First post: Decided to give personal Intro.

[Heartless01]

Hello to everyone.

 

I joined mostly on impulse, but also to attempt many discussions of differing topics within this type of forum. I thought that would be at least a start on my self improvement as I am unable to afford therapy.

 

I listed the basics in my member profile, but if you are a forum person similar to myself and actually read profiles, feel free to ask any question you like.

 

So, I am a 38 year old female, married 19 years off and on (long story for a different thread), bisexual, and mother of two wonderful children (boy 9, girl 8). I am currently in a bad financial situation that has lead me and mine to be in the same home with my abusers (this situation I made from desperation, lack of planning, and other issues at the time and I blame no one but myself on this)

 

During my life, from 5 years old on, I have been on the receiving end of many types of abuse, all of it from my paternal/maternal "family members". I did not "recover" these memories. I was aware of it from day one, and never repressed any of it.

 

I am in the process of improving my own actions toward others, setting boundaries on my abusers instead of tolerating or making excuses for them as has been my habit, attempting to live the most healthy functional and positive life I can, and trying to identify the source of my unhealthy and sometimes abusive behavior.

 

I am opinionated, yet reasonable on most things. I often get labeled "intolerant", and I am on some things that appear to me justifiable. I am able to accept responsibility for my own transgressions, either immediately or after reflection. I am also trying total honesty with every person I encounter as well as stating my opinions when asked without feeling guilty for those opinions.

 

I DO have certian expectations that I believe reasonable

I do not continue discussion with people who make assumptions without first making the effort to clarify or ask questions in order to gain more understanding.

 

I do not give any weight to any assertion that lacks factual evidence or basis. EX: Telling me what I should do, feel or think on any topic that has been proven otherwise, suggest therapies proven on multiple instances of being harmful, or wrong.

 

If I offend you. Tell me why, and give me the chance to talk about it.

 

I have zero tolerance for: Habitual excuses, passive tolerance of abusers, racisim, reliance on religion, reactionaries, fairytales, lies, and other things.

 

I hope to have many discussions here.

 

Thank you

[OmegaMan]

That seems like reasonable expectations, I would say.

That´s the thing with a advice. I personaly believe it has to be has "light" as possible. Just a hint of wisdom, experience. Then the other person goes from there.

 

Welcome.

[Heartless01]

That seems like reasonable expectations, I would say.

That´s the thing with a advice. I personaly believe it has to be has "light" as possible. Just a hint of wisdom, experience. Then the other person goes from there.

 

Welcome.

 

Thank you for the welcome!

 

You may or may not have any idea how many abuse forums and chat are actually abusive or hateful to members.

 

I rarely give advice to anyone except in situations that may lead to probable (not possible) bodily harm. I am wary of the consequences possible due to advice that was followed and I already have guilt issues. HAHAHAHA

 

I will state my opinion, and give what I believe to be valuable resources of information or direct help. That said....

 

I will now be browsing the forum since one of my passive abusers has decided keeping everyone awake with loud dramatic efforts to gain attention. Sigh....It never ends with some people.

[darkblue]

Hi, and welcome to enotalone, Heartless01.

 

You sound like a very pleasant, open and honest person.

I look forward to seeing your future postings on the board, and hope you feel comfortable enough to share your own problems in a separate thread.

 

Once again, welcome!

And PM me if there is anything I can do for you.

[Heartless01]

Hi, and welcome to enotalone, Heartless01.

 

You sound like a very pleasant, open and honest person.

I look forward to seeing your future postings on the board, and hope you feel comfortable enough to share your own problems in a separate thread.

 

Once again, welcome!

And PM me if there is anything I can do for you.

 

Hi Darkblue and ty for the warm welcome and high compliment.

 

Openness is the only way I have been able to cope, resolve conflict and eliminate possible conflict. I am not nor will ever claim to be perfect (or even close) and I have been quite the repulsive specimen in my time and been ashamed of my own behavior, but I do try as humanly possible to be honest.

 

Yes definitely I will be sharing ALL my stuff with this place. It could never fit in one post I promise you.

 

This is going to actually serve multiple purposes for me. I hope that I am heard if for no other reason than I have expressed myself, admitted my own faults, and without having to create drama, screaming, etc.

 

Again..ty so much for your words

[darkblue]

I highly admire people whom are open. They some of the few people worthy of total trust.

 

I look forward to reading your future posts.

Again; if you need anything, you know how to reach me.