Confusion

[nadine_3110]

I was so mad, me and my bf broke up in the second week of October, my birthday is on the 31st of October. I invited him to my birthday party at a bar (I know this was a bad idea, that's not the issue here). And he brought this girl he works with, she said that they weren't going out or anything. But when he came into the bar, I expected at least a 'happy birthday' from him, but he didn't even talk to me, and I was the one who started talking to him. To show him that I'm still not completely obsessed with him. Well he had bought that girl a rose, a rose!!! What the hell? They weren't even going out and he bought her a flower! Why did he do this? To make me jealous? Angry? Well I definitely got angry, and jealous afterwards, but I was too drunk to care at that point.

 

He kinda ignored me at the beginning of the night, until I talked to him first. What was he trying to do? Was he scared that I'd start yelling at him? Cus I'm not like that, and I thought he'd know that by now. My friend told me that he might have been ignoring me because he still has feelings for me. Is that true?

 

Here's a bit of the story: He was the one who said that he had too much stuff on his mind, what with his work, bills, family, he said he needed time. So we went on a break, then I got so fed up, I was going crazy, so I called him, and he said that he thought we shouldn't see each other anymore. And I was so mad (really angry this time) that I told him that I thought that was a good idea, but I would still like to be friends. Oh and we've known each other for, um, let's see... about 3 or 4 years. He liked me when we went to school together, but ppl discouraged him to ask me out. So then we went out for three months when I had just graduated from high school. My other friend also said that if I feel this strongly about it, I should find out if he has feelings for me. So I want to know if all this makes sense, and if anyone has any advice about this.

[thegirl_00]

How long have you guys been going out for? A lot of those things do sound like he's trying to make you jealous. To tell you the truth, he seems kinda rude to me. You invited him to come and see you on your bday but he doesn't even say hey or anything. Seems a little strange. I would defenitly day he's tryin to make u jealous, but i wouldn't get too mad about it.

[kellbell]

Hey there girl!

 

I remember your post from before. Ok, this guy is a jerk plain and simple. He is passive aggressive. His behavior at your birthday was just herendous. At least he could have said Happy Birthday. But he didn't. He broke up with you either because he was interested in someone else or he just didn't want to be in the relationship with you. There isn't any other way to explain his behavior. I have to disagree with your friend with her saying he still has feelings for you and that is why he is acting like this. No way, no respectable man who has feelings for someone would treat a lady like that. Forget him, don't invite him anywhere anymore, and talk to plenty of men. Sorry about your birthday. Take care and good luck.

[WyseOne]

It was nice of you to invite your ex, I wasn't even invited to my ex's birthday gathering when we were together even though her friends boyfriends were invited that is how important I was to her.

 

It was wrong of him to act the way he did and no one really knows what he was thinking. I would ask him what his intentions were and if you want him back all I can suggest is let him know. Could it be possible he left you for this other girl?

[nadine_3110]

we went out for three months, and he was my first bf, so obviously i'll have a hard time letting go. But I don't think I should talk to him just yet, I want to try the no contact thing for a while. To heal, to think, ect... Yes he was being a jerk, and I really think he was trying to make me jealous, and I'm sad to say that it kinda worked. It makes sense that he might have left me for that other girl, I met her and she's really nice.

[kellbell]

No man who truly cares about you, although he broke up with you, would go out of their way to hurt you and make you jealous, especially on your birthday. Now that he is with someone else, it's best you don't talk to him or try to hang out with him anymore.

[WyseOne]

Nadine I am so sorry to hear that. Was there any intimacy?

Unfortunately there are too many guys out there that don't care about peoples feelings, always looking for something better. They get involved with someone, get to know them and then something else catches their eye and they think they are better off. I agree, he is not worth the time if that is what he did.

 

Did he give off any signs when you were together that there may be another party involved?

[nadine_3110]

Well it depends how you define intimacy, we kissed and did other things, not sex though, but now that I think back on it, we never really talked about our feelings. I tried to once, to tell him that I didn't want to lose him and he pretty much just said, 'don't worry,' so then I got scared of telling him how I felt and I didn't bring it up again. But I know I should have, live and learn I guess. But I guess we could have been more intimate, I just don't really know what that is because I'm new at relationships.

[WyseOne]

I was referring to sex. Give yourself a pat on the back for not letting it get that far and move on.

Did he ever bring it up? how much time did you spend together?

[nadine_3110]

I was just not ready for sex, I'd rather be with the guy for longer than three months before I have sex. But should I have pushed him to tell me his feelings? And I will move on...eventually... right now, I gotta talk about it. And to answer your question Wyse guy, he didn't give any hints that there was someone else that he was involved with. He's not a cheater, that's for sure.

[WyseOne]

Good for you.

Okay what you need to understand is you did nothing wrong. Pushing for him to tell you his feelings wouldn't have been very effective. Look at how he acted, do you honestly think you could have believed his feelings even if he told you? Do you think it would have prevented him from leaving?

 

Okay I believe you, he's not a cheater.