having a hard time trying to finf the time to tell her

[brahman]

i have decided to break up with my girl and i dont want to do it over the phone. and well today is thanksgiving and i dont want to do it on thanksgiving because i know her and she will hate me twice as much for it.

 

we didnt see each other yesterday and wont on friday, so i figure saturday would be good. i just feel weird. i dont really know if i want help i just wanted to talk.

[arwen]

Just be honest. If you read the forum, you might have noticed that a lot of people suffer the most from not knowing why the break up happened, or when it happened disrespectfully (like over the phone). Are you going to see her tomorrow? I think in retrospect, she will KNOW that you have contemplated a break up anyway, and it would be worse to have a thanksgiving together first and THEN break up. Then I would ask to meet her today and say you want to talk. Most of us will already know that 'I need to talk' means not the most positive thing.

 

Ilse

[Hawk]

Is it ever a good time, but sounds like you have made you mind up so in fairness to her do it as quickly as you can. And please, as everyone on this forum who has been on the recieving end will tell you, once you have delivered the message then leave the poor girl alone to let her get on with her life.

[brahman]

wow, i just did it. first time i cried since i was 13.

[arwen]

Wow brahman. I think it was wise of you to not procrastinate. It hurts the other person as well, especially when festive days are near.

 

Are you ok? It's never an easy thing to break up

 

Take care and take hawk's advice... leave her alone to heal.

 

Ilse

[onmyownagain]

You didn't do it on the phone in the end did you?

[brahman]

actually i did, she called me after i made this post. i just told her what i was thinking. she said she was thinking the same thing but i am her best friend and she doesnt want to loose me. and even though i was prepared to leave her alone she still wants to spend thanksgiving with me.

[brahman]

sry for the double post, but i just felt tyhe need to say, i have never kept a girlfriend through the holidays.

[Hawk]

brahman - I know she said she wants to spend the holiday with you, but think about why she wants to do it - she is hanging on - it's up to you but I think you are best to leave her alone.

[brahman]

yeah it was kinda bad, we were planning to go outside the house and do something besides hang out in my room. but we went to my room to get something and as soon as we got there we just sat down and looked at each other for a while.

 

she cried for a long time. i felt fine up until the point when i tried to talk. then i started to cry. i decided to stop talking. a little later she was still crying and i moved a little closer to her to rub her back as i do when she is sad and then she hugged me and i started balling like a baby. it wasnt pretty.

 

long story short, i figure if it makes me this sad to leave then i probly shouldnt leave just yet.

 

im all confused, i dont know what to think now.

[Hawk]

Are you sure about that - of course you are going to feel bad because at one point this person meant something really special to you - but if you honestly don't think you can fix the relationship then you are just going to hurt the oth of you more by not leaving yet.