Best friend dramas!!!!

[Aussieguy]

I have been best friends with this girl for over 2yrs now, we knew each other before we were best friends, but after my gf of 3yrs broke up with me i found it easy to talk to her and naturally we became very close and best friends.

 

Just as we became best friends she starting seeing this guy (they only just broke up 3 months ago) who i and all of her friends didn't like, he was controlling and everything else that goes with it. She cheated on him numerous times with 4 different guys over the 18 months or so they were together which i hated but sort of understand why she did. Whenever we went out together it was always without him because she knew i didnt like him and vice versa when she went out somewhere with him, thereforeeee i had very minimal contact with him and hence never really saw them together eg kissing, hugging etc.

 

Anyway throughout the first year of being best friends whenever she got drunk she would come onto me and i would always have to reject her as i didnt feel the same way about her plus she had the bf and i have morals, but after about a year i went through a phase where i thought i had feelings for her and at one stage i couldn't stand her being with this guy and told her i had feelings for her and i didnt think i could be friends with her anymore, which left her very upset. A couple of days later we met up and talked about alot of things and i realised i didnt really have feelings for her and we stayed best friends and still are to this day.

 

Ok now 3 months ago she broke up with the guy and about 3 weeks later starting seeing someone else who i think is a great guy and we get along great, but because of this i always see him and her together and we have less time to spend alone together compared to before. Anyway i think i am becoming jealous of him even though i am not a jealous person by nature and i am pretty sure i dont have feelings for her. Also i sometimes think that i shouldn't have rejected her advances in the past and in the last couple of weeks i sometimes fantasise about us having sex, because every guy she has been really close with in her life she has had sex with except me although i never really saw her that way and never wanted to in the past. I think it is because our relationship has everything a normal bf/gf relationship has except for the intimacy.

 

Sorry for the long post but any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated.

[Alabama]

It sounds like you really like this girl. It bugged when she was in a relationship, that you couldn't spend time with her. It still bugs you now. If your feelings keep growing, than you might have to tell her...again. You said you already have and things are okay now. But sometimes things can get out of proportion. Or if you don't want these feelings, than look for someone else. I am sure if you don't think about it and concentrate on something else, they will go away. It's your choice. Good luck.

[Aussieguy]

Hi Alabama,

 

Thanks for your reply.

 

The thing is i am pretty sure i don't have any romantic feelings for her, i just feel sometimes like i'm not her best friend which is really stupid cause i know i am and i know she loves me, its just really confusing!!!!

[Alabama]

You don't sound like your jealous of this guy, but I'm guessing you miss spending time with your friend. The fact that she is with a 'new' best friend, or so to speak, you feel that your not her best friend, right? Talk to her about this. Or just enjoy the time your spending with her.