moving forward.

[cal_014]

ok me and my gf hav been going out for about 7 months and she is in control of the relationship because i just cannot force girls to do anything so i usually just let them control wats happening because im up for anything but i hav limits so yeh, anyway ive got something im going to write to her but i wanted an opinion on it on wat needs to be changed and wat needs to stay so yeh.

 

"I really don't want to ruin anything but i really need a little more in this relationship, our walks r nice but they are getting boring after 7 months."

[Sugar-Rush]

Whatever you do, don't use the word boring, you'll really hurt her!!!

Why don't you be the one just to suggest doing something diffrent, or ask her how she feels about going to the next level. I'm guessing she's young from your age so please be kind and patient with her.

Sugar XxXxX

[LiveStrong]

.....nice but they are getting boring after 7 months."

 

Bad idea.

 

I agree with Sugar-Rush, find another way of saying it but dont use the word 'boring', tell her you want something to change, to do something else with her, and then suggest something that youd like to do other than go on walks, and just see if she thinks it would be a good idea, just dont be derogative (sp?) to what she wants to do.

 

Cheers

LiveStrong

[Dating Coach]

Start putting your foot down. You said that she runs things... well if that is true then she most likely has you doing things that you don't want to do all of the time. You don't have to do them. Put your foot down and seize some control. If she tries to get you to do something you can tell her that you don't want to do it. Don't back down because you fear that she might get mad at you. Don't back down because you fear she might break up with you. Because if that is the case then you likely will never be happy. If she really cares she might struggle in the beginning of your change, but she would stay with you and adapt. If she leaves then she is no good for you.

 

Plus, how about YOU start making plans and setting up dates and such? Start taking the initiative yourself. Who knows, maybe she will like the fact that you are starting to take an active role in things.

[teacup]

"If she really cares she might struggle in the beginning of your change, but she would stay with you and adapt. If she leaves then she is no good for you. "

 

this advice is right on.

[PocoDiablo]

ok me and my gf hav been going out for about 7 months and she is in control of the relationship because i just cannot force girls to do anything so i usually just let them control wats happening because im up for anything but i hav limits so yeh, anyway ive got something im going to write to her but i wanted an opinion on it on wat needs to be changed and wat needs to stay so yeh.

 

"I really don't want to ruin anything but i really need a little more in this relationship, our walks r nice but they are getting boring after 7 months."

Please don't take this personally, but it sounds like she is the "mother" and you are the "child" in this relationship. I did that for years, and boy did my relationships suck! I finally realized that women only respect men - father figures - who can make some decisions. You don't have to make all the decisions, and you don't have to force her to do anything. I mean, really now, if you told her to jump off a cliff do you think she would just because you said so? No! You've got no control over anyone, so don't think you're so powerful.

 

So, now what is going on is that you are not happy. Of course you're not! You want to do something, but you are afraid to tell her the truth because you think it might upset her. Yeah, I can see that. What would happen if you told your mom "Hey, mom, you know I really appreciate how you cook dinner every night but I'm tired of meatloaf every week." Well she'd have a cow, most likely, and go off at you. Does she like to throw small appliances? That can get messy.

 

So how would a "typical" father tell the "typical" mother things need to change? Something like "Darling, I love the work you put into dinner, but how about you pick up some fish for next week. And while I am thinking about it, let's go to a steak house tonight. Grab your coat."

 

Now here is an important lesson in being a man, and making decisions.

 

The Where do you want to go eat tonight lesson.

-----------------------------------------------------------

 

How many times have you done this?

 

Her: I'm hungry

Him: Me too. What do you want?

Her: I dunno. Anything. What do you want?

Him: I'm totally open, did you have anything in mind?

Her: No, I'm just hungry.

Him: Okay, how about Chili's?

Her: No, I am not really in the mood for Chili's.

Him: Oh, okay, how about Applebees? They have those great ribs!

Her: No, that's too messy.

Him: Oh, I know! Let's go get some KFC. I'm totally craving chicken right now.

Her: Nah, too greasy.

[repeat for 5 minutes until you get into a fight]

 

Okay, pay attention, this is a simple lesson. As a man, you simply need to make a decision. So, after you give three suggestions, go back and PICK ONE. Be sure to pick a place that has a FULL MENU so your woman can find something. NO fast food. No craptastic places. Something middle of the road, so to speak, is good. Then tell her "Well, I want to go to Aplebees, and they have a full menu, so let's go there and you can surely find something." That's it!

 

Yes, most likely you WILL face some resistance, but you simply need to be a man about it and say "Look, you asked, I gave three options, and now I want to go eat. Let's go. You can pick next time."

 

If you are driving to Applebees and happen to go by that little sushi place you both like and she points it out... of course make an exception and head in. But if she picks out some place you hate, tell her "Um yeah, next time. I'd really like to go to Applebees, like I said, okay?"

 

END OF LESSON

------------------------------------------

 

Okay, finally.

 

"I really don't want to ruin anything but i really need a little more in this relationship, our walks r nice but they are getting boring after 7 months."

Wow, what a slap in the face. Could you be any more insensitive? I would STRONGLY recommend you tell her "Hey, let's go [rollerblading, go carting, movie, something else] tonight." How about YOU make a decision. This IS a two person deal. Pick something you know you can both stand to do, give her three options, and then pick one. Easy. If she complains, think about how you are being treated. Is it disrespectful? Is she treating you like a child? You're an adult, you need to act like one and be treated like one.