Arka30

We talked and it all worked out perfect. Thanks for all the advice. I don't know why I sort of freaked out in the head. oi. My temporary panic blocked all the logic receptors in my brain. I am so lucky to have such an open girlfriend. Just wish I would remember it more often.

Thanks for the responses. I think I am going to go with what CharLit and thegirlfriend suggested. Thanks for the input! It got me thinking straight.

Ok, this is an interesting problem. Never thought I would be complaining. hehe Anyways, in the past few months my girlfriend and I have been getting a little more adventurous. I have no "physical" experience. She knows this. It hasn't been a problem. We have a great relationship and the physical side is fairly new so it's not like an end all. I've been reading this site for a while and when we started to play more I knew what to do from you guys. Apparently I am a good reader and a quick learner because I seem to get very good results. The problem is my GF doesn't think she does a very good job. She also was a little curious at first how I got so good so fast. hehe... anyways... She feels bad that I blow her mind and she can't do the same. I basically finger her and she "pets" me. Yes we do a little bit more than those basic actions but I am trying to simplify this post. To be honest "petting" or whatever it's called just doesn't turn me on very much. In fact, it often becomes painful and irritating after any extended period of time. I've given her a few pointers (o dear god please don't squeeze!... ever) but it hasn't helped much. I felt bad (emotionally and physically), she felt bad. Grrrrr. Well the other night she is "petting" and starts something new. She starts licking her hand and rubbing it all over my "thing". Then, next thing I know she bends forward and her head is well... doing something (along with a few other things excluded for simplicity). It felt very good. Quite good. But, I couldn't help but feeling guilty. I feel like my lack of response to her "petting" drove her to basically perform oral on me. I didn't say anything that night. In fact, I haven't said a word about it sense then. I'm thinking about talking to her about it when we are alone on Friday. Thought I would get your guys advice first. sooo.... 1) She accomplished what she wanted, and blew my mind. She knows this. I could tell she was quite pleased with herself. Should I really even bring this up? Are my feelings unjustified? 2) I feel like my actions made her do this in a way. While I do enjoy it.... I feel guilty... I don't know why. 3) Is the very awkward conversation worth letting her know how I feel? 4) Should I just ignore my pointless guilt and enjoy it? Looking over what I just wrote I don't see a point. I guess I am just wondering what you guys think of this all. Thanks.

Ok, I really hope this is the right section It feels weird writing this too so bear with me. So the other night my girlfriend and I are messing around a bit. She -for the first time- tries to ummm... stimulate me with her hand Well, I naturally wished to return the favor so I start to move down there on her. She's wearing thin sweatpants and I just go down to run her area. Well turns out I didn't have a clue cuz she took a hold of my hand and geve me a lesson. Showed me where the vagina was and how it's not really the way to stimulate here and then where the clitoris is and told me the best was is to just rub there. Now even after all that I kept getting off track but heck it was my first time stimulating down there. Sooo... my question. Even after my "orientation" I still don't have a clue what to do. I tired rubbing the cit area but after a bit it was hurting her. I feel frustrated because I can't return what she gives me. She says it's ok and it will come with time, but still. Im not too worried about it but getting some tips from pros would be nice. Is there a way I can find the area more quickly if she is wearing, say, sweatpants? And... if I ever go beneath the sweatpants what should I be doing? She says the vagina dosen't really stimulate her and to spend most of the time on the clitoris (that is if I can find it ). I would very much appreciate comments on technique. I just feel lost when it comes to stimulating her down there and I really don't want to cause pain again. Thanks!

Thanks for all the advice! A week ago I got up the courage and just did it. Boy am I glad. ;-) Thanks all for helping me with this! You guys rock. Things turned out better than I could have hoped for. All your advice was great.

I feel so clueless. I've been in relationships before but they have never been very physical. I've been with my GF now for over two and a half months. Recently my GF has been hinting she wants to become more physical. That's not a problem in theory, but... My GF corrects me all the time. I don't mind at all. I'm really am not that experienced physically. She has showed me the proper way to hold and hug her and has helped me perfect my kiss. My girlfriends before her all had me as their "first" so I'm not exactly skilled. So, the other night we came back from an awesome night out. We get to her house at about 1:30am and she says she want to hang out behind her house and talk for a bit. We sit down and she starts to snuggle up on me. After about an hour of talking and snuggling she says "You know, most guys would be totally making out at me by this point." Later she is stroking my arm and asks "What do you think about when I do this?" I ask "You sound like your fishing for an answer" She replies "I am." I didn't know what to say. When I left later at 4 after saying goodbye she smiles and says "Your so innocent compared to me. Im not used to that. I think it means more when you wait." Sooo, I feel really bad and sort of confused. I want to give her what she wants but I don't know how. I told her that I don't know how to do much more than kiss. She just smiles and says she is no expert herself but can teach me. So I dunno. I would attempt to make out with her but after reading all the stories here am afraid. I don't want to mess up and embarrass myself. Any advice for an inexperienced guy like me? :scatter:

I am seeing her today for the last time before her trip. Thank you guys for all the advice!

I've been going out with this girl for about a month now. My shyness has taken her by a bit of surprise I guess you could say. She has dropped many hints that I can move faster. The problem is I am dead shy. It was terrifying the first time I kissed my last GF. It took 2 months. It's so hard for me to "make a move" because I am insecure. She leaves for a 3 week trip in a couple of days and I've set the goal for myself that I at least kiss her before she goes. Last night I tried hard but just couldn't get over my shyness. The thing that at least comforts me is she has been understanding. She knows I am extremely nervous and shy at times and totally looks past it. It's not that I don't want to kiss her it's just that it is so hard for me. She told me yesterday that she is extremely comfortable around me and doesn't want me to be so nervous because it makes her nervous. We really connect but I just don't know what to do. What should I do? I feel like I will never get over my shyness. I fear that it might start hurting the relationship. Thanks.

Thanks for all the advice. I made my call short and sweet. Just asked about her week and then asked her out for Saturday (yes, of course). Thanks.

So, I've seen this girl twice now and am getting mixed signals when it comes to my communications. I think my story below will make things a little more clear. It's been a little while since I dated so Im a little rusty. I've been on two dates with this girl now. The first was dinner and a movie. It was nice, we got to talk a lot. We found out that we have a lot in common. The day after the date I got an e-mail saying how much she enjoyed it and how she couldn't wipe the huge smile off her face. She had a good time. The next week we talked on AIM all during the week and things were cool. That weekend she had a big event to goto so I decided to give her a call before she went off. The call was very awkward. I didn't really have anything to say and only realized it when she picked up on the other end. She saved me by saying she was busy and would call back later. Things went better later when she called back but still were a little strange I guess. Not exactly smooth. When she got back from her weekend event thing I called and asked her out again. The second date was awesome and we got a lot of talking in while having a great evening. At the end of the evening she told me the night was awesome and we need to get together again very soon. Since then (2 days) I haven't seen her on AIM at all. Im a little afraid to call because of how bad that first call went. She seems to like me but seems to get a little bugged by the phone. So, im wondering if I should call and ask her out again. Also, what should I talk about. Im afraid that the call will get really awkward like last time. Any advice you could give would be very awesome. So far I haven't had any contact since the short e-mail I sent a day ago. Thanks!

I've been with this girl for over 4 months now. It is really the first time I have felt this way about someone. We've hit our first conflict though. She has always been incredibly busy with school but lately things have really picked up. The last two weeks we have haven't had any time to hang out. She has been constantly stressed and tired. We barely have time to talk anymore. I asked her why she dosen't take some time off of work to do something with me and she got mad. She says that I make her feel guilty every time I bring up our predicament. The other day she told me that she feels like she is putting me through something I don't deserve. She thinks she is hurting me. The separation hurts but I really want this to work. I know for a fact she does too. The whole thing is upsetting because we both really like each other but we both feel terrible because of the circumstances. Since she said these things to me I've started sending her more e-mails, and calling happy even if I am a little depressed. Trying to show that I am not affected. She says she is confused because of everything and doesn't know what to do. I don't know what to do. We both really want to stay together it's just a very stressful time. Any advice from people that have had this sort of problem would be very much welcomed.

I've been getting to know a girl I met through a friend of mine. We do stuff every week mostly together but sometimes with our friends too . We e-mail each other daily and talk on the phone a lot when we can't get together. We both like each other a lot. The problem is I feel she wants more but I don't know what to do. My friends have tried to push me along but I don't know what I should do. We go see a movie and we just both sit there. Im scared to even hold her hand. I know she likes me but I just don't know how to make a move. I think the fact I don't make physical contact bothers her. Last week we went to a haunted house thing with a group of friends (both hers and mine). We walked and talked together but never really got close. I think she wants somthing more but I am afraid to do anything. What if she freaks out. I think she wants more but what if I am wrong. Its strange because we are very close in every way but physical. Any advice for my situation would be greatly appreciated. Im a little new to this and both of us are very shy.