Girlfriend started to give oral the other night... help!?!?!

[Arka30]

Ok, this is an interesting problem. Never thought I would be complaining. hehe

 

Anyways, in the past few months my girlfriend and I have been getting a little more adventurous. I have no "physical" experience. She knows this. It hasn't been a problem. We have a great relationship and the physical side is fairly new so it's not like an end all. I've been reading this site for a while and when we started to play more I knew what to do from you guys. Apparently I am a good reader and a quick learner because I seem to get very good results. The problem is my GF doesn't think she does a very good job. She also was a little curious at first how I got so good so fast. hehe... anyways... She feels bad that I blow her mind and she can't do the same. I basically finger her and she "pets" me. Yes we do a little bit more than those basic actions but I am trying to simplify this post. To be honest "petting" or whatever it's called just doesn't turn me on very much. In fact, it often becomes painful and irritating after any extended period of time. I've given her a few pointers (o dear god please don't squeeze!... ever) but it hasn't helped much. I felt bad (emotionally and physically), she felt bad. Grrrrr. Well the other night she is "petting" and starts something new. She starts licking her hand and rubbing it all over my "thing". Then, next thing I know she bends forward and her head is well... doing something (along with a few other things excluded for simplicity). It felt very good. Quite good. But, I couldn't help but feeling guilty. I feel like my lack of response to her "petting" drove her to basically perform oral on me. I didn't say anything that night. In fact, I haven't said a word about it sense then. I'm thinking about talking to her about it when we are alone on Friday. Thought I would get your guys advice first.

 

sooo....

 

1) She accomplished what she wanted, and blew my mind. She knows this. I could tell she was quite pleased with herself. Should I really even bring this up? Are my feelings unjustified?

2) I feel like my actions made her do this in a way. While I do enjoy it.... I feel guilty... I don't know why.

3) Is the very awkward conversation worth letting her know how I feel?

4) Should I just ignore my pointless guilt and enjoy it?

 

Looking over what I just wrote I don't see a point. I guess I am just wondering what you guys think of this all.

 

Thanks.

[thegirlfriend]

"she was quite pleased with herself."

 

... and that is an important part of sexual pleasure. Giving pleasure to your partner is just as important as being satisfied yourself. She must have been frustrated about never really giving it to you. Now she did, and I'm sure she felt almost as good as you when she did it. If she hadn't wanted to do it she wouldn't have done it, trust me. So just relax and don't feel guilty.

 

The other thing is that talking is important when it comes to sex. You were not as relaxed as you should have been and you are still are thinking about it. "Is the very awkward conversation worth letting her know how I feel?" Definitely!!! A relationship is all about honesty and trust and it will be conversations like this that build up trust and deepen your relationship. Especially for girls it's the most important thing to let her know how you feel!!!

[CharLit]

Hi Arka, you sound very sensitive to and considerate of your girlfriend's feelings, i think she's a very lucky lady!!!

 

And I'd agree with thegirlfriend, the fact that she seemed pleased with herself is a very good sign - a lot of girls (not all) really enjoy giving BJs precisely because men like it so much.

 

It is very important to talk about sex: things you don't say now will get harder and harder as you wait longer. Though I'm sure she noticed ( it's important that you let her know how amazing you thought it was - it will be good for her self confidence. You could also say in a more general way that you don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to do or isn't ready for - if she enjoyed giving you oral and is proud of taking the initiative, she might be hurt that you think you might have somehow 'forced' her into it.

 

Finally, also in the area of talking about it, you could 'teach' her how to give you pleasure as well. If you feel awkward talking about it (as I do!), you can 'show' her what you like in stead - gently guide her hand, or maybe even 'demonstrate' - but again, only if you don't feel awkward about it. You could also just make a point of telling her everytime she does something that really gets you going. 'i really liked it when you...', or during, 'that feels amazing.." - positive comments will point her in the right direction!

 

Have fun

[babycristy456]

Not everything is going to please you. That is why you guys have to try new things and explore. The petting didn't work but the oral did. I don't think you should feel guilty becuase she enjoyed herself and you did not force her into it. Everyone wants to know that they are pleasing their partner.

[Day_Walker]

I would say a factor why your girlfriend gave you head was that she wasnt getting the response she wanted from the "petting". Now you can feel guilty about this but its reasonable to assume that the "petting" wasnt exactly doing it for you. If you want to feel guilty because of this then feel free.

[Arka30]

Thanks for the responses. I think I am going to go with what CharLit and thegirlfriend suggested. Thanks for the input! It got me thinking straight.

[Derek]

So essentially you were saying she wasn't good at hand jobs? How's a girl supposed to know hand techniques when she doesn't have the same equipment that guys are used to using their whole lives. So she didn't know that squeezing isn't as good as friction, big deal. Just have a frank but light hearted conversation about likes and dislikes. I think the solution is about communication as others said.

 

You are a lucky man to have such a great girl in my opinion.

[Dr]

Hi

 

I know what you mean to feel guilty. I also felt guilty the first time my girl sucked me off and I blew in her mouth. She swallowed voluntarily though so I knew that she had wanted to do it for me.

 

Don't worry about it. She made you feel good and thats what she wanted. If you feel a little guilty I suppose it's because she's doing what girls don't reallyl like doing and you continue to let her without stopping her. If I stopped my girl from sucking me off she'd probably shag me senseless all week as a reward.

 

Point is your girl did it because she wanted to please you. It doesn't matter if she liked it or not she achieved what she wanted to do.

 

Just enjoy it. When I finger my girl my hands start aching sometimes but I still do it for her. Same with the lady's. They don't like sucking but they still do it.

 

Enjoy!

 

Doc

[CharLit]

'Scuse me Dr?! I love giving BJs, as do most of my friends - though I obviously can't speak for all women and I'm sure there are also plenty of us out there who don't like giving head, don't think that none of us do!

 

Ok that was slightly off-topic... how are things now Arka? Did you get a chance to talk to your gf?

[Arka30]

We talked and it all worked out perfect. Thanks for all the advice. I don't know why I sort of freaked out in the head. oi.

 

My temporary panic blocked all the logic receptors in my brain. I am so lucky to have such an open girlfriend. Just wish I would remember it more often.

[Dr]

'Scuse me Dr?! I love giving BJs, as do most of my friends - though I obviously can't speak for all women and I'm sure there are also plenty of us out there who don't like giving head, don't think that none of us do!

 

Ok that was slightly off-topic... how are things now Arka? Did you get a chance to talk to your gf?

 

I humbly apologise! Most women don't like it though!

 

If you love giving BJ's then next time your in my area I'll treat ya as way of an apology

 

Doc