Need help with a girl. . .

[cipher97]

Ive been talking to this girl in my biology class for about 4 months now. When I started talking to her she had a boy friend. I guess he got jelous and told one of her friends he might dump her. She heard about this and then he lied about it and she dumped him. So ive been talking ot her on the phone every night for a few hours and were getting really close. I didnt want to start macking on her right after the break up and give her some time to get over him. About 4 or 5 days ago we were talking and she promised me she wouldnt go out with any other guys until she was ready to go out with me. So today im talking to her online and I read her profile and it has something in there about a boy thats NOT me. I mean she was saying she wants to spend more time with him and stuff and she wont eevn spend time with me. I mean ive asked her to hang out a few times but shes just gives it a maybe. And then this jerk comes along spends one day with her and shes begging to spend more time with him. I confronted her about it she Promised! she will not go out with him. The main thing im trying to do is win her back I could really use some help. Any ideas ??? Im crazy about her. Thanks

[Chris_the_Stampede]

I'm telling you this as someone who's been there and understands the situation. Don't give her another thought. Sometimes women (and I'm sure guys are the same way) will say something like "I'm just not ready to go out with anyone right now." And then, while you wait patiently for her (or him) to "be ready", some other person shows up and steals them right out from under you. The fact that she didn't tell you about this guy and how she apparently blew you off only shows that she doesn't show you the kind of respect you deserve. I'm definitely not saying you should be mean to her, but as for dating, I would just let her go chasing after this other guy. You've got better things to do than worry about her. Maybe she'll realize how rude she's been to you, but let her figure it out for herself.

[cipher97]

Besides forgeting about her any other ideas im really going nuts over her. We have an amazing amount of things in common and we flirt all the time. I dont just want to throw that away i told her things i couldnt tell to anyone else.

[SwingFox]

Hi cipher,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I understand that you like this girl, but that she feels that she is lying to you.

 

I am very puzzled over the way she is acting. She would wait till she is ready to hang out with you, yet she hurts you by writing over another guy. The question is: are you going to put up with that? You might get too available for her and that might or might not lead to you being contacted only when it is convenient for her. That doesn't seem a healthy situation for me.

 

My suggestion is that you evaluate all this and see what you do and dont find acceptable in her behaviour. If you feel that something needs to be changed, I would suggest that you express your concerns to her. Try to vary sweet words with your words of concern.

 

I can only make suggestion to you. The final decision is eventually up to you. I hope that based on what you have read here you will be able to make that sound decision.

 

Good luck

 

~ SwingFox ~