more time, you will still have good and bad days but each time you have a low period it won't be as bad as the one before and eventually the new girlfriend will take your mind off your ex completely.

[Relationship Coach]

PUT THE GARLIC BACK AROUND YOUR NECK! NC or she will continue to suck the life out of you! You have been doing well and when you answer her calls you are putting her in control and showing her you are weak. Move forward and stop looking in the rear view mirror! Why would you even want to hear "I Miss You" from her? That warm fuzzy feeling you get after you talk to her is her venom spreading through your veins! NO CONTACT is your only chance to LIVE!

[nataliejulie]

I blame it on the holidays. Every time I see a stupid holiday commercial I want to barf.

 

Keep strong, sweetheart. You are doing just fine.

[Shadows Light]

It could very well be the Holidays getting you down. Reminicing about what once was and what could have been... the holidays are good for this.

 

In some "older" religions... the Winter Holidays were a time to reminice about whats passed. To go through the baggage and see what was good and what was bad. And to plan for the coming year of what could be.

 

Instead of staying in a perpetual holding pattern of what was.... take from it the good, look for what could have been better and PLAN on the future.... think of the SUPER FINE you have plans with next weekend and think of how you are going to sweep her off her feet.

 

Think about...given the chance, how are you going to make a difference in her holidays and the laughs, fun and giggles you can both enjoy. Be fair to her and put 100% of your head into her. It is the best gift you can give a girl... 100% of your attention.

 

NC NC NC NC NC NC...with the former love. Each day will get a bit easier. Look at the THANKSGIVING card as a way of saying good-bye..and Thank-you for all the good times we had. Thanks for the memories. Time to move on.

[sukerbut]

thank you all..i need that moral boost sometimes...yes she is a monster and her venom is very very potent...there is a reason why i dedicated teh song man eater to her...she is liek the black widow. i just wish i did not have a history with her

once again thank you for all the replys

[Relationship Coach]

The history you can only regret, not control. The future you can control and she can regret. It's your turn to be happy.

[nataliejulie]

The history you can only regret, not control. The future you can control and she can regret. It's your turn to be happy.

 

One of the best quotes I've seen here.=D>

[chaos]

Here's a good rule of thumb. When she calls, let it go to voicemail. When you listen to the voicemail... Unless she's apologizing and wanting to work things out, don't call back. She's just trying to get you to make her feel better, so she doesn't have to feel guilty. Well, that's not your job anymore.

 

I've been getting down a bit too. The holidays are generally pretty depressing to begin with, on top of that, it's hard to be without someone you care about. Just remember, once we get through New Years, we're clear until the dreaded Valentines Day.

[theHeat]

Sukerbut, I know EXACTLY how you feel. When I made the mistake of talking to my ex again, i also felt really good immediately afterwards. I would over analyze things and think, "Maybe she does want to get back together." It's simply delusional. A few days later, I would feel like crap, maybe even worse than before. After a few times of this happening, you'll eventually just call it quits yourself, because you realize it really brings you nothing but more problems. I realized that when she called, especially during the holidays 1) She's lonely and needs someone convenient to talk to (this is especially true when she calls, you talk, then you don't get another call for a week or two). 2) She wants to make herself feel better by making sure you guys are "friends" so she won't have to deal with the guilt of how bad she wronged you. 3) She is probably thinking of the holidays she spent with you, meaning she is probably miserable herself. Good. F her misery. Don't give her the satisfaction of talking to her. Especially if you think she's using you as a convenience.

 

The holidays are real bad, bro. Especailly the first one after the breakup. You can get through it. Keep up the work at the gym, and take that hottie out and show her good time!