Got a question on a girl situation

[FrustratedForLife]

Ok well first off try to bear with me this is gonnna be purty long but I hope that someone takes the time to read it.

 

First off ok I have this friend thats a girl her name is mandy anyhow mandy and i met like 3 years ago and we have grown to become pretty close friends at one time i wanted it to be more then friends but that feeling faded and were just very very close friends, i'd call her my best friend and i think that shed call me hers to but who knows i suppose. Anyhow i've always hung out with and around all of her friends as well. Mandy and I as we like to say are like brother and sister, we can talk to each other bout just about anything and tell each other just about everything. That i have figured out where i stand with her but anyhow on to one of mandys friends this is where i get confused....

 

Ok well mandys one friend is jacque anyhow mandy and jacque are seniors in high school this year and i'm on my 2nd year of college however i hang out with that age group of friends the most. anyhow back when i was a senior i always thought that jacque was really pretty but back in highschool with me she seemed really stuck up and i never liked that about her. However really i never did know her so i was wrong in judging whether she was stuck up or not. Anyhow last winter Jacque started hanging out with us more going to town and stuff with mandy and our group of friends and i started to realize how nice she was and not stuck up at all. Shes really a very nice and thoughtful caring person....however it always seemed she picked some of the worst boyfriends ever i mean she picked some crazy ones thats for sure. Well all summer her and mandy work at a racetrack where i race my car and I really got to talk to jacque alot and get to know her.

Soo anyhow in late summer i hung out with jacque a couple times goin out for icecream and stuff like that and it seemed like it might go further but then she started hangin out with another guy...well i slightly gave up and here i found another girl to my liking anyhow. Well when i first started dating this girl jacque seemed really interested if we were actually going out...(i think that jacque was wondering if i was still free). Anyhow i went out with this gurl and while i was doing that she met another guy and started going out with him. Well my "girlfriend" decided to run off with my one buddy so that didn't go to well and i don't really care because she wasnt worth my time....but anyhow jacque and this other dude continue to date. However jacque is always calling me and talking to me about how much she thinks there not suppose to be together and how he ignores her and changes plans all the time so he can do stuff with his guy friends....I really would like to have a chance with her and i think i may but i just wish shed give him up because he is not doing anything worthwhile for there relationship....as far as I can see he wants to call her "HIS OWN" but yet does not want the relationship...this bothers me because i can see jacque and i having and actual relationship... For the past couple weekends shes been calling me and hanging out with me alot and shes like man i hang out with u alot and u call me more then my own boyfriend does. And you know in my head i'm thinkin like ya no kiddin what does that tell ya. Anyhow i think shes finally gettin accross that hes a jerk and this week shes been callin me about every night and she said that since hes such a jerk and already blew the plans for this saturday that she wants to go out with me saturday night and that i should be her boyfriend for the night....This sounds good to me and from what i get i think she likes me and is about ready to give up on her bf.

The only thing that confuses me is that i have such a brother/sister relationship with mandy that i worry alot that any other girl that likes me might just like me as a brother. So thereforeeee when we go out this saturday night i don't know how to treat her. I try to get the point accross that i like her but i don't wanna do sumthin outrages if she just likes me like a brother...I dunno i think i just worry to much....welll actually i know i worry to much but anyhow....What does everyone else think? Anyhow i suppose thats all i have...thanks to anyone who reads all this and responds

[Reilly2856]

I dont' really see how your relationship with mandy has anything to do with how Jacque might feel about you. I mean, you and mandy went out one time, and sure you both talk a lot....but I'm sure that Jacque sees that just because it didn't work with mandy and you,....it just didnt'. Things turn out the way it do just because. I'm not sure I'm getting my point accross very well ...hmm...basically, I don't think she'd suggest you being her bf for the night, if she thought of you as the brotherly sort..

 

I'd say, treat this like a semi-date. Show her your interested, probe a bit to see how she feels about her bf and if she'd be willing to be with someone who treats her better...and just see how the night goes.

[PocoDiablo]

Ok well first off try to bear with me this is gonnna be purty long but I hope that someone takes the time to read it.

Read what? Huh? You wrote something?

 

First off ok I have this friend thats a girl her name is mandy anyhow mandy and i met like 3 years ago and we have grown to become pretty close friends at one time i wanted it to be more then friends but that feeling faded and were just very very close friends,

Congrats for not being stuck on a woman who just wants to be friends. I think this is one of the first times I've seen a man come to this conclusion, and it is wonderful. Really.

 

i'd call her my best friend and i think that shed call me hers to but who knows i suppose. Anyhow i've always hung out with and around all of her friends as well. Mandy and I as we like to say are like brother and sister, we can talk to each other bout just about anything and tell each other just about everything. That i have figured out where i stand with her but anyhow on to one of mandys friends this is where i get confused....

Uh oh!

 

Ok well mandys one friend is jacque anyhow mandy and jacque are seniors in high school this year and i'm on my 2nd year of college however i hang out with that age group of friends the most. anyhow back when i was a senior i always thought that jacque was really pretty but back in highschool with me she seemed really stuck up and i never liked that about her. However really i never did know her so i was wrong in judging whether she was stuck up or not. Anyhow last winter Jacque started hanging out with us more going to town and stuff with mandy and our group of friends and i started to realize how nice she was and not stuck up at all. Shes really a very nice and thoughtful caring person....

Okay, she's hot, she's very nice, thoughtful, all good.

 

however it always seemed she picked some of the worst boyfriends ever i mean she picked some crazy ones thats for sure.

I suspect this may be the reason. First off, depending on how hot she is, she may suffer from "Pretty girl syndrome." What this is is where average guys will not ask her out. Much like how you blew her off as stuck up, so do other guys - other normal guys. As a result, the only guys who ask her out are the over-aggressive whack-jobs who hit on anything that moves. In my experience, the hotter the woman, the less often she gets hit on. Okay, keep this in mind for later. I'm building to a point.

 

Well all summer her and mandy work at a racetrack where i race my car and I really got to talk to jacque alot and get to know her.

Good, but you may be friend-zoning yourself with behavior like that. Although, from what you wrote next it seems like you're actually doing okay!

 

Soo anyhow in late summer i hung out with jacque a couple times goin out for icecream and stuff like that and it seemed like it might go further

But you didn't ask her out did you? "Seemed like" means "I wished" and unless you ask, usually nothing happens.

 

but then she started hangin out with another guy...well i slightly gave up and here i found another girl to my liking anyhow.

You probably didn't know it at the time, but this is one of the best ways to get a woman's attention!

 

Well when i first started dating this girl jacque seemed really interested if we were actually going out...(i think that jacque was wondering if i was still free).

You bet she was! You just proved you were a virile man, that you had an adult side, and that you were on the market. Now that you were off the market she realized you were a commodity, and woman want the best - they want what other women have. You made yourself more desirable by becoming less available. (Remember this guys!)

 

Anyhow i went out with this gurl and while i was doing that she met another guy and started going out with him. Well my "girlfriend" decided to run off with my one buddy so that didn't go to well and i don't really care because she wasnt worth my time

Awesome frame of mind. Why would you waste time on a woman like that. You know, you really are a NATURAL at this. You are doing everything right, and don't even know it (do you?)

 

....but anyhow jacque and this other dude continue to date. However jacque is always calling me

Actions speak louder than words. She is calling you. This means she is thinking about you. This is a big signal.

 

and talking to me about how much she thinks there not suppose to be together

Um, yeah, okay sister... she's playing you on this one. If she really felt that way, she'd dump him. She has ulterior motives. I will get to that in a second because you WILL like it.

 

and how he ignores her and changes plans all the time so he can do stuff with his guy friends....

Ah, he - like you were - is unavailable. He is also unpredictable. He is a CHALLENGE and she loves it! Women hate being bored. This is why she is dating these crazy guys - it's because they keep her on her toes. None of this boring ice cream at the racetrack days... they take her to crazy places and screw with her mind. She enjoys the drama, it hypnotizes her. This is very powerful. It can also be a warning sign - she is going to require a lot of entertainment to keep happy. This is not my type of long term woman for that very reason.

 

I really would like to have a chance with her and i think i may but i just wish shed give him up because he is not doing anything worthwhile for there relationship....as far as I can see he wants to call her "HIS OWN" but yet does not want the relationship...this bothers me because i can see jacque and i having and actual relationship... For the past couple weekends shes been calling me and hanging out with me alot and shes like man i hang out with u alot and u call me more then my own boyfriend does.

Yeah, she's hinting. But you have not done anything so exciting that she wants to dump him, either. Are you always available? Still single? You should try to make a point to miss a few of her calls, make her wait before you call her back, and if she asks what you did you let her know you went out with a friend. Girl friend? Don't tell her, make her wonder. It's fun for her!

 

And you know in my head i'm thinkin like ya no kiddin what does that tell ya. Anyhow i think shes finally gettin accross that hes a jerk and this week shes been callin me about every night and she said that since hes such a jerk and already blew the plans for this saturday that she wants to go out with me saturday night

Heavy date night. This probably has significance. She is probably looking for more - for a real date.

 

and that i should be her boyfriend for the night....

What does this mean? Does she want you to pay her way but then go home to him for sex? Or does she want the whole deal? You cannot ask her this, you have to figure it out.

 

This sounds good to me and from what i get i think she likes me and is about ready to give up on her bf.

I would strongly recommend that you make a move on date night. You should tell her something like "You know, you should dump your boyfriend and start seeing me. I promise to treat you at least as bad as he does, and maybe even answer the phone every once in a while." (Be confident, flirty, funny but serious, too.) You absolutely have to go for a goodnight kiss to see where you are with her, and so she knows what your intentions are. Just lean over half way and see if she reciprocates when the moment is right - like when the date ends.

 

The only thing that confuses me is that i have such a brother/sister relationship with mandy that i worry alot that any other girl that likes me might just like me as a brother. So thereforeeee when we go out this saturday night i don't know how to treat her.

You treat her like a guy friend. Tell her she smells funny. Tell her she's too picky about whatever she's eating (or whatever.) Pick on her. Make fun of things. Have a joking good time.

 

I try to get the point accross that i like her but i don't wanna do sumthin outrages if she just likes me like a brother

Trying is not doing. YOU MUST ASK HER TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Never hint or try with a woman, you will lose all respect. A man never hints - he tells. Women like a man, not a meek little boy.

 

...I dunno i think i just worry to much....welll actually i know i worry to much but anyhow....What does everyone else think? Anyhow i suppose thats all i have...thanks to anyone who reads all this and responds

Seriously, you just need to stand up straight and tell her to be your girlfriend.

 

You also need to take a look at her when she shows up for the date. Pay attention here...

 

Did she:

 

1. Dress up provactively? (Short skirt, tight pants?)

2. Do her nails?

3. Shave her legs?

4. Do her hair?

5. Do her makeup?

6. New outfit maybe?

7. High heels?

8. Nice jewelry?

 

If she did things like this that means she is taking the time to look good for you. This means she wants you! If she shows up in jeans and a t-shirt... um... yeah, maybe not so much. Sweatpants and hair back in a pony tail, no makeup? Okay, you're done here. Make no moves.

 

Women speak with actions, not words. What do her actions tell you? Does she touch you first? Stare in your eyes? Lean close to you? Come over to your house? When a woman likes a man she makes it easy for him to be with her, and she expects you to make a move FAST. If you do not make a move when she is being so "obvious" she'll think you don't like her or she's too fat or ugly - and that is a slap in the face for her. So, pay attention! What's she doing?

 

And then you HAVE to be sure you are not Mr. Nice guy - you have to be confident, funny, have self-control and self-restraint (make her want you before you act on it.) Make her touch you before you touch her. Be a challenge, be spontaneous, be funny. If you are boring or predictable you'll be dead in the water. Remember that point I was mentioning a long time ago - you have to be MORE than normal with a hot chick. You cannot be average, you have to stand out. And most of all you have to treat the situation like you are the prize and she is lucky to be with you. Most guys worship her and put her on a pedestal and it gets real old real fast. Why do you think she likes those crazy guys? It's because they ignore her! They treat her like she's so-so, when every other guy treats her like a goddess. It's so unusual, so different, it's attractive.

 

[side note: I get hit on women all the time when I walk my two Great Danes. I swear to god they all say the same things. I have heard every single line a person can come up with, and I usually hear it 20 times a day. Now when a woman comes along and does something different I realize that she is NOT run of the mill, NOT average, and I want her number! Do you see what I am saying? She hears the same crap every day. Do NOT tell her how hot she is. Instead, ask her "So besides your looks, what do you have going for you?" (Be careful, don't do this if she's insecure - only if she is stuck up about her looks.) Do not over-compliment her, one per day is sufficient, and it should be something like "Hm, you look nice tonight. I guess." Make her go "WHAT??!? I spent two hours getting ready for you!" and hit you with her purse. Heh heh. Play, have fun. Don't be serious!]

 

So, I think you need to change your name to Mr. Natural. You've done so many right things it's nuts. You're a ladies man, and just don't know it. The only thing you have to do is make your intentions clear and see how she reacts.

 

Remember, if she backs away... her loss, it's not worth your time. I practically laugh at any woman who turns down a date with me. It's such a shock to them! And you should too - it'll show her that you ARE the catch of the century.

 

Good luck!

[FrustratedForLife]

Wow thanks a bunch for the replies PocoDiablo you really did a good job annalyzing all that i wrote haha Thanks for all the tips and I guess i'll just go with it and I ought to be able to manage it alright...The main thing was I always get confused if other girls like me just as a brother like mandy does but I can sorta tell that most don't and I really don't think Jacque does so well just go with it sat night and see what happens. Thanks again for the reply