I just need to get this out

[spencerbandit88]

Hey, I havn't posted in a while, but here is my problem

My g/f and I have been together for 14 months (14 month anniversary on saturday ) she's a junior and i'm a senior in high school . She is part of this drum/bugle corps and when it's season for it I almost always get the feeling that she's cheating on me, even though she has told me she would never cheat on me, and the fact that they go on a tour during the summer doesn't help me any. I feel like I'm being pushed off to the side for this whole thing. Well their new season is coming up, I really want to spend this summer together with her, and they are talking about a full summer tour...which means no summer with her. AND I'm looking at this school that would be about a 14 drive from home, so during school time it would be hard for me to see her. I'm thinking about breaking up over this whole thing. She is my first g/f and I love her more than anything, my car, paintballing, my bird, music, my job, anything...ANYTHING.

 

Thanks for letting me get this out I just really needed some place I could express my feeling. Maybe get someone to help me get things straight.

 

Thanks so much to anyone who can help

spencerbandit88

 

I've got tears in my eyes, thats how much this is ripping me up.

[brahman]

honestly, its just a summer. i would just deal with it. what does she say about you not wanting her to go. haave you made your feelings clear.

 

sounds like you have alot of trust issues with this girl, has she ever done anything besides cheat to make you think she would lie at random? sorry to burst your bubble, but the first girlfriend you ever had doesnt work out about 99% of the time.

[spencerbandit88]

Well it's only been a feeling, I mean with her chating on me. She has done no lying that would really support it all. And as far as it only being a summer, I have problems with separation, most of the times. She went on tour last year for only a few weeks, I was a total basket case. Then to make things worse we left on family torture...I mean family vacation, a few days after she got back, she would of come with us be she had a parade to march in, turned down an almost free vacation for marching. Plus this summer I'm almost sure i'll be moving out of state, from Eastern Washington to Southeastern Wyoming.

 

As far as first relationships, almost everyone I have talked to theirs has only lasted a week if that, mine 14 months. I really want this to go through.

 

spencerbandit88

[brahman]

i still gotta ask exactly what she feels about the whole deal?

 

have you made it clear to her that you dont want her to go?

 

and maybe this is her drea, and you shouldnt hold her back from her dream. i know it sounds like im defending her and putting you down but i dont know the whole story and you have even said your feelings have nothing behind them but paranoia.

 

hope everything works out for you though.

[bsp_kjm]

unless you have proof that she is cheating on you, dont confront her about it.

 

My ex of almost 3 years went on several trips to Mexico with her family, and she was usually gone for about 3 weeks. Due to being cheated on in the past in other relationships, I was always paranoid when my gf was gone for such long periods of time. I look back now and wish I hadnt been so paranoid. Dont let the paranoia get to you man, it only drives them away.

[spencerbandit88]

unless you have proof that she is cheating on you, dont confront her about it.

 

My ex of almost 3 years went on several trips to Mexico with her family, and she was usually gone for about 3 weeks. Due to being cheated on in the past in other relationships, I was always paranoid when my gf was gone for such long periods of time. I look back now and wish I hadnt been so paranoid. Dont let the paranoia get to you man, it only drives them away.

 

Yeah i've been tring to do that, not letting paranoia get in my way.

As far as talking to her about not the drum/bugle corps thing yeah i've talked to her about me wanting her to stay, but I still think she's going to go.

 

And actually it looks like I might not be moving to go to that school I wanted to go to, turns out student loans are no longer available and the parents have to take out a loan for their kid to go through school, and my dad is going to hold that fact against me to try and get me to go into the armed forces (which I really don't want to do, bad knees, back, neck, and wrist)

 

But i'm going to talk with her more about not wanting her to go.

 

thanks

 

spencerbandit88

[brahman]

well i guess on the girlfriend issue your going to have to figure out what you want to do, but as far as the military is concerned then you should act like hell durting those physicals,

 

oh ouch my back, my knees feel like they are going to go, 15 minute mile, shortness of breath, feels dizzy after 5 minutes of running. constant headaches.

 

if you do it right you right the doctor will sign off on you that you are not eligible.

[spencerbandit88]

well i guess on the girlfriend issue your going to have to figure out what you want to do, but as far as the military is concerned then you should act like hell durting those physicals,

 

oh ouch my back, my knees feel like they are going to go, 15 minute mile, shortness of breath, feels dizzy after 5 minutes of running. constant headaches.

 

if you do it right you right the doctor will sign off on you that you are not eligible.

 

The only problem with the last part of that is my doctor is a total quack. A few Decembers ago I messed up my knee, after about 30 of getting it check the only thing he could say it, "You need to join a sport like football or wrestling" hmm...it's DECEMBER, 20 degress out side, yeah i'm going to go play football. Then the first time I played something like football after that visit I got stuck out on my friends front lawn, when the person we were waiting for showed up and in the car with him was his mom's friend (an ex nurse) and she told me exactly what happened in about 3 minutes. Is what happened is I dislocated my knee cap. So for sports I stick to the ones I enjoy, shooting, paintballing, archery, mountain biking.

 

spencerbandit88

[brahman]

lol, i thought the military had there own docters that perform there own physicals?